Good morning beautiful souls! I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend either filled with relaxation or some fun filled plans! My plans unfortunately had to be postponed this Saturday, wasn’t feeling the absolute greatest sadly...tis the season! I am not really a huge fan of the cold! It involves loads of sicknesses and being chilly all the time! Makes me just want to hibernate….anyone with me!?
“…let’s stay cozy this winter!”
Although, something that does help me get through the cold season is cute outdoor attire, am I right? I am super excited to share this Canadian Company with you beauts! This company is from Vancouver, British Columbia and they are called, “Gingersnap’s Crochet”. This company provides handmade stylish crochet goods…. and let me just say talented this business is! They provide stunning toques from sizes 3 months to adults (Perfect for styling your kiddos in!)
I don’t know about you guys but I adore hats for the winter season! I think hats look super stylish and they are just so cozy! What I absolutely adore about these toques is that they come in different beautiful colours and you can take off the pompom if you wish for some! The colours look incredibly cozy! I received my toque in the shade, “Marble” which can be paired with so many outfits/outerwear apparel. These toques retail in store, depending on size, for around $48.13.
The second item that I can not get enough of are these adorable cozies for your hot drinks! I am a huge lover of anything related to hearts so this had me at first sight! I received my cozy design with a huge white heart in the middle and a grey background. What I love about these and the toques is that there are so many stunning colours to choose from as well! There is another design for the cozies too which is a ton of small hearts all over it… just as adorable as this one! These retail for $13.75 in store. The cozies are super cute to bring to work when grabbing your Starbucks or your timmies! I love anything related to fashion, including my hot drinks! Are you the same!?
“…it’s cuddle weather!”
This beautiful store also sells adorable winter headbands, crochet storage baskets (super cute!), and even scrunchies! I highly recommend checking them out if you haven’t already! You can find them on Instagram at “@gingersnapscrochet”, or follow their website at “www.gingersnapcrochet.etsy.com”. I want to personally thank this amazing company for allowing me to collaborate with them! You guys are amazing, and you have such gorgeous pieces! Be sure to stay cozy this season Beauts & grab your winter attire!
Happy Monday my sweets! It’s Monday and it’s the start to a fresh new week! It’s time to set some goals for yourself & stay motivated! I know Mondays can be a buzzkill for a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be if you create a good mindset! Remember, if you are determined to have a good day and try your best to stay positive, you will have a good day! Trying to stay clear of negative thoughts will help you out a ton! Creating a more positive environment will help you feel more energized and optimistic.
Speaking of being more optimistic and creating positive vibes, I recently collaborated with such an upbeat and inspirational company called, “The Sankalpa Project”. This company focuses on yoga and meditation products! I can not begin to express how much of a beautiful company this is and what they have to offer! To start off, they are a Canadian Company from Mississauga Ontario, which is amazing! I absolutely love supporting Canadian Local companies!
About the Company
The Sankalpa Project is a company based on inspiration and creation. They base their products on the concepts of mindfulness, holistic lifestyles and being grounded which I absolutely adore! The company uses a lot of eco-friendly materials and is built on their own trifold Sankalpa vow which is to celebrate the whole self , create wellness and to have a positive impact on the environment. I am all for these values of their company and really love the bases and meaning behind their name as well (San- born from the heart and Kalpa-over time). One thing that stood out to me about this beautiful company is that a portion of their annual sales is donated to a non-profit organization. This year, the company is supporting “Charity Water”, and for every 10 products sold, a tree is planted. I can not emphasize how amazing this is, especially when it comes to the environment and helping out. The Sankalpa Project strongly believes in supporting women which is great, and their sewed items are actually made by local women in the community. Their community vision also extends to free yoga classes as well as free yoga workshops which is incredible! The company strongly believes in supporting the environment and helping to reduce as much waste as possible. What I really love about this company is that each product is made with an ambulance of wholeheartedness and love.
