Soft Brown/Pink Smokey Eyes; Morphe 350 Shimmer Palette Tutorial

Soft Brown/Pink  Smokey Eyes; Morphe 350 Shimmer Palette Tutorial

 

 

Good evening beauts! Here with another makeup tutorial on the stunning Morphe 350 Shimmer Palette. I am going to keep this one short and sweet for you beauts, so shall we get right into it?

First, I already applied my full face such as foundation, brows, powder, highlighting and contouring. I always love applying my face makeup first before doing my eyes. I don’t know why, is anyone else with me on that one?! I then am grabbing my Morphe Palette, and am going in with this beautiful light light pink shade. I am using a fluffy brush and applying this in the crease as well as slightly above it. I also am using some tape for the eyes. I want to have a very clean line after applying my shades so I simply applied tape to the outer corners of my eyes.


Next, I went in with the darker pink shade that was beside the previous shade and applied this within the crease only while using my fluffy brush. I made sure I kept it only in this area, and blended it out quite nicely.

Next, I went in with this beautiful browny-pink shade and applied this to the entire lid. After applying this shade, I made sure it was blended quite nicely and a nice transition was made from the lid to the crease. Since this is a darker shade, you want to make sure there are no harsh lines.

After applying that shade, I am taking this dark brown and applying it to the outer V of my eyes. This is going to create depth and definition to the eyes. I also removed the tape after this step. Voila, nice and clean and hardly any fallout whatsoever.

After applying the shadow, I then went in with my trusty and fantastic new mascara by L’Oreal and applied this to the top and bottom lashes. I also added a winged liner and applied the dark brown shade that we used for the outer V, underneath my lower lashes.  I then did some last minute touches such as applying some lipstick and highlighter. I decided to give this new highlighter a go and it is the Clinique Chubby Stick from Sephora. I did like this highlighter a lot, and it was very easy to use which was great! For my lips, I used the Maybelline Colour Jolt Intense Lip Paint in the shade “Stripped Down”. I absolutely love these lip paints, they are so moisturizing and my lips feel phenom.

I also went in with this light cream shimmer in the Morphe Palette and applied this to the inner corners of my eyes just to brighten them up!

I hope you guys enjoyed this makeup tutorial on another look for the Morphe 350 Palette! I have honestly too much fun experimenting with colours and shades! You guys know the drill, be sure to check out my other social media accounts to stay updated!

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Social anxiety group therapy- session 8 ( last session)

Social anxiety group therapy- session 8 ( last session)

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Hey my beauts! What a bittersweet moment it is. I can not thank you guys enough, my viewers, friends and family for supporting me through this new journey I had taken! For those of you who are not up to date with my social anxiety blogging posts, I will basically just summarise my journey and why I started attending these sessions. I have always been a very anxious person , even when I was little. I remember in elementary school always worrying constantly about homework and my studies. I was then diagnosed with general anxiety disorder within my years of university . I finally exploded and could not take it anymore . I received the help I needed to get back on my two feet , as well as taking medication on the side. My anxiety was under control for a long period of time but spiked back up again a few months ago . I saw my therapist and was inquiring about my anxiety levels as they were peaking again. I did not know if I just got used to my pills or needed a higher dosage. While speaking to my therapist , she had a thought. She handed me a sheet and asked me to rate my anxiety through all these social interactions. I scored a 90 for anxiety rating as my social anxiety levels were extremely high. She recommended that I seek this social anxiety group therapy sessions, but I was completely against it at first. Even the thought of group therapy gave me butterflies …. I would have rather had individualised therapy sessions. She informed me that everyone else in the group was on the same boat I was , suffering as well . I eventually agreed to the group therapy and I am so glad I did ! The first session was brutal , nobody really talked , hence the anxiety , but the instructors were very nice and comforting .

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Now look where I am today ! I made it through 8 sessions and finished my social anxiety treatment program. It’s amazing how far I have come. I notice it completely and so does my friends/ family members. From being so shy where I couldn’t speak on the phone to now being able to order a pizza over the phone is insane. I also can small talk with individuals without my chest tightening up, I am more relaxed while doing so ! The only exposure on my hierarchy that I need to work on is asking for help. I have struggled with this all of my life and it’s not going to be an easy one to work on let’s just say that! However, I made so many improvements over the past 8 weeks on my exposure hierarchy that I am super proud of myself.

So 6:00 hit and I sat down at the table for the last time.  We began our session with taking up homework that we had the previous week. Basically, our homework for last week was to just work on our exposure hierarchy. I had raised my hand and offered to speak to the class. I explained that I had been working on small talk again and stated that I had gone to a bar sober and met one of my friend’s friend there. I was afraid it was going to be very awkward but in reality, it went great and the conversation never died.  I was very proud of myself and so were my instructors! They had stated that I was improving a lot and were happy I was working so hard on my exposures.

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We then went into our last session of discussing new information. The instructors started discussing how to maintain our goals for the future. How we should continue to use the strategies we learned and also continue practising them as well. Rather than ending the treatment, we are encouraged to start living your life in a new way, when there really is no end. I am going to practice being assertive and focusing on my hierarchy goals.  We also discussed some of the goals when talking about cognitive behavioural therapy. We need to gain control of our anxiety by using the strategies we have learned over the past weeks to manage it. We need to become our own therapist. Since we now do not have our instructors to help guide and tend to us, we have to be our own coach.  We need to encourage ourselves as if we were speaking to our best friend.

Sometimes, dealing with social anxiety may not always seem effective, this could be for multiple reasons. First, maybe it’s too low of a dosage. Maybe we are not doing enough of our exposures to move past our fears and what makes us nervous. We could not be challenging ourselves enough as well. Another reason could be related to stress. We may be so stressed out or having a bad week that this interferes with our motivation and energy levels, affecting our exposures. Or simply life could get in the way. Often things pop up that may not be all that great, and unfortunately, we can not do much about that. If some things do get in the way of our exposures and trying to better ourselves, that is okay. Let these things happen, it does not mean to get discouraged at all. Let these things happen and when the time is right, you can work and use your strategies.  On the other hand, things may be going as planned and are effective, but what if the fear returns?  We need to sit down and think about what strategies were effective for ourselves, and we need to question ourselves as to why it came back. Sometimes, we only do our exposures occasionally, that leaves room for the fear to creep back in your life as you are not exposing yourselves more. However, there are things we can do to help prevent this from happening. First, continue using both the cognitive and exposure strategies. Second, practice these in different situations so that your exposures become second nature to you. You just have to keep, and eventually, anxiety will begin to decrease over time.

