Dear Girl Afraid of Falling Behind

Dear Girl Afraid of Falling Behind


Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

You’re not alone trust me. There are days where I look around me and wonder “Why don’t I have a big girl job yet?”, or how come I can’t seem to find a job in my field. Sure I have had babysitting and nanny jobs in the past but it’s not the same. I did not go to Brock University for 4 years to come out and apply for waitressing jobs. I am behind, everyone is going forward without me, and I am stuck. I want to scream for the world to slow down so I can quickly move up and not be so far behind. I am almost 24 years old, I should have my life together by now, I should be out of school, having my career dream job, starting a family in the next 5 years but somehow I feel so behind. Why? Don’t you hate that? Your thoughts in your head that won’t shut off even when you close your eyes to sleep and turn off the world around you? There are some days where I feel on top of the world as if no one can get on my level and bring me down. Other days I drown in my thoughts and wonder why I am moving so slow through life when others around me are running through it. It makes me feel like a failure. Welcome to my negative side. She often comes out when there are too many thoughts strolling and wandering through my mind. She’s terrible but doesn’t know it. I hate when she comes out, it’s as if everything I do is not good enough, that I need to try harder in life to succeed. But what if I let her win? What if everything I did I considered a failure in life? I would be miserable. I would hate who I was as an individual and I would be so burnt out from trying too hard. I am not going to let her win. She can’t and doesn’t deserve to. She’s miserable and that’s no way to live. What if I told her to look at things from a different perspective? Then what. 


Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Did you tell her? Let’s take a second to break down those things you see as “failures in life”. So you don’t have a big girl job yet, so what. Sure you want one, but how did you get that degree in the first place? By studying, by sleepless nights, by breakdowns, by endless amounts of presentations and assignments, and by four years of hard work. Now take a step back and ask yourself, “Do you really see that as a failure?”. Or those of you who have tried school and can’t seem to find the right program for yourselves. That’s okay because guess what. I thought I was going to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, and I found out that just wasn’t the right career path for me. So I tried a new route and love the program I am in right now. There are so many different programs out there that how the hell are you supposed to narrow it down and just chose one? It takes time, and I feel like everyone thinks time just runs out like that. Sure we grow older and get wrinkles eventually but that’s years down the road, not tomorrow, not the next day, or the day after that. You have TIME. And we need to reassure ourselves that we do. Even if we take a second out of our days to remind ourselves about this, that’s okay. I have to remind myself that I am not behind in life, that I am not falling behind. In fact, I am taking my time. I am not rushing, I am simply waiting for opportunities to come and find me as if it’s a game. I have been hiding for so long, that I think my hiding spot is too good for opportunities to find me. But then again, everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe in that saying and live by it. So girl afraid of falling behind, you’re only 2 seconds behind, not a year, not 2, not 3. It’s okay to not be on the same route as everyone else, and it’s okay to take that extra time for yourself to figure out what you truly want in life. Decisions are difficult. And it’s okay to take time for them.

Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Focus on you. Focus on which plan you want to do next and stop worrying about the speed around you, you’ll get there. I know it feels like your miles behind but you’re not. Don’t let her win. There are times she’ll try to make you feel like you’re nothing, that you’re a failure, but you are far from that. Look at your accomplishments and everything you’ve done in life, it was not easy to get there, you worked for it. Even though time does not stop and people are continuing on with their lives around you, you go at your pace. Jobs will always be there, school will always be there and you’ve got nothing but time, endless amounts of it. You go do things at your own speed and life will accommodate you, trust me. I believe in you, and you’re never far behind. Things happen for a reason and always remind yourself of that. 

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The meaning behind ” It’s the Little Things in Life that Matter “

The meaning behind ” It’s the Little Things in Life that Matter “


Hello, beauts and happy Saturday! It’s finally fall and I couldn’t be any more excited that it’s finally here. Fall is my favourite season in the whole world, I just love everything about it! From being super cozy , to pumpkins, to plaid and to blanket scarves … it’s just perfect. So I have been pondering and wondering what blog post to do this weekend for you beauts and it came to my attention that I have never shared with you the reason and meaning behind my blogging name! When starting out with blogging, I had to think of a name for my blog and trust me it was super hard. I sat there thinking and thinking and wondering what I was going to name it because I wanted something that screams ” me ” and is something I valued and treasured. Then it hit me. Honestly, I am a very happy go lucky individual and often the littlest things make me happy. I thought ” hey … it’s honestly the little things in life that matter in the world “. It could be looking forward to that coffee in the morning in your favourite mug that makes your morning. It could be throwing on your favourite cozy PJs before you go and watch an amazing romantic movie before bed. It could be receiving a ” good morning beautiful ” text from your significant other. It could be receiving that support from your mom before writing a final for your class. It’s honestly the little things in life that matter.