About the Products
I am so blessed & fortunate to share that I am a Brand Ambassador for this amazing company! I can not express how whole hearted and accepting this company is, and I could not be more proud to become apart of this project! I received such a beautiful package in the mail and it honestly brought tears to my eyes when I read the letter that came with it. I am so honoured and fortunate to have been given this opportunity that I am about to share with you beauts! I received a stunning bracelet in my package that believe it or not…. was inspired by me and my Instagram feed! I could not believe it! This bracelet is actually on the company’s website right now and is labelled the “much love” bracelet. I can not get over this, I am beyond grateful and so thankful! The warm colours of the bracelet are inspired by my feed! This bracelet is inspired by the need for love & speaking with love. As you beauts know, this has always been my saying for as long as I can remember, and I can not express how special this is! There are two gemstones that are featured on this bracelet which are Aquamarine and Tiger Eye. Aquamarine is a Stone that is calming, soothing, inspires trust and letting go. The stone “Tiger Eye” is a Stone of protection which helps focus the mind and helps promote mental clarity. The bracelet is absolutely stunning and I can’t get over how gorgeous the shades are! This bracelet retails in store for $24.00.
“…having the right mindset & attitude can literally change your life”
The next product that I received in my beautiful package was this super stretchy cute headband! This is the “Magenta Cotton Headband”, which is super comfortable yet stylish at the same time! This is perfect when doing yoga/meditating or even just going out & about! This looks gorgeous with your hair up or down too! I love how there is a knot on the headband which you can move to the front or the back! There are also so many different colours to choose from which is great! This product retails for $16.00 on the website!
Beauts….. I am super excited about the next two products I am going to show you guys! You guys know that I love anything that has adorable sayings or quotes. I think reading decorations with a cute quote on them can brighten your mood in two seconds, am I right?! I have lots of cute sayings located around my room and even in my house for that matter! Did I mention they are on all my coffee mugs as well? Being surrounded by so much positivity really makes for a great day and creates such a positive mindset! I received these adorable coasters/ornaments that are so stinking cute! These retail for $4.99 and come in so many different designs and sayings.
“Rinse, Receive & Rediscover…”
I am so beyond grateful to say that I am part of this amazing family and one heck of a company! This company also has so many other beautiful products located on their website, you have to go and check them out! I want to personally thank “The Sankalpa Project” for allowing me to become a Brand Ambassador as well as allowing me to collaborate with them! You guys are absolutely amazing! Thank you for being such amazing individuals, and for being so real with your company! Supporting you guys 100% of the way! Thank you again for everything!
Also! Be sure to use my discount code, “muchlove10” at checkout for 10% off your purchase! You can find their Instagram page at “@thesankalpaproject” and also check out their website at http://www.thesankalpaproject.ca!
I hope you guys have a fantastic day! Remember to stay positive! Xo
Hey there beauts! Happy Saturday! I am so glad that it is finally the weekend thank god. How was everyone’s week been? Have any big plans for the weekend? I am heading to a pumpkin patch this weekend with the boyfriend and I can not wait to take some cute fall pictures! Have to take pictures or it didn’t happen right? (let’s be real now). I am also going to enjoy myself and put my feet up while I have my glass of veno, I deserve it and you deserve to relax as well!
So over the past couple of months, I have been getting some new followers which is absolutely unreal! Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to get to know me! If there’s two things you should know about me it’s that I adore my glass of wine on the weekend , and that I love love LOVE my jewelry. I think that is why I absolutely adore being a girl is that you get to doll yourself up, ,explore fashion and try spice up your wardrobe! These are the mad highlights that make me so incredibly happy you don’t even know! I am talking about glitter galore, anything pink, a million bags, you get the picture! When I am getting ready in the morning, I love finishing off my entire look with some jewelry pieces such as rings, bracelets and of course earrings. I use to always stick to the standard stud earrings back in the day, I was so afraid to experiment and try out new styles. I was afraid to get that kind of attention. Fast forward years later and I am so glad I pushed passed that mindset and decided to step out and explore the fashion world. There are so many adorable styles of earrings! I can not go a day without wearing earrings, in fact, if I step foot out of the door and forgot some, I run back in to stick a pair in (I am a tad bit ridiculous!). Beauts, I am beyond stoked and excited to share with you guys a collaboration that I have been so fortunate to be able to be apart of! I can not express how absolutely stunning this company is. I recently collaborated with a company called, “Aqua dreams Boutique”, who specializes in on-trend handmade jewelry. These pieces are absolutely GORGEOUS and I can not emphasize that enough oh my! This little boutique is from North Carolina, United States.
