Dear 23-Year-Old Self 

Dear 23-Year-Old Self 


It’s me again, I hope you beauts are having a wonderful Tuesday so far! Last time I wrote to you it was for my 16-year -old self which I found rather refreshing. Of course, if I had to go back in time, or tell my daughter in the future about my 16-year-old self I would remind her of a bunch of things, the do’s and dont’s of life, the ups and downs, the yeses and nos of life and so forth. But I don’t think I have touched on the later years in life that are shortly down the road.  I think it is so important to write dear letters, especially to yourself, it allows you to see things from a different perspective and get all your thoughts down on paper. A lot has happened since I was 16 to now 23 and I feel that I need to remind myself a lot of things, with regards to the struggles I went through to the great memories I cherish.


Dear 23-year-old self,

You made it. You’re here. In fact, you’re almost halfway to 30, so take a step back, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself. This wasn’t easy I know, in fact, if I had to do it over again there are things I would do differently and change, but unfortunately, we cannot turn back time, just keep moving forward. 23 is a big year and a lot of things are happening in your 20’s. You most likely are almost done school or decided to maybe continue education like yourself and I am proud of you for doing that. I know you did not want to go back to school again, 4 years of university is a lot, and I know you get really down and hard on yourself. School was not easy for you. You had a controlling boyfriend over the years of university who reminded you how dumb you were and laughed at your ideas. But you proved him wrong. You walked across that stage proudly and accepted your diploma and got your degree. You met another young man who accepted your flaws and would remind you how creative and smart you were, you did good kid. So you did it. You completed that phase in your life, and when another opportunity came up years down the road you took it. That is one thing I want to emphasize the importance of 23-year-old self. When opportunities come your way grab them. Do not be afraid of what’s going to happen next, but take advantage of things coming your way. And your opportunity was social work, and being accepted into a college to continue your education. I am so proud of you. I know a lot more opportunities will come your way after receiving this diploma. But aside from school, there are other changes you are experiencing right now. It’s a word that starts with an “A”. You guessed it. Adulthood. If I had to explain adulthood in one sentence, it would not be easy. We all experience things at different speeds in life, but if I really had to say something I would say this, ” Adulthood isn’t easy”. I wish I was prepared more. But nobody really informed me what was coming my way. I have never really shared a house with someone, especially my significant other before.  If I had to give you one piece of advice 23-year-old self, it would be that you made the right move. Sure you had your fights here and there but you tried something new. You had to accommodate and adapt to living with someone else and that is never easy. You really learn a lot about someone once you live with them. Overall, it was a great step and a big one at that. I think you made the right move.


Dear 23-year-old self, 

Mental illness runs in your family, we all know that. In fact, I think everyone suffers a bit from mental illness in their life, the severity of it depends on the coping skills you know and the strategies that work for you. You found out after 23 years that you developed social anxiety and you never knew you had it. I think you secretly knew something was up, but never thought anything of it. I am so proud of you for doing something about it. You challenged yourself and took it on.  Some people struggle and just keep struggling but you wanted to do something about it which is amazing. Not only did you attend meetings every Wednesday for two hours, but you blogged about your journey to share with others and that takes courage. I know you love helping people and that’s why you chose to do that. You are an inspiration to others and I am not too sure if you see that just yet. Don’t worry, one day you will take a step back and notice the little things you do in life that are amazing, like yourself. Not only have you improved on your social anxiety but you have attended several interviews since then. This was not an easy step for you to accomplish and do. You hate interviews. It’s the fact of not knowing what will come next, or what if you say something stupid and they look at you funny. It’s all these “what-ifs”, but for some reason, in these last few recent interviews, you did not ask those in your mind. You focused on how well you were going to do and believed in yourself. You trusted yourself. If there is one piece of advice I would give to you 23-year-old self it would be to trust yourself and to give yourself a chance in life. Have some faith and hope and use your coping statements, you got this. You are improving every single day, did you notice that? Did you take a step back today to notice your accomplishments? You should do that just to remind yourself. 23 is not an easy year nor is ageing into your 20’s. I honestly wish they had a pamphlet to tell you the do’s and don’ts but then again, you wouldn’t learn from your mistakes. 23-year-old self you have made so many mistakes in life, but you are still here, learning from them, and doing better the next time. That’s all I can ask for. So thank you for making this a not so hard letter for me to write, sure I could write down all the things you did wrong and let you know how badly you messed up but where is the positive in that? I know 24 is going to be the year for you, I can feel it. Thanks for making 23 a good year for me, you have come a long way, as Tom Delonge would say it, “Life’s just waiting to begin”.