I used to take things for granted. I thought that everyone was privileged like I was, that everyone got things like I did and was blessed with certain outcomes. But that wasn’t the case . When my stepmom got into a horrible car accident a year ago everything changed. The fact that she was an innocent bystander and passed away two times on the operating table was unimaginable. I really thought to myself “ wow, how could this have happened ?! “. This could have been me. So now at night, I hug my boyfriend a little bit tighter, I make sure I say I love you to my parents through a text, I check in on my sisters every now in then cause you never know. These things are so little yet they matter because you never know if you are going to have a tomorrow. I truly stand by my name even more now and am so grateful for a today let alone a tomorrow if it comes.  I am so blessed to be here, to be alive and I cherish every moment I get being here on earth. I am thankful and proud.

“…enjoy the little things”


I am so thankful to have so many supportive people in my life and never thought my blog would have taken off like it did today. I never thought I would have been given so many opportunities to collaborate and meet so many beautiful kind people. I love reaching out to people to know their stories and their background information. That’s why I chose to start interviewing people. I love hearing about their talents and their amazing careers and goals. It’s the little things that matter in life. So make sure you thank those who are supportive in your life. Tell those you care about how much you love them. Hug those who need a hug and laugh a ton when things are messing up. Just laugh it off. Be happy and proud you’re here that you get to experience new things in life and treasure the great memories you have. Remember, it’s the little things in life that matter in this world.


Be sure to check out my other social media accounts located on my homepage and subscribe to my blogging channel for more upcoming blog posts to come in the near future. Thanks again for all your love and support! xo

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“How The Rustic Feather Came to Be”, Sharing Rustic Home Decor & Furniture by Jennifer Hewitson

“How The Rustic Feather Came to Be”,   Sharing Rustic Home Decor & Furniture by Jennifer Hewitson

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Hello my beauts and welcome to my channel if you are new! My names Alyssa , I am a beauty/ fashion/ lifestyle blogger and I am extremely passionate about what I do for my hobby. If you wish to know more about my blogging channel and hobby, I have done a previous blog post way back in the day that discusses how I got into blogging and what not. One of the most popular questions I get asked is ” Why do you interview or send people questionnaires and reach out to them”? Two reasons. One,  I love searching for people who inspire me and love to share their hard work on my channel. Two, I get to know my guests on a more personal level, learning and taking in new information that I did not know about before. I absolutely love what I  do, and love reaching out to people. I had the absolute pleasure and honor of working with someone who I have looked up to and admired over the past year, and her work is stunning. You can tell she puts so much dedication into her work and takes her time ensuring every order is perfect. I had reached out to the beautiful Jennifer Hewistson form, “The Rustic Feather” located in Simcoe Ontario, and she agreed to collaborate with me on this blog post, sharing her story behind her crafts and products. I was more than happy once she reached back out to me and happily responded with , “that would be absolutely amazing”. Even though I am a low key blogger, and some people have never heard of me before, that does not stop me from reaching out to beautiful souls like Jennifer and showing off her amazing talent to you beauts!


Jennifer is a wife and a mother of 3 beautiful children, two sons ages 20 and 5, and a daughter age 2.  She was a single mom for a lot of years who had struggled with trying to make ends meat. She spent some years working 2 or three jobs to support herself as well as her son at the time. Jennifer expresses, ” I was a welder for 8 years, until the company I worked for went out of business. I decided to take the opportunity and go back to school. I went to college for Policing. While in my final year of college, I found out I was pregnant with my second son. I have an extremely supportive husband and we decided that I would stay home and raise our children. Because I am a hands on person, and cannot sit still, I had to get back into the workforce. When our 2nd son turned 2, I applied for a job at a Pharmacy for a cosmetics manager position. There I excelled at customer service. I built lasting relationships with customers and maintained sales. I was in that position for just over a year when my husband and I found out I was pregnant with our daughter”. 

While on Mat leave with her daughter Jennifer felt lost. She had moved to a beautiful farm and there were so many birds to look at. Jennifer states, “I asked my husband if he could teach me how to build a bird house so that I could watch the birds build a nest and have their own families.He taught me how to use the saws and other tools. It was awesome! I felt at home in the shop! So once I built one birdhouse, other people wanted bird houses. That’s how it all started. A bird house”.


I was really curious as to what inspires Jennifer when it comes to her crafts and products. Jennifer explains, “Honestly, I get inspired by the most random things. Most of the time, it’s from “proving a point” to my husband. He is always trying to burn my scrap wood or throw out my “junk”. So I like to come up with creative ideas on how to use all my scraps or junk. Hence, why I started making my rustic feathers. He swore that no one would be interested in them, but little does he know, I have 62 orders for them…lol”. I find that hilarious and such a married thing to do, to “prove a point”, but hey Jennifer, you’re point was proven, you are one talented lady!

I think one question that lingers in our minds is how Jennifer learned to make her crafts. Personally, I am great at making stick figures, but that is about it! So tell me, Jennifer, how did you learn? Jennifer explains, “My husband taught me. He also has a brilliant creative mind. We feed off each other most times when it comes to designing. Although he’s a horrible teacher, I watched him. Learned his tricks and tried to do them myself. With a lot of practice, I’ve finally started to impress him!”. There you go! Practice makes perfect!