Amanda Lee is the owner of “Aqua dreams Boutique”, and is so down to earth to connect with! She is extremely friendly, and is more than happy to help you out and help you find what you are looking for! Her pieces are incredibly stunning, and you can tell you puts a ton of work into her products when it comes to the style and design. On her website she offers unique styles in earrings as well as necklaces. From animal prints, glitter, flower, and Halloween styles, they are BEAUTIFUL.
I was so fortunate and blessed to receive 5 pairs of beautiful earrings to show for you beauts! The earrings come in two different styles , either “Boho fan”, or “Feather” shaped. Guys, when I mean every single pair of earrings were adorable on the site, I mean EVERY SINGLE PAIR. I was absolutely blown away at how stylish and chic these earrings were, and I fell in love with every single one on her website. She truly has an eye for fashion and a beautiful taste in style!
The first pair of earrings that I received were the “Glitter Feather Earrings” in the shade Porcelain. These earrings are breathtaking and the colour is just flawless. What I love about these earrings is that they are such a great and subtle colour that goes well with so many different outfits! The glitter is to die for, and the size is perfect! These ones are in a size medium, but the earrings can come in three different sizes; small, medium and large. What I also love about these earrings is that they are such a statement piece. They are super flattering and so shimmery! Perfect for so many occasions. The earrings also are hypoallergenic which is great, so irritation does not occur!
These earrings come in a whole bunch of different colours that you have the option to choose from! These ones retail in store for $28.56, and are super lightweight!
“…life isn’t perfect, but your outfit can be!”
The second pair of earrings that I received were the, “Silver Leopard Earrings”. As you beauts know I absolutely love my animal prints, especially when it comes to leopard print! I am super stoked about these ones, they are so cute! Again, such a statement piece which I love! You can pair these earrings with so many different outfits. These ones come in different colours and animal prints as well such as alligator skin and snakeskin too! Colours vary from gold, pink, black, brown,champagne, and even coral! These ones retail in store for $28.56 and are in the size medium.
“sparkle every day”
The third pair of earrings that I want to show you beauts are breathtaking as well. Amanda Lee thought of so many creative and unique pieces, I have no words for these goodies! These ones are called, “Burgundy Boho Fan Earrings”, and I just adore this colour! These are perfect for the fall time and the glitter on them is just beautiful! As you can see the Boho Fan style are just as elegant and classy as the Feather style ones. Why not add a bit of both into your fashion routine?! These ones retail for $27.17. You can choose the glitter burgundy style or just burgundy in general if you are not feeling the glitter! For me personally, the more glitter the better!
The fourth pair of earrings that I received from “Aqua Dreams Boutique” are these flawless, “Glitter Feather Earrings”, in the shade Neon Coral. I am in love with anything that is a coral colour. It is such a bold and fun colour that you can play around with! I again love the shimmer, anything shimmery I am so down for! I love adding these earrings to a more subtle outfit as they truly make your outfit “pop” and standout! These one are probably one of my absolute favorites for sure! Again, so many beautiful glittery colour to choose from! These ones retail in store for $28.53 and are in a size medium. Grab yours today!
The final and last pair of earrings that I cannot wait to show you beauts are these adorable fall coloured ones! These ones are from the Feather Earrings collection and are in the shade Burnt Orange (so stunning!). I love subtle and cozy colours like this, this literally screams fall to me, and makes me want to jump in a great big pile of leaves! (just kidding, maybe just go grab that pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks instead! haha). I love the burnt orange colour! You can have so much fun styling these earrings with so many different kinds of outfits! If you adore the fall, these are a MUST HAVE in your fall wardrobe! These ones are actually in a size large but are not too big at all whatsoever! These ones retail on her website for $23.09. Ps… did I mention that all of these products are handmade? YUPP! Just wanted to throw that in there for ya!
I really hope you beauts enjoyed this little try on session blog! I honestly had so much fun conducting this post for you guys, and I can not express how in love I am with these earrings! I want to personally give a HUGE thank you to Amanda Lee and her amazing company, “Aqua Dreams Boutique” for allowing me to collaborate with you! It was an absolute pleasure to be apart of this, I am so grateful! I have received numerous compliments on these pieces, and have been wearing them with different outfits nonstop all week! Be sure to come and check out her Instagram page at, “@aquadreamsboutique” and her Etsy shop as well! All of her information is located in her Instagram bio!