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Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged

Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged

Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

Who isn’t afraid of being judged? I feel like all my life, I have always put others first before myself, wondering what others may think of me, and wondering what their opinions are of me. But it’s time to start living, and I feel like I have not lived my life yet.  Wondering who’s going to like my Instagram photos, when in reality, they don’t know the story behind the photo, but automatically you are going to be judged. That’s life. No matter what you do, somebody is going to judge you whether you like it or not. But you know what? Own it. If you want to post a progress picture that you are too afraid to post, just do it. What is the harm? It’s your account, your Instagram, and your time to show off your progress. I can admit that I am a selfie queen, and a lot of people have asked me in the past, ” why do you post so many pictures of yourself?“. One word, I am “proud“. I am proud of how far I have come as a human being, challenging myself each and every day. I am proud of how I look, and how much I have worked on myself, I am proud of how far I have come.  I have gained a sense of independence and I have become stronger over the years. So why do I post so many selfies of myself you may ask? Because I woke up today and I am happy to be alive, I am feeling good, I want to show off my best friend’s amazing photography skills, or I am just generally in a good mood. That’s why.


Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

I was that same girl, in fact, I still am at times. It took a lot of people to get through to me that it’s okay to not care what others may think of you. Do you really have to impress them? Are they really too caught up in your life, that they forgot about minding their own business?  I can relate to this statement. After breaking up and getting back together with my boyfriend I knew the judging would start. I had endless amounts of time to think and really think hard if this is what I want in life, I knew for a fact the judging would be there, but I had to push that aside. I knew that some people would not agree with the decision I made but in reality, “who cares”.  Are they really going to determine your happiness for you? Are they the ones in your relationship? No.  When you are thinking twice about posting that Instagram picture because you gained a couple pounds over the summer, just think, “Who are they to guide your life, to guide how you live, and to guide your direction in life?”. You are your own person, you have your own mind, you can make your own decisions. I currently am focusing on my life, my relationship, and my future. Those who can not accept it are not really your true friends and are not going to be there in the long run for you. This is like an experiment and I am testing you. I am testing you to see if you will be there for me, you may not agree with everything I am doing, but you will be there for me in the end. That is the real test. 


Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

It’s time to start your life and be who you want to be. I am supporting you 100%, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I will be there for you. In the end, it’s about you and your happiness, not theirs. It’s not their life, their body, their mind… it’s yours. I am in the process of not caring what other’s think of me anymore. It’s not an easy thing to do, and the road may be a bit rocky, but once you stop caring what others think of you, you can truly find your happiness and start living your life. I can finally say I am starting to live my life the way I want to, are you?

I hope you beauts enjoyed this dear letter for the week. I usually gear my dear letters towards what is on my mind, and what I think other’s around me will benefit from, and learn from. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page for more blog posts to come in the near future!