I know a lot of crafters can not live without certain craft essentials and I was super curious to know what Jennifer could not live without. Jen expressed the importance of her mitre saw, table saw and sander. Jennifer says, “When I first started doing this, I bought the cheapest tools possible. Then I learned very quickly you get what you pay for. I saved up my money and bought better tools. Better tools equal better products. So when it comes to quality, always spend the money!”. Great words of advice to follow for fellow crafters out there that’s for sure! I need all the help I could get if I were to start crafting, so better ask the expert here beauts!

“…I like the shabby chic look mixed with rustic of course”

How could you describe your style besides “Rustic”? “I love clean. Clean lines, clean décor. I like the Shabby chic look mixed with rustic of course”.


I know a lot of people always look up to someone who maybe inspires them or people who we admire their work. I know as a beauty blogger I have my certain admirers that I look up to and follow on social media sites. I then asked Jennifer who she looked up to. Jennifer says, “I follow a few builders on Instagram like Mac N Wood and Queen B Home. I love them both”.  Going off of this question and the concept of being inspired, I also wanted to ask Jennifer where she creates her beautiful crafts and products. She emphasized “everywhere!”. “Well I used to do my work in the dining room, then I moved my son to college and took over his room….sorry Jake! My husband also had a man cave in the garage. Well now, the wall has been taken down and the shop is now in full production….sorry hunny!”. Looks like you are working hard everywhere Jennifer!

When do you feel the most creative? “In the mornings. I love to sit in my favourite chair in the morning and look over my day. What I need to get done, what I’d like to do, etc.”. I wish I could strive to be that morning person like you Jen but it is super hard for me not going to lie. I would absolutely love to be considered that morning person… I am going to have to take some tips and methods from Jen that’s for sure!

Do you work by yourself when making your crafts or do you receive help? “I use to do it all by myself, but now I have such an amazing group of people that help me. My husband, of course, does still help with the big builds. My good friend Amanda helps me with scheduling orders and keeps me on track. My mother in law comes and helps me with sanding and staining. And my friend Brittany will come over and help me with stenciling. Also if I need him, Cody who is my husband’s friend will help with building/framing.So yes, I am truly grateful for all these people. They know when I am stressed and they step up and help out whenever I need them”.


Jennifer goes onto explain that her job can be very stressful at times, but she does enjoy what she does. Jennifer emphasized that she is the type of person who hates saying, “No”, to people. Jennifer goes on to states, “but with this business and being in high demand, I tend to take on way too much. I stay up very late, sometimes until 2 or 3am and wake up at 6am. Being a home business everyone thinks it is sunshine and roses, well sometimes it’s more like a dark and overcast day. People constantly coming to your home for pick ups or to place orders. I do enjoy speaking to each and every one of my customers. I have established numerous friendships over the last 2 years because of my little business. I just wish that some people would understand that I am a Mother first. My children always come first. Just recently I closed my custom orders for Christmas because I did not want to be up late Christmas Eve working on orders. I need to spend more time with my littles”. I think that is super important you stated that Jennifer, it is crucial that we don’t forget who we are as individuals when we are caught up in our careers or hobbies.

I know everyone has been dying to know what Jennifer sells at “The Rustic Feather”, and I am dying to know more about the products myself! So please go ahead and share Jen!


“I mainly do custom work. Pinterest is so hot right now. So my customers usually send me pictures from there. I always say to my customers, yes I can make that but it will not be exact. Out of respect for the maker, I need to make it my own. I will not copy.”

I heard that you were selling some of your products are some stores in Port Dover called The Back Shed, and Ty-Kobee Tea &Coffee co, do these stores sell similar products to yours, and how did you make this decision? “Rhonda, owner of Ty-Kobee Tea & Coffee contacted me asking if I knew of any local artisans that would be interested in putting their products in their store. Because of the business, I am in and because I have held craft shows on my property, I have quite a large amount of connections with people in the business. With much thought and what she offered me, I decided to jump all over her offer. Their shop is in a prime location in Port Dover with a lot of foot traffic. So I decided it was time to step away from my normal “custom work only” and branch out into more of creating items that showcase my talents. My items will be available for purchase in their store starting October 1st. Although Rhonda has already contacted me saying people are asking for my items!”  That’s amazing Jennifer, I am so proud of you and all your hard work. Everything is paying off for you and that makes me so happy to be. From a single mother who was struggling, to being known throughout different cities, you go girl!


For those beauts out there who are curious as to what her most famous product is, you guessed it! Her maps! Jennifer explains, “I posted a giveaway back in January for a map. That giveaway hit over 164 thousand people. Because of the HUGE response, I gave away 2! Since that giveaway, I received 97 orders to date for that map…..INSANE!! I am having a giveaway right now on my page, which is showing the same results”. That’s amazing Jennifer! I for sure entered the giveaway so fingers crossed! Jennifer’s work is absolutely stunning, so make sure you enter the giveaway before it ends! Be sure to check out her page on Facebook, “The Rustic Feather”, and follow the steps in order to be qualified!