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We were then given some useful and resourceful information based on different articles about social anxiety. I will list them down below for you beauts:

  • “The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook: PProven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear” ( by Antony M.M and Swinson R.P. 2008)
  • “10 Simple Solutions to Shyness: How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety and Fear of Public Speaking” (Antony, M.M. 2004)
  • http://www.anxietybc.com

Overall, I am so grateful and proud of the person I have become today. Months ago, I was so shy and uncomfortable for everything, it was absolutely awful. I know I needed to do something for myself and pronto even though I was scared to reach out. It is okay to ask for help and reach out if you want to better yourself. I highly highly recommend this group or some form of social anxiety treatment based groups if you are struggling that I was. I will share with you guys the accomplishments I have done over the last 8 weeks and what was on my hierarchy, to begin with.

Exposure Hierarchy

  1. Talk with individuals one-on-one
  2. maintain eye contact
  3. manage anxious thoughts about what people think  of me
  4. tolerate criticism
  5. express more in a job interview
  6. go to a party sober
  7. call people on the phone
  8. return an item to a store
  9. ask for help

What I have accomplished

  1. speaking with individuals one-on-one such as my boss and meeting new people
  2. have tried maintaining eye contact with people during one-on-one conversations on multiple occasions
  3.  If I embarrass myself, I really do not care so much what people think of me
  4. I can call people on the phone now
  5. I have returned an item to a store
  6. I have gone to two parties sober

What I need to work on- asking for help and job interviews as nothing has come up so far.

At my orientation for the group therapy, we had filled out a sheet in regards to “willingness to change”. I will share with you guys what the instructor and I had discussed based on what I would like to accomplish:

Benefits of overcoming your social anxiety: 

  • more comfortable talking to people
  • be happier
  • pursue job opportunities

Reasons for changing:

  • just finished university and wants to improve future prospects and her state

Specific goals:

  • feel comfortable talking with another person such as her boss, strangers
  • make friends
  • arrange job interviews

Previous attempts:

  • breathing techniques
  • Prozac

I can truly say I am a changed person when looking back on this sheet of paper. Never in a million years did I think I was going to overcome social anxiety, let alone I did not know I actually had it that bad. I am so glad I reached out for help, and I encourage you guys as well. If I can do it, you can. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, I have it, and I am sure others who are reading this have it as well. I will say it once again, anxiety does not define who you are as an individual. I hope you beauts enjoyed reading these sessions in regards to my group therapy meetings, I hope you beauts learned a lot, and thank you for all the love and support you guys gave me. Means the world to me. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts for updates on the latest posts!

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“Listening to your Body” with Meghan Dendekker 

“Listening to your Body” with Meghan Dendekker 

Hello my beauts ! How is everyone doing ? Anything exciting happening this week with you guys ? Nothing really exciting happening here just working away ! I recently just had my last social anxiety meeting forever and it was bittersweet ! One thing that I personally loved within each class was the opening the class up with mindful breathing . I had mentioned this within a previous blog before but I really wanted to emphasize how much I enjoyed doing this at the beginning of each class . I have tried on my own time meditation before and that one time was amazing . I really followed the girls voice who was narrating it and really felt at ease with my body and mind . I really wanted to get into meditation and yoga because I heard wonders how much it helps calm and soothe you . Being a very anxious person I am often looking for alternative ways to calm myself and relax from a stressful day. When I started researching about yoga and meditation, I found it overwhelming mostly because I knew nothing about it whatsoever and did not know really where to start . That is when I discovered 23 year old Meghan Dendekker , god bless her soul . I went to high school with Meghan but we never got the chance to actually meet. I had noticed her Instagram one day start lighting up with beautiful meditation and yoga poses , and literally thought ” wow “, that looks so interesting and it grabbed my attention right away. I love learning new things and I am very open to this experience and the new opportunities life has to offer.  You guys know me ! I had to reach out to her immediately and ask he about her methods and advice on meditation and yoga . I am so excited and happy to announce that I will be collaborating with the beautiful Meghan on this unique and inspiring blog post ! Meghan spent a lot of time prepping for this post and you will literally see why ! Without further , grab your yoga mat , have a seat and lets get chatting !

Meghan like I mentioned above,  is a 23 year old girl who has always been used to being that independent person all her life. Growing up the youngest of three is never easy , so the emotions of feeling unheard and undervalued were present leaving Meghan often full of anger in which she was really good at hiding . Being ” the baby ” had its consequences of course but everything was not all bad .  Learning to be independent , Meghan began travelling and making her own choices and decisions.  Trying hard to not let the negativity and hardships get to her , Meghan started practicing yoga and meditation.


I began right away asking Meghan about her practices and when she began this adventure ! Meghan explains, “I was a competitive dancer for about 14 years of my life and I have always been pretty in-tune with my body. The problem with dance is when you stop; it takes a huge toll on you, physically. The last few years of competing I suffered from non-specific back-pain, knee and hip issues. I finished dance a year after high school and went to college for 2 years. During this time, I hit the gym once in a while, but the pain was always there which affected my mood and motivation. Eventually I took a few yoga classes at the gym and although they were beginner, I really enjoyed them. I have been practicing yoga for almost 2 years, and meditation for 6 months now. With meditation, I knew it could help control the temper I have… but I never knew where to start or how to conduct my own practice. I started researching more about it and attending more classes that incorporated meditation”.  That is so interesting to me ! I have always wanted to try a yoga class but never really had the guts to do it ! I wonder how it would be ? I would probably really enjoy it to be honest , sounds like Meghan did !

Do you practice yoga and meditating every day?  If so, what time of the day works best for you ? “Basically, my body will speak to me. I don’t practice everyday, I practice when I know I need to but also when I want to. Based on my schedule it can be any time of the day, but I’m a nighthawk and before bed is my usual practice time. I usually meditate when the day is almost over because this is when I can reflect on and observe the thoughts and emotions I had that day. Keeping up with what goes on in my mind is definitely something I consider a priority, especially if life starts to get hectic then I know I need to take a rest and sit for bit”.  I think I would personally find it best before bed as well to be honest . I usually find working out before bed to have a great impact on my sleep quality , so I can only imagine the sleep quality I would have with meditation and yoga! Makes me want to try it now! I love how spiritual Meghan is when she states , ” my body will speak to me“. I love this. I find we do not listen to our bodies enough when they are trying to speak to us.