So I am curious! Are you beauts more of a necklace type of gal, or are you all about the earrings? Personally I love both don’t get me wrong but I will always be a die hard earrings lover all the way! If you guys do end up purchasing some pieces from her shop let me know what you buy! Also to top everything off, I am providing you beauts with an amazing discount code! THAT’S RIGHT! Simply punch in “Alyssa20” at checkout for 20% off your order! What are you waiting for!? Grab your beautiful pieces today!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, have fun in the leaves and I am going to go pick out some pumpkins! Go enjoy that beautiful fall weather!
Hey there Beauts! Happy Thursday! You know what that means right? It’s almost Friday, you made it through the week! You got this guys! I am so proud of you, I hope your week is flying by for you, and you got some great plans for the weekend! Anybody doing anything fun? For me I think I am going to take it easy, relax, burn my fall candle, and do some blogging…. get into my zone!
Put your hand up if you are absolutely adoring the fall weather! Is anyone a hardcore fall lover like myself? I’m talking about pumpkin spice latte overload, big over sized sweaters, those plaid scarves, and cute fall pictures that you have to convince your boyfriend to take of you! Am I right? Speaking of the fall time, these means fall collaborations! I have some amazing fall collaborations coming your way but this one you guys I am super stoked to discuss and share with you! I recently reached out to an amazing Canadian company called, “Arrow It Forward”, and they specialize in home fragrances (can you say yummmm?!) If you guys know me well enough you know that I can never have enough pumpkin smelling things in my room or fall scents for that matter! The more the merrier! I was thrilled when Emily Prout, owner of Arrow It Forward, got back to me and wanted to collab together!
Let’s meet the Maker!
Emily Prout is the proud owner of the Canadian brand “Arrow It Forward”, as she makes all of her products right from her home, which might I add is in Ontario (proud supporter of Canadian brands, you go girl!). She lives with her husband and her two children who work together in this family business. Emily loves to show off her creative side in the work she does and trust me…. does she do a heck of a good job at that! She states that she pushed herself out of her comfort zone which I absolutely adore and admire! She makes strong connections with her audience and following and loves to really connect with the ways she describes each of her products. BEAUTS… just wait until you hear the titles and sayings that go along with each product, they are absolutely AMAZING… I was hooked! If the scents were not enough for you to be obsessed with the sayings on the products will grab your attention!
About the Products!
On the website “Arrow It Forward”, there are so many amazing and stunning products to take a peek at! If you are looking for soy candles, soy wax melts, reusable car air fresheners ( yes I did just say that!!), or even linen and room sprays you are in the right place! Sometimes, I find that certain fragrance brands are lacking really strong scents! I mean guys, if I grab an autumn breeze candle I want to literally feel like I’m walking for a beautiful fall path with crispy leaves crunching under my boots & the crisp air in my face. I can absolutely assure you guys you will not be disappointed in the scents of these products, hands down! The fragrances smell so amazing I can’t even deal! Shall we get into some of the products?
“SO BASIC Reusable Car Air Freshener”- First off, I never thought a car air freshener could look cute but this obviously proves me wrong! I am adoring the colours that were implemented into these! I don’t know about you guys but I like my car to look cute, yes I am that basic girl, so this I am absolutely digging! The car air fresheners come pre-scented which is amazing, and if you need the scent to be touched up, simply spray the linen/room spray on it which I will mention for you below! This retails on her website for $7.50!
“SALTY AF Bath Soak”– This magnesium chloride bath soak is unreal! This product is scented with totally validating ADULTING IS HARD blend, and might I add the scent is to die for. When I opened up this package, the scent just lifted into the air! I absolutely adore the name of this product, I think that is just the cutest ever. Simply pour entire contents under running water and “let some of your saltiness go down the drain!”. This product however is not intended for children but hey…. adults need to de-stress whenever we get the chance to! There is also another bath soak as well if you want to try that one out too which is called “MOM’S SALTY”…. love it! This product retails on her website for only $6.00!