I think one of the most intriguing and interesting questions that I had come up with was how did Jennifer come up with the name “The Rustic Feather”, and her story is just beautiful. Jennifer expresses, ” When I was a little girl, my father and I would always sit outside in the mornings and listen to the birds and drink our “coffee”. My “coffee” was a mug with milk. My father would sit and sing to the birds. Call the cardinals in. I too would try and call them, but I wasn’t as good as him. My father past away in my arms 4 years ago. It was such a huge loss to me, since he and I were inseparable.When my husband and I moved to the farm, I found myself always sitting outside in the mornings with my coffee (which was actually coffee now) and watching the birds. Singing the Cardinal song and bringing them in. When I started my little bird house business I knew the name had to have something to do with birds. So I came up with “The Rustic Feather”. How interesting is this! I would have never guessed this story and I absolutely love the background information behind the name. Absolutely beautiful.


So by finishing up this blog, I wanted to ask a few remaining questions to Jennifer to sum up our collaboration!

Where do you see your work and “The Rustic Feather”, 5 years from now? “As my husband would say “GLOBAL”!! Lol. I’m not entirely sure.I hope I’m still doing what I love 5 years from now”. I hope you are still doing what you love too Jennifer! Your business is blooming and you have over 7, 000 followers on Facebook which is amazing! You are going to be global in no time that’s for sure!

“The items you are creating for them are items that they will love and cherish, and hang in their homes for years to come”

Lastly, I love gathering some words of advice from people in their profession and words of wisdom they can pass on to others who are starting out in the industry. Jennifer states, “Honestly, take it slow. Take the time to listen to people. Do not think of them as dollar signs. The items you are creating for them are items that they will love and cherish, and hang in their homes for years to come. Take pride in your work. Never compromise quality. If it takes you a bit longer, people will wait”.


I just want to take the time to personally thank Jennifer, for sharing her personal and informative words of advice to us about her beautiful work from “The Rustic Feather”. You can honestly tell a lot about a person through their questionnaire, and I can honestly say Jennifer is a truly humble and kind soul to be around. Hoping to keep in touch in the future! Be sure to check out her Facebook at, “The Rustic Feather”, and check out her items that are present in the stores listed above in Port Dover. Also be sure to follow her Instagram page at “The Rustic Feather”, for beautiful posts that may spark your interest! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog post, I hope you learned a lot about the Rustic Feather! Be sure to follow my social media accounts located on my home page for more blogs to come in the near future! Take Care!

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Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind 

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind 


Hey beauts! Yes I know it’s probably been about a million years since the last time I blogged and so much has been going on! I thought “hey…why not tell you guys through one of my famous dear letters?” And that if someone is struggling like I was and am , that maybe this letter can help you out just a tad bit. I also want to thank a person who inspired me to write this letter & reached out to me.

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind,

It’s not easy, this thing they call life. I remember not having to have a single worry in the world, just having to dread your younger sisters running in and jumping on you in the morning. Close your eyes. Now you’re an adult. You’re here, it’s real. I remember they didn’t teach you this in school. They didn’t tell you that adulting would be like arts and crafts time. I wasn’t prepared. I still am not prepared. I am 23. I know that must mean that I have it all together but I really don’t. I know how to tie my shoes, I know how to be a good role model, I know how to write an essay ( when I like the topic), but school/parents/friends don’t prepare you for your own personal journey ahead.

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind,

I know you’re tired. You’re stressed with school. You’re mentally and physically exhausted. No one can really tell and know how you are feeling except for yourself. When they ask you what’s wrong you simply state, ” just stressed out “. But they don’t know that you just bombed a test for the first time in forever, that you’re having relationship troubles and don’t know where to turn, that you know you won’t be able to enjoy your weekend because you start placement Monday, so your anxiety is eating you alive. But did you personally look at the big picture? Did you get up this morning and look in the mirror? Did you take a deep breath, throw all your worries in the garbage and think “today’s the day I make a change ?”. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath, let out all our worries and just give ourselves a pat on the back. It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to live. We are so hard on ourselves that before we know it, we will be gone. I want to look at the bigger picture. That I went back to school after taking a year off to continue my education. That after school, I will get a career even if it takes me a little bit and you know what? That’s okay. 


Dear Girl in a Mixed-Up Mind,

Did you laugh today? Did you reach out to your friends and acknowledge every aspect and characteristic they hold? They are your support system, and will always be there for you even through these hard times. Reach out to them. Tell them what is going on in that brain of yours. I’m sure if you state “I’m crazy”, they will want to be crazy with you. They will want to endure that with you.  Don’t lose touch with them, I know they live far away but it’s only a car ride away. It’s life, but you make it work. 