I then went on to ask Meghan about certain types of yoga and meditation. As you all know I do not know much about yoga at all whatsoever , so I did not want to insult her on this question ! I generally wanted to know what exactly she practices in her spare time . Meghan states, “In terms of being involved with certain types, I am exploring as much as I can at the moment. Currently, I am in my 200 hour yoga teacher training with De La Sol in Hamilton/ Waterdown, so hopefully it will help guide me toward my niche. I do however, LOVE slow deep hot classes such as Hatha or Yin. Deep stretching allows me to incorporate meditation while I practice, and connect to my mental and physical self as a whole. I can check in with parts of my body that feel tension, and relate it to how it makes me feel. I actually have silent conversations with myself, which sounds so silly but it really helps me focus on my inner self. I consider these practices to be my “absolute me time.”

I love this ! I love how Meghan is getting out there and doing her thing,  it’s inspiring !  I love learning about her classes and more about meditation and yoga in general . I have heard this so many times when it comes down to these practices is that it’s about focusing on parts of your body that are tense and need that extra help.  I love how she considers this her ” absolute me time “. That’s awesome . Especially since you are literally worrying about nothing else in that present moment but your own personal thoughts and body. I find this would be super relaxing and this “me “ time would be super beneficial .

   (The crow position ) 

What is your favourite pose or position? Explain. ” I am really learning to love crow pose. This is a pose I could always hold, but I never felt good in it. The biggest challenge while in a posture is finding comfort in it. I have been practicing that focus a lot lately. Recently in my teacher training we learned some super helpful tips to feel lighter and stronger, and low and behold… I am feeling so much better and confident in this pose! This progress is something I am so proud of at the moment! For a more passive pose I really enjoy happy baby or child’s pose. Both are amazing hip openers and a super nice stretch on the low back “.  I have always been super jealous and envious of people who can do the crow position . This looks so hard and looks like you need to be super flexible to do so !  I find that so interesting how she states that her teacher taught her some usueful tips to feel lighter and stronger .  That is so crazy to hear but amazing at the same time what you can do with your body and mind. I find this would truly help a ton that’s for sure! Maybe I’ll get Meghan to teach me this pose one day that I always wished I could do ! I absolutely however, love child’s pose . I find this so relaxing and lets my muscles breathe and stretch , feels unreal . I often do this when I am working out to stretch out after a hard workout !

I went on with the collaboration to ask Meghan if she self taught herself to do these practices , I was very curious ! Meghan explains, “Yes and no. I was a dancer so being aware of my body and moving it in ways that aren’t considered normal, came very natural. After dance was over, occasionally I would stretch out my usual sore spots but then decided to start watching YouTube and using Pinterest for yoga poses and ideas. Eventually I started going to real classes. Meditation was not self-taught. I began taking guided meditation in yoga classes and obtaining tips from some admirable teachers to further my personal practice”.  You got to love Pinterest and YouTube ! I would have done the exact same and actually have done so when experimenting with meditation and yoga myself . I have to get the guts to actually attend classes however ! This is the best way to do it though , asking the experts ! In order to better yourself and do the best you can , it’s okay to ask for help and be shown what to do !


 Do you find that you are feeling more at your best now that you have incorporated yoga and meditation? “I can definitely agree that incorporating yoga and meditation in my life has brought out the best in me. I rarely have lower back pain anymore and my mood more balanced. I have noticed that I am calmer and more relaxed, especially in traffic. My thoughts are clearer and I am more attentive to them. Yes I still experience anger and off-feelings, everyone does.. But the way I deal with and evaluate them is very different then the usual “snap”. It also gives me something to grow with and look forward to, and that to me is so important. I’m not saying this is a cure all, but for me it’s close to it “ I for sure have to try this out ! I don’t necessarily have any injuries but I need to feel calmer for sure after a stressful day at work .  That’s amazing Meghan ! You are so inspiring and there’s something about what you write and how you word things that is calming altogether .

“True yoga is not about the shape of your body,but the shape of your life. Yoga is not to be performed; yoga is to be lived.Yoga doesn’t care about what you have been; yoga cares about the person you are becoming.Yoga is designed for a vast and profound purpose,and for it to be truly called yoga, its essence must be embodied”  –   Aadil Palkhivala, Fire of Love

Do you find that your practice has helped with mental illness at all or do you believe this could potentially help someone who is suffering? “Personally, mindfulness and meditation has been helping a lot lately. There are times when I have these breakdowns because my thoughts are everywhere. I can’t understand for myself why I felt this way and what the heck triggered it. Then I’m left stressing and wondering WTF is wrong with me.. When I sit with myself frequently, I am able to lay out my thoughts and see the patterns of my feelings. If I was feeling upset that day, it’s a little clearer to find out what the trigger was, and if I can control the outcome next time. Here’s a simple guideline for a classic meditation if you’d like to try it for yourself:

I find it beneficial to sit in a comfortable space and tune into your breath, don’t force your breathing but just notice you are breathing.Picture nothing until thoughts pop up like clouds. Don’t shut them out, follow them. Evaluate your clouds of thought, how do they make you feel? Feel the feeling, but don’t become the emotion. Witness it, allow it, release it. Let go.Picture that cloud of thought moving past you in the sky, that thought is gone. It does not serve you anymore.Sounds easy right? Always come back to your breath if you get distracted. When your session is completed, slowly open your eyes and always give yourself love and gratitude for taking the time to heal and be with yourself. Be attentive to how you felt before, and how you are now feeling, take note of the difference. Use it as a positive foundation to reset the clocks in the mind”. 
Thank you so much Meghan for providing us with this example of meditation! I was so excited when she provided this I thought that was so neat and for sure going to try it !  I couldn’t agree more with what Meghan is saying about mental illness and helping with that ! I have anxiety , and I have heard nothing but positive results with meditation and yoga reducing anxiety or calming you. I am so glad I had asked this question, because I was very curious to ask someone who actually does meditation and yoga , and get their views on this. Let me know if you beauts try out this mindfulness activity and guided meditation!