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Dear Struggling Girl, 

Dear Struggling Girl, 

Dear struggling girl,

You may know me on a personal level or I may be a complete stranger to you, let’s just pretend for this moment in time, I am one of your best friends. I don’t know exactly what you are going through all at once, but I may know a few things. In this world full that is full of hatred and terrible things, there are a few good things, shall I remind you? I know work is exhausting. I know you get up super early each morning dreading work, dreading your coworkers, wondering who is going to yell at you today, but do you see the glass half full or half empty? Can you see the good in this situation? I see a girl who has a job while others are struggling to find one, I also see a girl who is showing independence that they can work and are capable of doing things on your own. Remember when mom used to always say, “you can do this on your own“,when you needed her help? She was preparing you for this moment in time. But should we talk about mom? I know you come home from an exhausting day at work and just want to crash in your room with the door locked, you would rather not hear what she has to say. One day, you won’t be able to hear what she has to say. You won’t be able to see her every day and get mad at her for not stepping up in the mom department. You won’t be able to not just talk to her for that day, one day she will be gone. Dear struggling girl. I am not trying to depress you, I want you to diminish that thought of the glass being half empty.  I want you to hug your mom in one of your screaming matches and take in her flaws, take in every single one of them. Appreciate them. There’s only one of her in this world. I know you hold a lot of hatred struggling girl, and it’s okay to be mad at things that happened in the past. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, you can’t just live in the past anymore. I know you’re hurting, I wish I could take that old pain and new pain away but I can’t.  I don’t know your whole story.  I know there is a lot that goes on behind closed doors as to what the present eye witnesses. I am not a fairy godmother, I can’t make things better when they seem terrible. However, I do have a wish for you struggling girl. I wish for you to see the positive in every negative situation.  You’re alive. You’re healthy. You are here. Let’s make today about today, not yesterday.

Dear Struggling girl, let’s talk about boys for a quick minute. Not all boys are terrible, not all boys are great either. Remember when mom used to say, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea“, and you used to always think, “where are they“. That’s because, in reality, fish are afraid. You can’t go near them without swimming away. You have to wait til they come to you. That is the same with boys. The right one will come and find you when you least expect it. When you’re a hot mess from working out at the gym and locked yourself out of your car, it’ll be that guy down the street laughing at you silently. When you had a bad day at work and are swearing to yourself down the street, it will be that guy yelling swear words back to you as he smiles under his breath. I know you’re searching for that guy, being alone is lonely that’s for sure, but remember when you told mom and dad you were going to live with them forever and never get married? I want you to have a similar mindset. I want you to be that independent girl you always were, in these situations, she hides. I want her to come out. I want her to treasure every “single” moment in life, being single or with someone. I want you to not search but then again I can’t tie you on a leash. Remember, the fish will swim away, and that is not just with you, that is for everyone.

Dear struggling girl, did you say 3 positive things to yourself in the mirror today? I know that sometimes we get so down on ourselves that we start to think if no one wants us, then I don’t want me either. Picture this. 5, 10, 15 years from now, would you want your daughter, your little mini me thinking the exact same way you thought at that age. Life is too short struggling girl, and I know you would want the world for her. I want you to stare in that mirror and think about all your accomplishments over the years. Are you proud? You should be. You completed school, you mastered your exams, finished your papers, and got the motivation to get up each morning for class. That means a lot to me. I know deep down that means a lot to you too. Is your diploma framed on your wall? Go to Wallmart buy the most expensive frame because you deserve it, and hang it in your room. A simple reminder is something everyone needs each day. A reminder that you got yourself here. You have done so much over the years and I want you to know I am proud. I am proud you thought twice about ending your life that one day. I am glad you thought things through struggling girl. People would be miserable without you.

Dear struggling girl, life is not on a time limit. It’s okay to change your mind a billion times about school, it’s okay to change your program, you are not a failure. Sometimes, our minds do not know what they want, and that is part of life. I want you to sit down and think about what you want to be in life. If you want to be an astronaut I will go to the moon beside you, if you want to be a painter I’ll be your still life, anything you want to be I will be here for you, I will be beside you. I want you to know that it is okay.  I want you to know that nobody is perfect, and we are all going to have our bad days. It is however, taking a negative situation and turning it into a positive that I want you to try out. Trust me, it’s not easy. I myself and struggling to do this very same thing.  Life is soo short struggling girl, and I know first hand how short it can be. I know deep down you can do this. I know that your emotions are getting the best of you, but I want you to learn to love life. I can not love life if you’re not enjoying it. That would not be fair. I want you to live for the moment, the present moment. I want you to love your life because I love you.

Is your glass half full yet?