I know you stopped going to the gym because you’re stressed out and that’s ok. So what? Take a break, figure out you and your present life, figure out your short and long term goals, figure out YOU. I know you’re hard on yourself because you’re gaining some weight, so what. What are a few pounds here and there? When you are ready, you will go back and push yourself like you used to. But right now, it’s not the right time and I think you know that. You need to have the proper mindset, and I know you’re living in a mixed up mind now. That won’t last forever. Take a few deep breaths right now, run a bath, play some of your favourite music and calm down. It will be okay, it’s always okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it at that moment.

Life is precious. Life is eventful. Life is unexpected. Life is a journey, it’s YOUR journey. Mixed up or not you are here, breathing and alive.

Tomorrow is a new day, decide what changes you want to make and start making that progress. It only gets better if you do something about it. Don’t worry Girl in a Mixed-Up Mind, you’re not the only one.

Summer Makeup Tutorial featuring LaurensLipGlossary! 

Summer Makeup Tutorial featuring LaurensLipGlossary! 


Hello, gorgeous!

My name is Lauren Will! I’m a licensed esthetician, fashion lover, and the girl behind LaurensLipGlossary.com! My blog is getting quite the makeover and won’t be back online for another week, so this does make for the perfect time to do some guest blogging.

I started following Alyssa’s blog earlier this year. As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I felt so connected to her and what she had to say. Another thing we have in common? We are both passionate about beauty and makeup!
One of the reasons I love makeup so much is that it can change the way I feel entirely, even if I’m having the most brutal day! It can be as simple as putting on my favorite lipstick, taking a breath, and reminding myself that I’m a boss bitch ;)! Seeya later, anxious thoughts!
In Vancouver where I live, it’s cold and rainy today. No need to worry though, this makeup look has got me feeling anything but gloomy! The bronzey eyes and coral lip are giving me major summer vacay vibes.

KEY PRODUCTS
EYES
MAC Paint Pot “Soft Ocre” – This will make sure those shadows stay put all day long.

Artist Couture Diamond Glow Powder “Lickable”

MAC Eyeshadow “Saddle”

FACE
Loreal Lumi Foundation – I mix in a few drops of the Loreal Lumi Liquid Glow N201 for an ultra dewy complexion.

Make Up For Ever Pro Sculpting Duo “02”

LIPS

Clarins Lip Perfecting Base – I find when I use this, the lipstick placed overtop always looks extra pigmented and stays put way longer!

NYX Ombre Lip Duo “Peaches and Cream”


Does makeup also have a way of changing your mood? Let me know what you think in the comments!
Thanks again to Alyssa for having me! You can find me on Instagram (@LaurensLipGlossary) and my blog, LaurensLipGlossary.com!


 Xoxo Lauren Will

Hello Summer 2017! Featuring Shannon Wilkerson xo

Hello Summer 2017! Featuring Shannon Wilkerson xo

Summer is fast approaching and if you’re like a lot of women, the moment you saw a sign that the weather was changing from winter to spring you immediately started to work on your “summer body“. You started eating burgers without the bun and having just one cookie instead of 6 ( or is that just me?). You may have even tried a body wrap, The Green Smoothie Cleanse, which is amazing or some other quick remedy to get your body “snatched” for summer. Some of us got gym memberships. Oh how I dislike the gym, but I suffer through it to look great on the beach. 

There’s nothing wrong with being the best possible you, but who determines what that looks like and who’s to say you’re not already your best you? Why do we torture ourselves with the worlds standard of beauty instead of loving who we are exactly how we are? Maybe you don’t need to drop 30 pounds. Maybe you’re perfectly healthy the way that you are now and isn’t that what’s important? I know Skinny Minnies who can’t walk up a flight of stairs without becoming out of breath. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with self improving. Do what makes you feel good, but do it for the right reasons. It should always be about you, how you feel and your health, not what the world or even your family feels you should do or be. 
Regardless of season I’m always very conscious of what looks good on my body. This is even more important during the summer because we naturally dress less. It’s hot! You may just need to find clothes that flatter your body so that you feel more confident about your look when you present yourself to the world. You may have the perfect legs for mini skirts and hot pants as my mom calls them, but maybe you don’t. Maybe you would feel more comfortable in a long flowing skirt that covers your legs. Or maybe you’re comfortable with what others may call your imperfections and put the hot pants on anyway. As long as you look and feel good, continue to create your own slay. Just make sure you’re summer looks are what really looks great on you! 


Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself to fit someone else’s mold just because summer is approaching. Be the best you yeah, but do it for you! If you like makeup, put some on! Try out new hairstyles and buy a cute summer time outfit. Heck try one of those monthly subscription companies that send you clothes and shoes like Stitch Fix, Gwynnie Bee, Justfab ect. Step out with your confidence on full display. Head out to the cook out, pool party, day party ect and enjoy a freeing no pressure summer! 