What has this practice taught you about yourself? This practice has enlightened me of things I have unconsciously allowed in my life that have not been serving me in a positive way. Lately it’s been easier to evaluate what is actually doing me more harm than good, whether it’s a friendship, path in life, or family member. It has taught me to slow down, breathe, evaluate, and let go. This practice has shown me that growth will only happen when you fuel the fire and keep feeding it. It has been inspiring my own self-love and gratitude. I always thought I loved myself, but the truth is I never really knew myself until I started looking inward. This practice encourages me to embrace all I am, all I can be and all that I want to create for myself”.  The thing that stuck with me from this specific part of the conversation was the ” slow down, breathe and let go” aspect . I could not agree more . By the sounds of it , meditation and yoga help so much with this and allowing your body to get out of that constant rush, to just slow down.  I am so proud of you Meghan for exploring new things and finally figuring out who you are as an individual! We should all look up to this and encourage one another to spend that time searching who you really are . Meghan found who she was , did you ?

I was also interested if Meghan uses these practices as a hobby or is she relies on them . Meghan explains , “I totally rely on it. If I don’t practice for a while, I notice the back pain coming back and I start to feel stiff in various places. I also start to feel disconnected from my body. If I have had a crappy day, an asana practice or meditation is definitely my go-to. I know it will make be feel better even if I’m super unmotivated”. I feel the exact same way when I take a few days off from the gym or can’t make it for some reason. I am miserable . It is like my body strives for that exercise, and calls for it ! I completely get where Meghan is coming from that’s for sure.


Are there any props that you use when completing your practice? “After an asana practice I usually apply some essential oils to the back of my neck, behind the ears, temples and wrists while I lay in my final pose and rest. If I’m going for more of a spiritual meditation, then sometimes I hold my special objects and exchange energies with them, then always complete the session with a bow to Buddha. Some of my meditative objects include crystals, feathers, candles, a salt lamp, my weeping yogi, and a sacred mala. For a lengthy mindful meditation I often journal about the experience afterwards”.  I have always wanted to purchase essential oils to use for my body , the boys who I nanny for use these oils and there’s all kinds for different purposes! I am for sure going to look into this.  I found this so interesting to read ! Meghan uses a lot of beneficial props when completing her practices which is so fascinating to me .

Lastly , I asked Meghan one last question in regards to her future plans or goals for her practices . Meghan states, ” Future plans are still in the works. I definitely know this is where my heart is and my passion grows brighter every single day. I would LOVE to travel and teach yoga retreats, so I’m dreaming the opportunities right now but other options are always open. I’m ready for whatever the Universe feeds me J I really hope you enjoyed reading, I’m totally open for feedback, it’s what helps us grow!”

TIP: If your one of those people who has tried yoga once or twice and hated it, please don’t stop there. Keep in mind that there are thousands of different styles of yoga and teaching methods. Chances are the one you tried just isn’t right for you. It also depends on the teacher. Give it another shot!”.

Namasté, beautiful souls ❤


Thank you so much to the beautiful and spiritual Meghan Dendekker for collaborating with me on this blog post on meditation and yoga.  I have learned so much from reading her answers as I am sure you beauts learned a lot too ! Be sure to follow her Instagram page for more updates on her practices!

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I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post as much as I did ! Be sure to comment below and let me know if you are involved in yoga or meditation! I am curious ! Be sure to follow my social media accounts for updates on future blog posts !

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Much love xo. 


Sunset Eyes/ Morphe 350 Shimmer Palette

Sunset Eyes/ Morphe 350 Shimmer Palette

 

Happy Tuesday my beauts! I hope your week is going good for yous! Mine seems to be unfortunately going by slow, but you know what that means right? That means go out and by a new palette to recreate different looks! I was recommended by “LaurensLipGlossary” to try out the Morphe 350 Palette! If you have not checked out her blogging channel already please be sure to do so, you’re missing out! Her channel is amazing and she’s such a sweetheart! Anyways, I am so glad that I listened to her and finally got my hands on this palette. It is amazing. The pigmentation is unreal, and honestly, I am so glad I purchased this. I purchased this for around $45.00 which is insane for how amazing it is.  I am so used to paying around $60.00 for palettes these days.  It was a very hard choice deciding whether to purchase the matte palette, or the shimmer palette. I decided to try the shimmer palette, personally because I absolutely love shimmers altogether. I was playing around with the shades and came up with this beautiful “sunset” look. Let me know what you guys think!

I first took this beautiful light orange shade, and placed it within my crease with my fluffy brush. This is going to act as you subtle transitioning shade.

 

I then went in with this reddish shade and applied this to the whole entire lid. I thought this colour was absolutely stunning, and thought it would look perfect for this look. This shade is not too dramatic either which was great. After applying this to my lid I went in with the shade beside it, a very shimmery red/maroon and applied this to the outer V to create a smokey eye. I was so drawn to this colour as it literally is the sparkliest shade in the whole palette. love it. I also applied this shade underneath my bottom lash line to add a more dramatic effect.

I then went in with this light orange shade and applied this to the inner corners of my eyes to brighten them up and make them stand out.

I next went in with this amazing mascara that I just tried out today and I honestly think it puts L’Oreal Telescopic to shame. Did I actually just say that?! It must be great then! I loved how this mascara had a primer on one side and then the actual mascara on the other end. The primer really did help a ton when enhancing and lengthening my lashes.

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After applying my mascara, I then went in with some black eyeliner, and applied this to my water line, as well as my top lash line.  I then added a winged liner to the top of my lashes! I was honestly debating forever what lipstick to use, because I did not want something too overly dramatic with this look, especially with dramatic eyes. I thought this beautiful purple lipstick by NYX Cosmetics would look fantastic.  It is the NYX Cosmetics Lingerie in the shade 02. This really pulled the look together. I think this look would be great for spring time!

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(some looks I tried without the winged liner and some with just to show you guys the different looks you can create!)

(Yes I did not include false lashes for this tutorial because honestly, the mascara was enough!)

I hope you beauts enjoyed this look! Let me know if you would like some more tutorials on the Morphe 350 Palette, I would be more than happy to do more! Be sure to follow my blogging channel for more blogs in the near future as well as my other social media accounts!

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Much love xo.