“HYGGE Hand Poured Wax Melts- I have been recently getting into soy wax melts, and I am so glad I have been! I totally have been missing out! I love how easy these are to use, and the scent this product gives off is amazing! There are so many different ones to choose from and try out, go take a peek for yourself! You get six cubes in a package for only $6.00!
“… a cozy blend of warm blankets and quiet afternoons”
“SO BASIC Room and Linen Spray”- BEAUTS.… I am absolutely living for this fine mist spray! I can not emphasize enough through words how beautiful the scent is! I am literally spraying pumpkins galore on my sheets and in my room, which I absolutely adore. You can never have too many pumpkin smelling items ever! This is a 4 oz pump that you can spray in your room, on your pillows or even on your sheets! There are also other blends to choose from such as SO BASIC, MOM LIFE, BELIEVE, ADULTING IS HARD, UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER, and STAY WEIRD. This products retails on her website for &12.00 but is on sale for $9.00!
“…a predictable blend of pumpkin spice and plaid scarves”
“SUNDAY FUNDAY Soy Wax Candle”- You beauts know I adore my candles, especially the fall scented ones! They are always super cozy to smell, especially if you are blogging away or relaxing! I love love LOVE this fall scented candle, it brings so many fall vibes when you light it! I honestly just want to grab a hot cup of apple cider every time it’s lit! If you want to be cozy and are a fall lover like myself this candle is for you! Can we just take a second to admire the title of this candle! Love it! There are so many other scents to choose from as well which all include cute sayings and titles! Let’s add some fun into your room! This candle retails in store for $20.00 but is on sale right now for $15.00! Grab yours while it’s on sale!
“ …a seasonal blend of apple cider and shameless selfies”
So now that you guys have seen a sneak peek at some of the goodies located on the website I wanted to share a neat fact about the company and what it was named after! The name “Arrow It Forward”, came from two concepts! First, the concept of pay it forward, and secondly, a quote which relates to the arrow. What caught my attention was the meaning behind the arrow which states, “ an arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus and keep aiming”. I absolutely adore this meaning behind the arrow and that is actually why I have an arrow tattooed on my spine believe it or not! I am a firm believer of this and absolutely adore the reason behind this company name! Way to go Emily! I want to personally thank Emily Prout for allowing me to collaborate with her amazing company “Arrow It Forward”! Be sure to check out her Instagram handle “@arrowitforward”, as her website is located in her bio! Let me know if you beauts try out some of her products! I highly recommend trying out the ones I did, and I for sure will be ordering some more when I run out!
Be sure to use my discount code, ‘alyssa20″ at checkout for 20% off your order!
Hey there my beautiful souls! Welcome to my channel if you are new! If you are a returning soul then welcome back, I am so happy you are visiting again! I have been so busy recently, it’s been insane! I just came back from a 7-day cruise and it was to die for, an absolutely beautiful experience which was much needed. I am, however, slowly trying to get back into reality and back into my routine.
I just came back to Canada on Saturday, so I have been trying to organize my life again and get back into the grind. That being said, I am pleased to share with you beauts a super exciting collaboration that I have been working on and partnered up with this fall season. I could not be any happier to be part of this fall collaboration for such a unique company! The fact that I absolutely adore working and connecting with new companies is an understatement, but to work on a fall collaboration is super exciting in itself! I truly want to get back into the routine and grind of blogging again, and what better way to start it back off then doing a collaboration for you beauts!
About the Company
I reached out to this wonderful company called, “Southern Jones”, and was super stoked when they had chosen me to be apart of their fall collaboration this year! This beautiful company specializes in uniquely designed mugs, which may I add…. are absolutely breathtaking. These stunning mugs are designed by Etsy store owner Cami Jones, who lives in Little Rock, Arkansas. She runs her small company in her laundry room at home, enjoying lake weekends, lazy nights at home and travel occasionally.
About the Mugs
The designs on the mugs are to die for you guys! I was completely overwhelmed and shocked at how many gorgeous and unique designs there were! You can also suggest custom mug ideas that you may have on your mind as well! If you head on over to her Etsy shop, link located in her Instagram bio, simply fill out the custom order questionnaire and you are all set! If you are that basic fall girl, that one who adores plaid scarves, fall hats, oversized sweaters and pumpkin everything…you will absolutely ADORE her fall mug collection! I was head over heels excited to have the opportunity to show off one of her fall mugs to you beauts! May I remind you as well that the ink located on both sides of the mug are permanent, so no need to worry about your design accidentally coming off! Phew!