Shannon Wilkerson, Founder

The Shanni Wilke Company 

& We Shine 

http://www.weshinenetwork.com 

http://www.meetup.com/weshinenetwork 

http://www.facebook.com/weshinenetwork 

1-855-742-6767
Thanks again Shannon for being apart of my opening summer blogs! Be sure to follow Shannon up above and support her journey through blogging 🙂 Be sure to follow my other social media accounts to stay updated with the latest blogs ! Xo

Tattoo Number Two 

Tattoo Number Two 


Hey beauts ! Hope you are all doing well and had a fabulous weekend! I had an absolute blast this weekend as there was so much packed into one fun-filled three days. I wanted to show you guys and update you’s with what I did this Saturday ! Guys, I got my second tattoo! I wanted to give you guys a quick little update as to how it went and what the tattoo exactly looks like! So we went to St.Catharines and got it done with two of my closest and best friends in life. We all wanted matching tattoos because we are classic bitches like that.


My one friend went first cause she hates anxiously waiting which was completely fine. Hers was around 45 minutes , then it was my other friends then! They both got beautiful thigh tattoos , and I was the odd one out and chose my back tattoo. Guys …. when it was my turn I was completely freaking out! I had to have my one best friend come in with me and hold my hand….pathetic I know. Mine was around 40 minutes I would say ! It hurt so badly. Do not recommend back tattoos unless you have high pain tolerance. That is all.



The finished look was amazing. I could not have asked for anything better. It means so much to me too and that’s the thing about tattoos, the more personalized the better.  For our tattoos we all got some sort of a compass on ourselves with the saying , “no matter where”. This tattoo honestly means the world to me, not only because it was with my two best friends, but the meaning behind it.  No matter where the three of us are in the world, we will always support each other, love each other unconditionally, and cherish each others presence.  I will always cherish this tattoo, and whenever a rough day approaches, I will look in the mirror at my tattoo and instantly smile. I love my friends and this gorgeous tat.

I hope you guys enjoyed this short and sweet blog post on the newest addition to the tat family. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page to get the latest updates!

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Social Anxiety Update ! (Post Therapy)

Social Anxiety Update ! (Post Therapy)


Hey beauts ! I have not written to you guys in a bit now describing and sharing my social anxiety progress with you’s. If you are new to my channel I have been struggling with social anxiety for a long period of time now . Recently I was involved with a social anxiety group therapy program teaching us different cognitive behavioural techniques and skills to help cope . I also had an exposure hierarchy that I was working on , where I would expose myself to my biggest fears which provoke my anxiety and trigger it . 

So it has now been approximately two months passed since I have finished my group therapy sessions and I just wanted to give you guys a little bit of an update as to how I  am doing and coping lately . A lot has been going on lately , especially this month. To my surprise I actually have been working quite a bit on my exposure hierarchy without even knowing . Not going to lie, I haven’t been quite on the ball like before planning out exposures and what is going to happen each day or what I am going to work on. Life gets in the way and that is okay. But writing this post and sharing more progress I have come to the conclusion that I have made some huge progress over the past couple of weeks. 

1) Job Interviews– On my exposure hierarchy list, I had written down that I want to remain more calm and comfortable when it comes to job interviews. Recently I had an interview , a Skype interview, which was completely new to me , on a volunteer blogging position. Of course I was psyching myself out and was debating whether just to cancel this interview or not go online. I was impressed with myself as I pushed through my nerves , and managed to attend the online interview which was 30 minutes long. The interview involved two people listening and watching me speak as they asked questions in regards to my blogging and my blogging channel. It was very easy but still nerve racking for me. So that was that ! I ended up getting the position which I was super stoked about. If some of you are curious it’s for the blogging company ” INKspire“, which I am going to start soon! If I would have let my social anxiety get the best of me , I would not have had the opportunity to get this position. I am happy I stuck to my guns! 


I also have some interviews coming up for part time jobs as I am heading back to school. This will be nerve racking for me for many reasons. Within my job now I hardly have to speak to any people aside from the mom, dad and grandparents. Now getting a “normal“job , I will have to push out of my comfort zone and associate with more people one on one. Fingers crossed everything goes okay ! I got this ! My coping statement that I often use through hard times like this is ,” you are good at interviews, you got this “. 

2) Going back to school– So as some of you may know I decided to go back to school! I applied to Mohawk college for social service work , so fingers crossed I get in! I have been wanting to do this program for a while now , so I am super excited I got the guts to jump on it! This process has not been easy. I had to inform my boss that I needed to leave and put in my two weeks as I will be going back to school. Quitting a job is never easy, especially the confrontational part about it. I would rather just send a text but we all know that’s not professional whatsoever….. sigh. But I managed to do it, and phew I am still here today , can’t win this time anxiety! I also managed to fill out my whole application without mammas help (that’s pretty big considering I hate doing school work forms). I will be attending my program hopefully next week ! I know my nerves will kick in as I will have to speak infront of people , but I know that I can do this. Just like that two minute presentation I did in group therapy. I did that , I can do this .