 

“14 Going on 20; Comparing Generations”

“14 Going on 20; Comparing Generations”

Processed with MOLDIV

Hey beauts, I have been super excited to share with you guys what my latest blog post was that I have been working on. I was honestly thinking of this idea for a blog post for a while now, for some reason it is extremely interesting to me. What I find so interesting is how the generations have changed so dramatically and drasticallyBy no means am I bashing the 14-year-old generation today, I am simply comparing from when I was 14 years old to the age my little sisters are today. From topics such as social situations, friends, appearance, recreational activities, and education, you can clearly see two different generations. What scares me about this generation, however, is how fast kids are growing up these days. Literally from 14 to 20 like that, and it’s the norm.  Having 14-year-old sisters who are in grade 9, I wanted to personally see how much our generations have changed over time. I got to see first-hand what it is like in the day of a 14-year-old girl, and I can not wait to share this interesting information with you beauts. Let’s jump right in.

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First things first, I have a twin of course who I mentioned in one of my previous blog posts before, but I also have two younger 14-year-old sisters, Jennifer and Kimberly,  who are twins as well…. shocking I know! I love it. Kimberly and Jennifer both attend a catholic high school together. I first got onto the topic of social situations and friends. I had asked Kim how many friends she had. Kimberly stated, “I have around  60 friends, I am close to around half of them. I talk to them whenever I see them at school.”. Okay first of all, can I just say, I don’t think I have ever had so many friends in my life. When I was in grade 9 I remember having like one friend and that was my sister. We were in the same situation as Jennifer and Kimberly, new school, new people. At least ,however, they had some of their friends attending their high school with them, where as my twin and I did not know anyone.  I then went on to ask Jennifer the same question, she stated, “I have roughly about 10 or 8 at school”.

I then proceeded to ask Kimberly if she found it important to have a lot of friends. Kimberly explains, “Yes and no. Yes because everyone at school has lots of friends, and no because sometimes I don’t talk to half of them.I think that it is okay and acceptable to not have so many friends although it would be more acceptable to have a lot”. I could not agree more with Kimberly, I feel like this generation often depends on having a lot of friends. Jennifer agreed stating, “yes because you can meet more people”. This leads into my next question, “If you were to only have one friend, would you consider yourself unpopular?” Kimberly states, ” Yes because everyone now has lots of friends that they see in the halls or on the weekend”. Interesting.  There has always been the concept of popularity, and I feel like this has always been a huge thing in high school. I remember, however, that you were a big deal if you had around 6 friends, as opposed to 60. Can you tell times have changed? Would I be considered unpopular because I only have 2 main best friends? That is a question that ponders me. Do I consider myself unpopular? No. Do I think I am queen shit? No.

Jennifer answered, “ Yes because I wouldn’t get noticed that much and I wouldn’t have a lot of people to go to, it would only be one person”.

Is there bullying in your school and a lot of gossip? Kimberly-” There is usually gossip at my school based on what a girl and a guy had done on the weekend. I usually do not hear so much about bullying however”. 14…..14…. and there is gossip about intimacy and all that jazz. I personally think I was afraid of dinkys til about like 20 no joke. I can not believe that kids as little as 14 are being spontaneous and promiscuous it blows my mind. In grade 9 I did not care about boys, I cared about making it to class on time and not getting into trouble. I was that girl 5 minutes early to every class

.I then proceeded to ask Jennifer the same question, she stated, “Yes a lot of gossip about me spreading stuff about people that is not true, it’s a vicious cycle .  However, I don’t see bullying too much… just a lot of girl talk”.

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…”I feel like others will forget about me”.

This next question also blew my mind as well. I had asked Kimberly and Jennifer if they ever felt obligated to attend parties at their age. Kimberly explains, “yes because highschool is a lot diff then elementary school. In elementary school you hang with only a couple of people where as  at a party in high school you hang out with a lot of friends at a house. A lot of popular people go and there is the opportunity to make new friends”. What do you guys think? Do you think this should be seen as more of a pro going to parties or a con? I can see both sides. Do I agree with drinking at 14? Absolutely not. I do promote the idea of making new friends, but at a party there will be drinking, usually always. I was not involved with parties until grade 12. GRADE 12. I did not care about drinking, or trying new things. I was worried about my grades and like I said, making it to class on time. It’ a scary thing to think about when it comes to parties. I think what scares me the most is that 14 year olds are still developing and their brains are still maturing. They are obligated to make mistakes and learn from them, encounter bad decisions but fix them. I feel that a lot of 14 year olds would be under that pressure or may make a very poor decision that could affect them for the rest of their lives, and that is what scares me.

Jennifer answers, “I feel obligated  to go to parties sometimes because if I don’t show up, I feel like others will forget about me”.

Recreational Activities

Moving onto the topic of recreational acvities. I started off by the girls what they do for fun. Kimberly answers, “Hangout with friends, go to Tim Hortons, or Macs, take pictures and post them on social media  which is always fun”. Okay, so that is pretty standard. Jennifer explained, “I like to go on my phone  usually on Instagram and snap chat”.


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I then went on to ask them what they do for fun on the weekend. Kimberly states, “I am usually on my phone or I am on social media accounts such as Snap Chat”. Jennifer also agreed to the same things. I remember having a phone in grade 9 because we had moved to a brand new school but for safety reasons. I was only involved on Facebook I believe it was. I had no idea what snap chat was or even Instagram for that matter. I do remember texting a lot…. I was no saint.  But when it came to the weekend, I would often hangout with the family, go bowling, go to the store to shop or hangout with some friends.

Technology

I knew this was going to be a huge topic of discussion, especially in this generation.  Cell phones are everything. You can literally find absolutely everything on a phone and could spend hours on it. I know because being 23 years old, I do spend a lot of my time on social media and getting the latest gossip on technology. I asked Kimberly and Jennifer how often they were on their phone each day. Kimberly explained that she was mostly on her phone 5 hours a day. Jennifer went on to explain that she was on her phone from school til bed time. I was then curious to see if my predictions were correct. I thought for sure that 14-year-olds would hardly ever speak on the phone since texting is the primary form of communication. However, I was wrong. Kimberly explained that she actually is on the phone a lot of the time talking to her close friends. I do promote this since I thought for sure this form of communication would soon be forgotten, so I am happy this is still around.  On the other hand, Jennifer stated that she would much rather text as opposed to socialize over the phone.