What I love about Cami’s Instagram page is that you get a “behind the scenes” look at how she does her mug process which is super neat! Did I also mention that Cami has her own blogging channel too? I love it! I honestly love meeting other bloggers from around the world and reading their articles! Be sure to take a peek at her located on her Etsy page.
I don’t know about you beauts but I am literally a mug addict hardcore. I hate any boring mugs and I simply do not own any in my home! I love waking up in the morning time, getting all ready, and going to grab a nice hot cup of pumpkin coffee in of course a pretty mug! Why not grab a snazzy fall mug while you’re at it and complete the whole fall vibe?! The one mug that I received is by far my favourite one out of her fall collection but trust me, there are some high top threes that’s for sure! All of her designs are so unique and super cute! The prices of her mugs range around $23.14 which is a great deal, especially the high quality of the cups and designs you receive! If you are looking for wedding mugs for a bridal party or simply want to grab a mug for your grandma or mom she has some for you! Are you a dog mom like myself and simply want to have your pooch on your mug? She has adorable dog mugs too that are on her Etsy shop! I am telling you guys if you haven’t checked out her amazing shop you are missing out!
The mug that I received in the mail from Southern Jones’ fall collection for 2019 was the “Sweater Weather” mug. This one stood out to me right away because the design was way too stinking cute! I thought the whole look was classy and I am for sure an oversized sweater type of gal when it comes to the fall season! Nothing like being cute & cosy all at the same time, am I right?!
I want to give a huge thank you to Southern Jones for allowing me to collaborate with your amazing company, you are amazing! If you beauts are fall lovers like myself or just love mugs, in general, you will adore these designs, highly recommend checking out her Etsy store and Instagram page! You can follow her on Instagram at “@shopsouthernjones”.
I hope you beauts have a wonderful week! It’s the start to a fresh new one so make it count! Sending all those positive and cosy vibes your way always! Remember, it will be a great week if you want it to be!
Hey beauts! I hope everyone is having a great week & I am so happy it’s Friday tomorrow thank god! Phew! It has been an up and down week but felt pretty productive so I am happy about that! I finally am starting to feel more productive with my days & that truly is a blessing. Not going to lie, some days I really just want to lounge, chill and lay in bed. I’m not sad by any means, I honestly just don’t know what to do with my days sometimes, or I just have very little energy. Anyone with me? Lately though, I have developed a “routine” if you want to call it, mainly for work and that helps me out a ton. Not only do you feel more energized, but you feel like you are actually doing something with your days. You let your body start to follow the same routine and daily tasks start to become easier. I used to find it so difficult to get up in the mornings, I would not feel refreshed at all, I would feel sluggish and I would honestly think about my nap later on. Now, my body naturally wakes up around 6 or 7 and I do feel refreshed. Of course somedays I do wake up wanting more sleep... I mean I wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t think that somedays no matter how much sleep I got.
I truly feel like I am starting to better myself in really good ways and that honestly makes me feel so happy. I am finding ways to better myself but I am still learning to accept my flaws, and that my beauts, is not an easy thing to do. I have struggled for years and years trying to accept one of my biggest flaws that I have. This flaw has literally drove me crazy for years. This flaw my beauts, is the dreaded “S” word. The word that has haunted me since forever and has always stuck with me through elementary school, high school, university and still lingers beside me even to this day. Shyness. Oh god , that word used to make me cringe and I felt so ashamed to have this “awful” trait.
I have so many vivid memories of this personality trait and characteristic holding me back from certain situations or events. I hated it. High school was a nightmare because I was so afraid to get out of my comfort zone and mingle with people. I only new my twin sister and was super new to Hamilton. I knew no one and I could not push myself to talk to anyone. I sat with my sister for lunch and didn’t really make too many friends.
Fast forward to university, for first year of university I was in residence and I hated it. I went home every weekend because I was so shy. I didn’t know anyone & I didn’t want to talk to anyone on my floor. I was secretly known as the “stuck up bitch” which I had mentioned in a previous blog post because I was so “shy”.