3) Speaking on the phone – Recently since applying to school, I have been on the phone with people trying to sort out my application. What shocked me the most was most times I did not hesitate to pick up the phone, I just went right away and did what I needed to do. I have found that speaking on the phone is not as bad as I thought , and I can do it more naturally now. Not to say the anxiety is completely gone, but I can cope and manage it better than before. 


As you can see I have been slowly working on my exposure hierarchy without really even noticing it . I think the biggest challenge for me will be school, since I was so used to have classes with friends at Brock University, that now I have to start fresh and brand new.  This will be hard for me but I am excited because I was informed there was a program you can register at Mohawk called the “Accessible learning centre”, where they accommodate your needs if you have learning disabilities or mental health issues going on. They can extend your assignments, move you to a separate room to write your exams and so forth. This honestly eases my anxiety a ton and makes me feel way more comfortable with my decision to go to Mohawk. All I have to do is just register for this program.  So that was the update that I had for you guys ! Let me know if any of you guys had tried out an anxiety group therapy program or not , I am curious how it worked or is going for you! If you have any questions in regards to this don’t hesitate to ask! I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week, be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page for the latest updates! 

Dear Girl In An Abusive Relationship 

Dear Girl In An Abusive Relationship 


You fit in an 83% percentile category. I bet you wish that category was ones who have loving relationship and are respected as wives, mothers, and women. I wish I was lying dear girl in an abusive relationship, trust me. Sadly you were the vulnerable victim chosen to be tortured and your strength tested. Are you strong enough? This isn’t what I am asking YOU but I know you ask yourself this as soon as you wake up til when your puffy eyes close. Can you answer this? Better yet, I will help you answer that lingering question. I know you are. Remember the time when your grandpa passed on, and you were there every second for your family, or the time you started figuring out your life plan for yourself? That is called strength, and that is something you have and will always carry with you. But he makes you question your strength, and why is that? Because you’re a slut for talking to that other guy, or you’re a bitch just because? Do you honestly believe that? For one second , girl in an abusive relationship, picture me waving my magic wand over your life. Imagine him not there. Do you still think you’re that slut? I know you are probably thinking, “yes I am, I should not have even spoken to the guy”. You are your own person, you can speak to both guys and girls. You can be sociable instead of hiding in your room under those cold blankets. Wipe those tears away. I need you to find and help dig for that strength buried beneath you. I know you have it, you’re a beautiful girl nowhere near a slut, that I know. I miss you. I miss your smile and goofy laugh. Most importantly, I miss your free spirit, and outgoing personality. I remember always making each other laugh. Now I am the one trying to crack a smile from you, anything. I remember everything.


Dear girl in an abusive relationship,

Remember the time when you used to think so highly of yourself , that you didn’t need a man in your life. Remember now , how you sit there and think to yourself ,” why am I so stupid?”, or ” I don’t think I can do this on my own without him”. If you were stupid you would not have gotten to where you are today , you would not be that lovely girl hidden underneath those lies, and you have survived life without him before you met him. You can do things on your own. You went to appointments on your own, you went to school on your own, & you have your own friends. You are an independent person and you’re own person, he isn’t you. His name isn’t yours and he doesn’t have your strength, that’s the strength to not insult others, treat others with disrespect and betlittle people. You should be proud of who you are, I know I am. Even though she’s hidden, she will come out. In order for her to come out , you need to give yourself some credit. You’re not a failure for being that vulnerable victim. You’re not a failure for choosing the wrong one. And you’re not a failure for not changing your ways earlier. Today’s a new day. It’s time for YOU to shine. Today’s your day. Life is too short to stay stuck one other day in this life you did not wish upon. Life is too short to explain to your kids that daddy is not a nice man, and that you hope better for them. I know you want to show them everything in life, and to encourage their growth and development over time. You don’t need a man discouraging you, or even them for that matter. I know you would hurt inside seeing that. I know you don’t want them to go through what you did , so let’s change this. You and me together. Let’s get started on this journey one step at a time.  Those endless nights where you couldn’t sleep because you started to believe the names he would call you. Those days where you couldn’t spend time with family because he was jealous and wanted you for himself. Those days are gone. This is a new chapter and guess what? It’s not too late. It’s never too late. I want you to know I am proud that you have the courage to start this journey , even though you’re unsure. I don’t know where this path will take you but I promise you it will be better than the one you were on for years now. I promise. I know there are more cons in your relationship than pros, that you are certain. 


I just want to give you a few reminders before you start this journey . 

1) You are strong enough to take on any battle. You are getting your life on track, you have a job , you are here.

2) This journey may cause you numerous amounts of anxiety, anxiety which may doubt your decisions. Remember why you’re here , why you started this. Face your anxiety, this is about you not him.

3) Your body is your canvas and it’s yours. You do what you want with it , but don’t let someone claim it’s theirs. 

4) Your happiness is the only thing that matters. You need to put yourself before others and truly think about your needs and wants.

