Dear Girl Afraid of Falling Behind

Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

You’re not alone trust me. There are days where I look around me and wonder “Why don’t I have a big girl job yet?”, or how come I can’t seem to find a job in my field. Sure I have had babysitting and nanny jobs in the past but it’s not the same. I did not go to Brock University for 4 years to come out and apply for waitressing jobs. I am behind, everyone is going forward without me, and I am stuck. I want to scream for the world to slow down so I can quickly move up and not be so far behind. I am almost 24 years old, I should have my life together by now, I should be out of school, having my career dream job, starting a family in the next 5 years but somehow I feel so behind. Why? Don’t you hate that? Your thoughts in your head that won’t shut off even when you close your eyes to sleep and turn off the world around you? There are some days where I feel on top of the world as if no one can get on my level and bring me down. Other days I drown in my thoughts and wonder why I am moving so slow through life when others around me are running through it. It makes me feel like a failure. Welcome to my negative side. She often comes out when there are too many thoughts strolling and wandering through my mind. She’s terrible but doesn’t know it. I hate when she comes out, it’s as if everything I do is not good enough, that I need to try harder in life to succeed. But what if I let her win? What if everything I did I considered a failure in life? I would be miserable. I would hate who I was as an individual and I would be so burnt out from trying too hard. I am not going to let her win. She can’t and doesn’t deserve to. She’s miserable and that’s no way to live. What if I told her to look at things from a different perspective? Then what. 

Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Did you tell her? Let’s take a second to break down those things you see as “failures in life”. So you don’t have a big girl job yet, so what. Sure you want one, but how did you get that degree in the first place? By studying, by sleepless nights, by breakdowns, by endless amounts of presentations and assignments, and by four years of hard work. Now take a step back and ask yourself, “Do you really see that as a failure?”. Or those of you who have tried school and can’t seem to find the right program for yourselves. That’s okay because guess what. I thought I was going to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, and I found out that just wasn’t the right career path for me. So I tried a new route and love the program I am in right now. There are so many different programs out there that how the hell are you supposed to narrow it down and just chose one? It takes time, and I feel like everyone thinks time just runs out like that. Sure we grow older and get wrinkles eventually but that’s years down the road, not tomorrow, not the next day, or the day after that. You have TIME. And we need to reassure ourselves that we do. Even if we take a second out of our days to remind ourselves about this, that’s okay. I have to remind myself that I am not behind in life, that I am not falling behind. In fact, I am taking my time. I am not rushing, I am simply waiting for opportunities to come and find me as if it’s a game. I have been hiding for so long, that I think my hiding spot is too good for opportunities to find me. But then again, everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe in that saying and live by it. So girl afraid of falling behind, you’re only 2 seconds behind, not a year, not 2, not 3. It’s okay to not be on the same route as everyone else, and it’s okay to take that extra time for yourself to figure out what you truly want in life. Decisions are difficult. And it’s okay to take time for them.

Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Focus on you. Focus on which plan you want to do next and stop worrying about the speed around you, you’ll get there. I know it feels like your miles behind but you’re not. Don’t let her win. There are times she’ll try to make you feel like you’re nothing, that you’re a failure, but you are far from that. Look at your accomplishments and everything you’ve done in life, it was not easy to get there, you worked for it. Even though time does not stop and people are continuing on with their lives around you, you go at your pace. Jobs will always be there, school will always be there and you’ve got nothing but time, endless amounts of it. You go do things at your own speed and life will accommodate you, trust me. I believe in you, and you’re never far behind. Things happen for a reason and always remind yourself of that.