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What kind of social media platforms do you use?  Kimberly-“My main platform of social media that I usually go on each day would have to be Snap Chat and collecting streaks. I sometimes use Instagram here and there but could go a month with that”.

Jennifer- “Instagram and Snapchat”

Have you ever gotten your phone taken away? Can you explain more what “streaks” are on Snap Chat? Kimberly- “Yes I have had my  phone taken away before because I was caught drinking alcohol with my friends. Streaks are what you collect on snap chat when you send someone a snap in a row. A good number of streaks to get would be around 200-300. You can lose your streaks within 24 hours however.

 

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Stress

I was extremely interested in getting to know what causes my sister stress. Personally what would have caused me stress at their age would be finshing homework on time, getting things done on time and so forth, so I was excited to hear about her. There were a couple of things that stresses Kimberly out. Kim explains, “Uhhh probably getting my phone taken away and counting on my friend to keep my streaks up on Snap chat. Another thing that stresses me out is friends.Some people have friends that are in grade 11 and 12… and a lot of them.Sometimes it’s stressful because you try to make new friends but they already have their tables in cafeteria , depends where you sit and who you hang out with at school. Lastly when it comes to clothes. My friend was over the other day and she had really nice clothes and mine do not really compare to hers. She was wearing this loose sweater with tights,  and it looked good on her. Clothes are a big deal”. This was so interesting to read and listen to. Personally, I did not care what I looked like in grade 9 at all. I had no desire to impress anyone.  Also social media was not a huge big deal at the time in my era, which fascinates me that is what stresses some people out these days. Stress is different for everyone. That is okay.


A lot of things had stressed out Jennifer as well that I found interesting. Jennifer states, “a lot of things stress me out, usually with a boy if he doesn’t want to talk to me I get upset, being nagged to do chores,  I  am worried about what people think of me.  It would bother me if they thought badly about me.” Again, it all comes down to what others think of themselves at that age.

How do you deal with stress?Kimberly- “I usually go into another room so I don’t make a huge scene to calm down. Or sometimes I facetime my friend to talk about it”. Kimberly also goes on to explain that she would rather keep things bottled in as opposed to talking about it. The fear of judgement is there for herself as well as for her friends. I do agree that this generation is quickly to judge. When I was 14 I spoke to my mom about everything and never really kept anything bottled in ever, or I would have lost it. To this day, I still go to my mom about everything and anything.  Jennifer explains, “I don’t really do anything, I just stay quiet”.

This next question was a huge eye-opener, and one that made me sit back and think, “wow”, something needs to be done about this. I had asked Kimberly and Jennifer how their friends deal with stress and both gave me the same answer.. Kim explains, “most of them usually self-harm or starve themselves . Some of my friends leave and don’t tell people where they are going. That is their way of coping”.  No wonder children are getting the wrong idea in their heads that this is a good coping mechanism, they think it is normal, and it is not. This was super scary to hear but it needs to be heard. They need to be heard. Where are the proper coping strategies and resources for these kids? They are kids right? Where is the help and where can it be found? That is the question that needs to be answered and provided.

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Peer Pressure

I knew that peer pressure has always been a hard topic to discuss and it literally is always lingering around, that is nothing new. I wanted to know if the peer pressure has increased, especially for the younger crowds such as 14 year olds. I had asked the girls if they have ever been peer pressured by a boy before or to send pictures? Kim states, ” yes I was peer pressured to send pictures to a boy but I didn’t. He dropped it after I refused to send him anything, I wasn’t too peer pressured”.   Jennifer stated that she did not have any boy peer pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to before.I think the part that scares me if that since 14-year-olds are still developing, they can be easily influenced for sure. If someone told me at 14 to send pictures and that they will only be the ones to see it, I probably would have believed them. Especially if I was in a relationship with that individual and truly “in love”, I would think what is the harm? Now answering that question years later, that would be the worst mistake of my life. You never know where that picture is going to end up, and how your reputation could be potentially ruined. It is not worth it. It is not worth it to be peer pressured into something. 14-year-olds, and young audiences need to know that it is okay to say no and stand your ground. Nobody can force you to do something you do not want to do.

Kim  and Jen went on to explain that sometimes they feel peer pressured to drink with their friends, because so many people their age drink. Kim explains that the curiosity is there even though she knows it’s wrong and not the right decision.  Since it is normal for 14-year-olds to go to parties these days, why would she think any differently?

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Do you feel like you have to act or be a certain way in the views of others? Kimberly- “Sometimes, some of my friends are really nice and they wouldn’t ever do anything to get into trouble. Whenever I am around those groups of friends, I act that way. Some of my other friends, ,however, don’t care sometimes..so you can say I am not myself around all of my friends”. 

Jennifer- yes I can not be myself in public, I can not be goofy. I can’t act weird around the guy I like”.

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Beauty

I think this is probably one of my favourite discussions throughout this whole blog. Mainly because I literally see so many 14-year-old girls look like they are going on 20 years old… and that is scary.I began to ask Kimberly and Jennifer how long it takes them to usually get ready in the morning before school. Kim explained that it roughly takes her around an hour to get ready, ensuring she looks presentable and ready to take on the day. Kim states however that when it comes to the weekend, there is nobody to impress, so she doesn’t spend so much time getting ready when she wakes up. Jennifer on the other hand , went on to explain that she is usually rushing out the door, and that it takes her around 20 minutes to do her makeup.

Do you wear makeup to school? If so name the products specifically that you use. Kimberly-Yes I do wear makeup to school each day. I wear sometimes eyeliner, mascara, foundation, highlighter, eyeshadow and lipstick”.


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Jennifer-yes I do wear makeup, I wear bbcream, eyeshadow, mascara and lip chap”.

Okay first of all, I am mind blown, I don’t even know how my sister knows about highlighter but I would have never known what the hell that was in grade 9! I think I literally wore mascara and that was it, like I said, I really did not care what I looked like each day whatsoever.  This answer blew me away. Even some of my sisters friends look like models and they are 14 years old, I lierally am left speachless looking at some of theirInstagram pictures. Do I think they are growing up way too fast? Absolutely. But would you get made fun of if you did not behave like this, probably. Welcome to this generation, how would they know any better?

