Hey there beauts, I want you to pause and think for a moment… is your life perfect? Are you truly happy with yourself and who you are as an individual today? I know this may seem like an easy question to answer and does not have much thought but is it easy for you to answer? To be honest, being almost 23 years old,I do not think I could even answer this, not truthfully at least anyway. “Accepting yourself’ is much easier said than done. I do not think a lot of people within this world accept themselves for who they are as individuals, I know I am still learning how to accept myself, which is sad but it is reality. I know behind a computer I may seem bold, confident and with all my selfies I must adore myself right? Wrong. Maybe I just love that one aspect of my body where the camera makes me look super thin, or maybe I just love the way the black and white filter highlights my cheekbones… but do I really love me for me? I have been struggling for many and I mean MANY years now with accepting who I am as an individual. I have questioned myself over and over again as to why I can not portray self-love and show it off to others. After searching for numerous years I have finally found an answer. It may not be the answer everyone is wanting to hear but I have found it, and that is being honest with yourself. I did not want to be honest with myself for the longest time, in fact I was really trying to avoid writing this blog, but I knew that others may benefit from it or even take home a message from it. In previous blogs I have discussed the topics of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, body image and so forth. I wanted something different from this blog. In fact, I wanted the main message to be a combination of all of these topics.
Behind some of my pictures on Instagram and other social media sites, you may see an extremely happy/confident girl, which is fairly accurate. I am an extremely happy person, but you do not hear the thoughts that are going through a person’s mind when you are glancing at their selfies or photographs. In the photograph up above what do you see? Some may see a black and white portrait, but I know I see someone who is struggling to keep down their dinner they had tonight due to an eating disorder that decided to come back and take over. And that is number one topic that I decided to be honest with myself, and that is my bad eating habits. I know in previous blogs I have discussed this topic and how it had gone away. I have come to the reality that I think this eating disorder is always going to be a part of me, but is not going to define who I am. I may think here and there about my weight issues but I am going to keep living each day to it’s fullest. I know some people are bothered and ashamed to admit that they may have this problem whether it be bulimia or anorexia, but it is something that should be talked about. Maybe this way, others such as younger audiences will be more educated on these serious illnesses. I am not ashamed to admit that I am both of these illnesses, and I am not ashamed that I am going to counselling to get this under control. I just knew that I could not pretend anymore that these disorders did not exist, I just had to be honest with myself.
Self- Acceptance is about finding positive vibes or positive energy and applying it to oneself to create “happy thoughts”. In order to help create those happy thoughts, you owe it to yourself to be completely honest, like a heart to heart with you and your body/mind. I know for a fact I am never going to be a size 0 ever, or a size 1 …. it is not in my books. Even though I strive for that perfect, skinny, body type, I had to be honest with myself. Lyss, do you really want to give up chips, pop and all junk food pretty much everyday and are you committed to work out everyday? Oh hell no at least not at this very moment in time. I knew for a fact that I pretty much could not give up pop , I have tried and tried but I don’t want to. So now what? Well time to be honest with myself. Does eating those stuff occasionally make me happy? Yes. So why give something that makes you happy up for that size 0 body image? Even though I struggle with my size, I am still going to eat that piece of pie later and enjoy every bite, I just had to be honest with myself.
……. and what about that “A” word… ya you know it, stupid anxiety. I could rant about it day in and day out but I won’t to save you some time. Alright time to be honest with myself, are you ever truly going to get rid of this mental illness? Probably not. Have you been working on coping with it? Yes you have, and that is being honest with yourself. I know I may not be that social butterfly at the parties until I have had a few shots of tequila, or I may not be able to look you in the eyes for a long period of time when I am speaking but hey…. at least I have a voice, a quiet one but I do. I have come to terms that I will always be that “quiet type”, but in my books, that is ok. Being quiet does not define who I am let alone anxiety. I still love to share my blog posts with hundreds of people including with my friends on Facebook, I can gather up the courage to go adventure out to the mall by myself and take my sweet ass time, and I can also dance my ass off with my best friend tequila…. and you know what…. that is OK. I may need a little extra help here and there when it comes to social events and socializing but at least I am being honest with myself. Are you?
Even though you do not want to face your “flaws” or your “insecurities”… sooner or later you have to in order to find or help find self acceptance within yourself. Even though I am 23 years old and look like I have my shit together, I do not. Am I trying to get my shit together? Yes. How am I doing this? By accomplishing the first step…by being truly honest with who you are as an individual. You owe it to yourself. These do not define who you are as an individual, but they help you accept who you are as a person… different from everyone else in your own unique way.
Thanks for the read my beauts, let me know if you guys enjoy these more personal blogs! Be sure to follow my page for my blog posts to come in the near future,
Much love xo
itsthelittlethingsinlifethatmatter 