5) Noone in their right mind should belittle you , you’re an individual with a name not ” stupid” or ” faggot“. Remember that name on your birth certificate ? That’s you, not who he thinks you are you imagines you to be. 

6) Everyone is here to support you. Often we feel alone in these circumstances, that is never the case. You are never alone . There’s always a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand around the corner and ears to listen. 

7) It’s not too late to start a new life. Don’t live in the past , start fresh , you got this. When starting your new journey let go of your grudges and frustration, it’s time to let go.

8) You’re beautiful. Often we need to be reminded after someone destroys us mentally and physically that you’re beautiful on the inside and outside. For someone who offers so much to this world you deserve way more credit than that . That’s why I’m here. 


9) Think positively . You got this . I know your brain is full of negative thoughts at the moment, it’s probably overwhelming . Trying to have that positive mindset will help you along this journey , more than you know . 
10) F*** him. You’re better than him. You need to keep repeating this to yourself and this upbeat thoughts. You managed once without him, you can do it again.

Dear girl in an abusive relationship,

I am with you on this journey. I want you to understand that , and so are your friends and family. Make this change today , why wait another minute. Life is so short to let him waste YOUR minute . He’s not worth it . Let someone come into your life who treasures your dimples, the way you get nervous around big groups of people as he makes you feel comfortable, and the way you chuckle when you laugh. Let him take in all your flaws and treasure all your traits. Let him find you . He will trust me , he already told me he’s on his way , he will be there when you least expect it. Do you trust me? I know your trust issues are high , they have every right to be. But you can trust me when I say everything will be okay . You will be okay.


Dear Anxious Girl Afraid to Ask for Help

Dear Anxious Girl Afraid to Ask for Help



Hey my beauts , hope you all are having a wonderful week so far ! I keep forgetting it’s a four day week so pretty much have been confused all week as to what day it is , living on the edge a little bit. As you guys know , I have been doing more inspiring stories lately just because I see people each day who would use a little pick me up here and there. I really enjoy writing these types of blog posts , you can actually find more of the ones that I have completed early on, maybe last year on my blogging page ? I have recently gotten back into the swing of it and some of you have really enjoyed these types of posts. This one is for those who are anxious to admit that something needs to change, that “I” need help and are too afraid to ask for it. 


Dear anxious girl afraid to ask for help,

I’ve been there. In fact, some days I am still there. It’s probably one of the hardest things to admit to yourself , to literally sit down and say out loud ” I need help”. I have been in your shoes. I have been where you are all through university, struggling and trying to hide that I had a few dark secrets. It’s pretty easy to hide things that you don’t want to face , trust me , anxiety and I have been playing this game for years . But finally , I did it. Enough was enough. Sure I could’ve  taken that bottle of Tylenol that was spilled all over my bed, sure I could’ve locked my door so my roommate didn’t have to burst in, and sure I could’ve been silent on the phone with my mom. But what would this all have solved? Would this have made life easier, better ? No. In fact , that would have made me selfish and bitter towards life. There’s way too much to live for , I didn’t want anxiety taking that away from me . He wasn’t going to take that away from me . It’s okay to ask for help anxious girl. I was that anxious girl too . 


I know what you’re thinking, ” what will others think of me?“. Your true friends, the ones who hold your hair back when your puking after too much vodka, the ones who let you cry on their shoulder and the ones who encourage you to smile will understand. But what about the rest of the world you may ask? What about them. I bet you they have their own problems going on , maybe even worse than yours. My therapist once told me , ” don’t let anxiety take over your life, it’s okay to admit that changes need to take place“. That is exactly why I participated in a group that took place every Wednesday evening. That is why I would tense up before 6 o’clock hit. And that is why I would be exhausted coming home around 8 o’clock that day. Mentally exhausted because I pushed myself. I admitted to the internet, friends and family , but most importantly to myself that I needed help. And I am okay. Sure I may get anxious here and there, I may have to miss work once a month to see a therapist, I may have to take 3 mandatory pills a day for my anxiety , but I am okay.

Dear anxious girl afraid to ask for help, 

I know you will be okay too . If you need me I am here to talk to. I know you’re scared and I was too. In fact anxious girl, I strongly encourage you to get that help you need today. Don’t let your problems or underlying issues drag behind you all your life. That is no place to live. That’s not living, that is simply getting by. I don’t want you to just get by, I want you to laugh uncontrollably until you pee your pants, I want you to be cheering on your sisters at their talent show , I want you to love life.  At one point I didn’t love life, but admitting I need that help was one of the biggest accomplishments I have ever made. Now that I have asked for help, I am more comfortable asking for help when it comes to other things. When it comes to my eating habits I am getting the help , and guess what. I am okay. I know you can do this , it takes two seconds out of your day to finally listen to yourself. Friends have always told you you’re a good listener right? I heard you’re very good at it, so show me. Show me you can do this and show yourself you can do this . 

My names Alyssa Hotrum, I am 23 years old . I have underlying eating disorders and am diagnosed with general anxiety as well as social anxiety . I admitted this to myself, can you ?