Would you ever go without makeup to school? Kimberly-“I did not wear makeup the other day to school. I couldn’t stand the first period without it and it was bothering me so much. After first period, I put it on,  simply because I brought it in my bag. You could say I prefer wearing makeup  to school”. I personally think that a lot of young girls feel the need to wear makeup and look a certain way. I think more young girls should be promoted and influenced to go natural and to show off what God gave them. Like I stated earlier.. would this be considered normal?

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Education

Lastly, I got onto the discussion of education and what happens inside and outside of the classroom.. I had asked Kimberly and Jennifer how much homework they usually get at night. Kimberly explained that she usually finishes all her homework in class, but if she doesn’t finish it, she usually has aout half hour of homework at night time. Kim also stated that she usually does not finish all of her homework because she gets bored very easily. I wonder however, if the teachers check on the homework if it is complete or not. I remember my teachers would go around with homework checks to see if you completed all of your homework. I also remembered that we would get in a lot of trouble if you did not finish it all.

Jennifer went on to explain that she gets very little homework at night now, but used to get around 2 hours of homework each night. She then went onto explain how she too gets bored of homework and sometimes does not finish it all.

Do you text or message people in class? Kimberly-“Some classes I cant have my phone but I bring it anyway and still go on it. I however, mostly just listen to music on it”.  I remember being scared shitless to have my phone out in some of my classes, mostly because the teacher would call you out on it. I never really had my phone out ever when I was in grade 9, I was honestly too scared.

So, now that I compared generations, can you see the scary difference? By no means am I judging, but this was a huge eye opener to how fast this generation is growing up and changing. I really hope you guys enjoyed reading this blog post, I thought it was so interesting coming up with and getting to know the ins and outs of 14-year-old girls these days. I hope you all enjoyed it as well. If you have any comments on this article be sure to write them down below, I want to hear some of your views on this. Be sure to follow my social media accounts to stay updated on my posts!

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Empties/New Beauty Products; March

Empties/New Beauty Products; March

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Happy sunday beauts! I hope you guys are all having a wonderful weekend so far! My weekend has been great which always puts me in a good mood! I decided to write today’s post on new beauty products that I have purchased for the month of March and instead of making another blog, I decided to mention some empties that I will be repurchasing as well. I always always love reading these kinds of blog posts, I think they are so informative which is awesome, so I thought, “why not do it for you beauts!“, let’s get into it!

New Beauty Products

I am going to mention some of the newer products that I purchased this month. I did not really buy too many products because to be honest, nothing really caught my eye that much. However, the couple products that I purchased I am super happy about and thought I would share with you guys. The first is the picture located at the top. I purchased the new “Cupcake” face mask from Lush. This face mask smells unreal and is to be kept in the fridge. I tend to have combination skin, so I find that this face mask works perfectly when I do have oily skin. I really love how this face mask has ingredients to calm redness, cool those troubled areas, and to deeply cleanse your skin. I really do love this mask and highly recommend trying it out for yourself. I purchased it at Lush for around $11.00.

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The second product that I have for you guys is… you guessed it…. the Nicole Guerriero Palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills. I purchased this at Sephora for around $52.00, and highly highly recommend trying it out for yourself. I have been constantly using the same highlighter since forever, it is the Laura Mercier Highlighter and I usually always mention it within my makeup tutorials. I was hesitant to try a new highlighter but can honestly say I am glad that I did! I absolutely love the variety of shades this palette comes with. You get pink shades, coral shades, champagne shades, platinum shades, and brown shades. I focus the brown shades more on contouring and bronzing areas simply because they are a bit darker for a highlighter. I usually go in with my regular bronzer then apply the shimmery Nicole bronzer on top and it looks absolutely flawless.  You can play around with the shades when it comes to different looks as opposed to just using one highlighter.

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(Yes I already got the top of it covered in foundation… leave it up to me)

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Hands down I would have to say this is my favourite eyeshadow palette at the moment, it is the Modern Renaissance Palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills. I was recommended by a friend to try this out and I have to say, it is absolutely flawless. The amount of looks you can create is insane, and there is literally a look with everything. I love how this palette pushed me out of my comfort zone and got me to experiment with new shades and colours. I now wear oranges and purples to work which I never would have done. The colours are extremely pigmented which is wonderful and you can make the looks as subtle or dramatic as you wish. I purchased this at Sephora for $55.00 and highly recommend giving this baby a try!

Empties

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So I literally just bought another beauty blender today at Sephora for around $28.00. If you would have told me years ago to go out and purchase this sponge I would have told you that you are out of your mind and I am not purchasing a sponge for $30.00. Guys, I can not live without this now. I have had my old beauty blender for a couple of years now but it was looking pretty beat up not going to lie. I had the black beauty blender but decided to get the pink one just to change things up a bit. I always use my beauty blender when applying my foundation to my face, my concealer and so forth. Even if I am baking, I will use my damp beauty blender to apply the powder under my eyes (works unreal). I for sure think this is my ride or die, I don’t know how I lived without this. If you are hesitant to spend the money on a sponge trust me, it will change your life.

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I just recently finished this product and will for sure be buying another one. I loved using my Mac Studio Fix Powder when setting my foundation. This was around $33.00 at the Mac store, but highly worth it in my opinion. I love a powder that is full coverage, just incase I do not feel like wearing foundation a certain day, I can use my powder instead and be ready to go. I love the full coverage and it does not feel heavy on my face at all.

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I absolutely love my L’oreal Telescopic Mascara in Carbon Black. I purchased this at Shoppers for around $15.00 but it literally makes my lashes look unreal. I love mascaras where you can actually notice you are wearing mascara, and I love ones that make your lashes look super long. I have naturally long lashes so when this product is applied…wow. I absolutely hands down love this drugstore mascara.

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This is hands down my absolute favourite eyelid primer. I have been using this for years now and it has not let me down. It is a yellow shade which makes your eyeshadow just pop and stand out a whole lot better. This is the Kat Von D High Voltage Eye Primer, and I purchased it at Sephora for I believe it was around $22.00. I highly recommend trying this out for yourself if you are looking for a good quality eye shadow primer.

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I absolutely love love love this foundation! It is the Urban Decay All Nighter Foundation in the shade 2.0.  I bought this a little while ago and it really has lasted me a long time! I usually only wear this foundation on nights out or when I have a long day ahead of me. This is not an everyday foundation simply because it is so heavy duty. I always make sure after wearing this for a night out, I treat my skin after with a nice mask, just to let it breathe . I bought this from Sephora for around $50.00, but highly worth it.

