Hey my beauts , hope you all are having a wonderful week so far ! I keep forgetting it’s a four day week so pretty much have been confused all week as to what day it is , living on the edge a little bit. As you guys know , I have been doing more inspiring stories lately just because I see people each day who would use a little pick me up here and there. I really enjoy writing these types of blog posts , you can actually find more of the ones that I have completed early on, maybe last year on my blogging page ? I have recently gotten back into the swing of it and some of you have really enjoyed these types of posts. This one is for those who are anxious to admit that something needs to change, that “I” need help and are too afraid to ask for it.
I’ve been there. In fact, some days I am still there. It’s probably one of the hardest things to admit to yourself , to literally sit down and say out loud ” I need help”. I have been in your shoes. I have been where you are all through university, struggling and trying to hide that I had a few dark secrets. It’s pretty easy to hide things that you don’t want to face , trust me , anxiety and I have been playing this game for years . But finally , I did it. Enough was enough. Sure I could’ve taken that bottle of Tylenol that was spilled all over my bed, sure I could’ve locked my door so my roommate didn’t have to burst in, and sure I could’ve been silent on the phone with my mom. But what would this all have solved? Would this have made life easier, better ? No. In fact , that would have made me selfish and bitter towards life. There’s way too much to live for , I didn’t want anxiety taking that away from me . He wasn’t going to take that away from me . It’s okay to ask for help anxious girl. I was that anxious girl too .
I know what you’re thinking, ” what will others think of me?“. Your true friends, the ones who hold your hair back when your puking after too much vodka, the ones who let you cry on their shoulder and the ones who encourage you to smile will understand. But what about the rest of the world you may ask? What about them. I bet you they have their own problems going on , maybe even worse than yours. My therapist once told me , ” don’t let anxiety take over your life, it’s okay to admit that changes need to take place“. That is exactly why I participated in a group that took place every Wednesday evening. That is why I would tense up before 6 o’clock hit. And that is why I would be exhausted coming home around 8 o’clock that day. Mentally exhausted because I pushed myself. I admitted to the internet, friends and family , but most importantly to myself that I needed help. And I am okay. Sure I may get anxious here and there, I may have to miss work once a month to see a therapist, I may have to take 3 mandatory pills a day for my anxiety , but I am okay.
Dear anxious girl afraid to ask for help,
I know you will be okay too . If you need me I am here to talk to. I know you’re scared and I was too. In fact anxious girl, I strongly encourage you to get that help you need today. Don’t let your problems or underlying issues drag behind you all your life. That is no place to live. That’s not living, that is simply getting by. I don’t want you to just get by, I want you to laugh uncontrollably until you pee your pants, I want you to be cheering on your sisters at their talent show , I want you to love life. At one point I didn’t love life, but admitting I need that help was one of the biggest accomplishments I have ever made. Now that I have asked for help, I am more comfortable asking for help when it comes to other things. When it comes to my eating habits I am getting the help , and guess what. I am okay. I know you can do this , it takes two seconds out of your day to finally listen to yourself. Friends have always told you you’re a good listener right? I heard you’re very good at it, so show me. Show me you can do this and show yourself you can do this .
My names Alyssa Hotrum, I am 23 years old . I have underlying eating disorders and am diagnosed with general anxiety as well as social anxiety . I admitted this to myself, can you ?