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Yes, this product looks beat up to shit I am aware. But hey, it got some great use out of it! This is the NYX Cosmetics Eyeshadow in the shade Taupe. I think this eyeshadow was under $10.00 which was awesome. I actually use this shadow for filling in the beginning of my brows for the gradient effect. This colour works beautifully and can be used in so many different ways. This is an amazing transitioning colour as well, and is very pigmented.

I hope you beauts enjoyed this quick post on different beauty products that I purchased and products that I will be repurchasing as well. Let me know if you guys have tried any of these products before! I hope you guys have a wonderful week, be sure to subscribe and follow my social media pages:

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Social Anxiety Group Therapy Session 7

Social Anxiety Group Therapy Session 7

Processed with MOLDIVHey beauts! I know I know , where have I been with my updated social anxiety group therapy sessions ? I sadly did not make it to my 6th session because it was a very long and bad day I was having ! I was actually surprised that I only missed one session out of my 8… that’s a record for me and I am very proud of that ! I have worked hard these past 7 weeks and have really pushed myself in my group therapy sessions , obviously attending them and trying to push myself further out of my comfort zone . I have learnt so much these past weeks it has literally been insane !! This week was super challenging for me , mostly because the exposures are getting more challenging and they are really trying to test your anxiety levels . I was not nervous whatsoever I was more excited this time .. why might you ask ? Because this is my second last therapy session ! Can you believe it ?! Where has the time gone ? I literally thought that this therapy was going to be a long 8 weeks , but it literally has flown by .

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We started off this session by taking up some homework that we had from the week before . We were working on assertiveness and the ability to speak our mind or say “no”. I had been working a bit on this over the week and actually practiced this exposure once . My boss is very flexible with my hours and on st pattys day , she asked if I wanted to work til 5:30 or she could even do 4. I was assertive and asked if she could do 4 instead which was hard for me because I am too nice to go home early! I feel bad for some reason . Meanwhile, this suggestion was completely fine and she said that was perfectly okay. Being assertive is not really all that bad after all !  Saying no on the other hand, will be a completely different story . We then had to go over any exposures on our exposure hierarchy we have been working on. I raised my hand ( huge improvement), and stated that I had attended a party sober . Yes may seem a little funny and ridiculous but for me ,that’s a big deal . I am always afraid that when I am sober attending a party , I will not know what to say to people or be completely awkward. I always usually ensure that I had a couple drinks before I attend a party , so this was on my list. I went to a st pattys day party at my friends and literally went sober with my best friend. I knew it was time to push myself. I basically initiated some conversations and really pushed myself when I got to the party . Yes I was completely out of my comfort zone . Did I keep going ? Absolutely . My best friend stated that she could notice a huge difference in me right away . She could not believe how much I was socializing with people and not under the influence of alcohol at the time ,  not until later at least ! I did it . I managed to force my anxiety out of the way and actually enjoyed myself , sparking conversations left right and centre .

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For today’s session, we went on to discuss the dreaded interviews and interview techniques as well as skills. I literally hate interviews. I think a lot of people develop anxiety over them, I know I do! This was on my exposure hierarchy but obviously, I could not work on this one as I had no potential interviews coming up! When you are discussing potential pre-interview skills, it is helpful to use your anxiety thought record, and predict what will happen. It is important to plan ahead for the interview such as learning about the organization, what are your strengths and weaknesses and so forth. When talking about your weaknesses, this can be super tricky. It is important to try to gear more towards behavioural skills as opposed to different characteristics.

One thing to keep in mind when preparing yourself, is to remember that it is okay to regroup your thoughts during the interview. Nobody is perfect. When it comes to interviews, the interviewer knows for a fact that you are nervous and that it is normal. So breathe.  It is also important to practice deep breathing before the interview and practice positive self-talk. Using coping statements such as “ you are going to do great!“, or ” you have done good in interviews before“, will help you out tremendously. When it comes to the actual interview time it is important to be punctual. Arriving at least 15 minutes earlier as opposed to arriving right on time is better and makes you look better as well. It is important to ask questions at the end of your interview, this shows that you are interested and your listening skills are on key. When it comes to the post interview, it is also important to send an email thanking the interviewer. It is also important to write down your interview questions that you were asked just to review them for later on down the road. You can question yourself, what went good? As well as what could I have done differently?

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After discussing about interviews, we went onto the topic of public speaking. As soon as the instructor said this my heart sank. I was literally thinking, great. What exposure and activity are we going to have to do?  We had to do an in class speech by ourselves. We were given 4 smarties, and depending on the colour you had to answer certain questions about yourself. We were required to speak for exactly 2 minutes, timed, and we had the choice of standing in front of the class, standing at your seat or sitting down. I actually surprised the hell out of myself and went first. I could feel my heart drop as I stated that I would like to stand in front of the room. I knew damn well my anxiety was not going to win this exposure that it was time to face one of my biggest fears, public speaking. Even though it was only for two minutes, it literally seemed like 10. I think the most anxiety provoking thing about it was that I did not really have time to prepare my answers. We basically got our smarties, had to look on the board for our 4 questions, and begin. I always have had a fear of not knowing what to say when put on the spot. But boy did I ever surprise myself. I am actually getting teary eyed typing this because I can not explain to you how proud I am of myself and how proud I was in that moment. Even though I paused sometimes to gather my thoughts, I was shaking, my heart was about to burst, and my smarties were melting in my hands, I was okay. I did it. I started with, “Hi, I am Alyssa, I am 23 years old and so forth“. Before I knew it the timer went off, what a relief that was. I told everyone my smarties were melted and one girl replied, “don’t worry, they taste better that way“. I love my group. I have gotten so comfortable around them and it is sad knowing this is my second last session. I am so fortunate to have been given this opportunity, to challenge a demon that has been hanging around for far too long. My anxiety does not define me. Sure he may make me feel uncomfortable, seem shy in certain situations, and awkward in others, but I am still Alyssa.

We have to continue to work on our anxiety hierarchy form that we work on each week.I am not too sure what I am going to work on this week but stay tuned to find out for my last session! I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post on my updated sessions. Please subscribe and follow my social media accounts to stay informed!

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