You automatically get judged when you are shy. I have literally heard so many times before “ why are you so shy?” Or I often have people throwing in my face that they are not shy, that talking to people is a breeze. I remember when I was going through university to be a teacher, and I was asked one question that literally killed me. I was asked, “how are you supposed to be a teacher if you can’t talk to anyone”. That shot my confidence down a ton and I hated how I was. I was often judged so bad for this trait that I felt ashamed to be known as “the shy girl “. I often sat in my room at night time, wishing and dreaming, that I would be cured of this awful trait. I wish I could talk to a random joe blow on the corner and ask what time it was. I wish I could be like Tana Mongeau and not give to shits about things!
I wish I could be the life of the party and show up not even drunk & chat up a storm. My list was big. Boy did I ever wish I could just change how I was , and be more “outgoing”. I always wondered, “why me?”, and thought that if I was more outgoing, I would have more friends. I dreamt.
It literally took me 25 years. 25 years to finally accept my personality, my traits and how I presented myself to others. Do I accept myself and love myself 110% all the time? No . Am I kinder to myself and watch how I speak to myself now? Absolutely. Although I am working on accepting some of my other flaws, the one flaw that I finally have accepted is being “that shy girl”, and you know what? I’m going to friggen work being that “shy girl”. After all these years of thinking I had some sort of disease, thinking “why me?”, I proudly can say fuck it. Fuck the feeling of having to come off as the “outgoing girl” all the time, and screw the individuals that don’t accept who you are, they don’t deserve to be in your life. They don’t deserve to get to know you or to know you better. Bye Felecia! See you next Tuesday!
I remember clear as day, my younger sister came home upset a while back because of what one of her ex’s mom had said. She apparently didn’t really like my sister because she was “shy”. I couldn’t believe it. How dare somebody dislike something like that about someone, something that makes you YOU. Of course this broke my sister and made her feel embarrassed, ashamed and upset. Do you want to know what that family ended up missing out on? A beautiful girl inside & out, someone who is extremely artistic , someone who puts others before themselves and someone who has a heart of gold. Often people who are shy are judged so easily right off the bat and this absolutely grinds my gears. Even though someone is suffering from shyness, doesn’t mean that they are stuck up or any less of a person. We so often shame people for having this trait and that disgusts me.
Sure I may have a very hard time engaging in conversations with individuals face to face sometimes, my heart may start to race when I have to speak publicly, I may stumble on my words when speaking out loud, or I may even turn down some social events because I feel like they are too much. You know what? That’s okay. I have finally learned that it’s okay. It’s okay to maybe skip out on the big social event that’s coming up if it helps you sleep better. It’s okay to pass on big gatherings if that’s not your cup of tea. It’s also however okay to push yourself when you can out of your comfort zone. Even if that means you are extremely quiet at that big huge event. Even if that means you only speak to your best friend out of 100 individuals there. It’s also okay to have that one glass of red wine to calm those nerves.
I have been so ashamed for years but I can not express the importance of taking a step back, taking a deep breath, & saying in the mirror “I love who I am, my shyness and all”. One thing I do really find that helps me out a ton when dealing with my little extra “friend” (hence I didn’t say disease!), are people around me that have patience and understanding. My boyfriend is amazing for that. I truly could not have found a more understanding and beautiful soul. My boyfriend, Dayten, isn’t really shy and sometimes tries to help me get out of my comfort zone, but without pushing me too far! At social events, he offers to grab my glass of wine and stands by my side. He knows that I struggle with interactions at times, so always ensures I am good. He holds my hand and helps me engage in some difficult conversations with others. He doesn’t push me to-attend things I am not that fond of, and never once puts me down or centres out of “shyness“. He is a breath of fresh air.
Find someone who doesn’t centre out your shyness, and find someone who doesn’t judge. You need to surround yourself with positive people in your life, ones who uplift you. So you are shy? Big deal. You are just as smart, just as beautiful and just as important as that outgoing girl down the street. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are a failure because you are a little quieter than others, I know the feeling, and trust me, you are far from that. So you were nominated as valedictorian & had to turn it down because the thought of speaking in front of your class was enough to make you puke. I get it. I would’ve done the same. But hey, girl you graduated and that’s something you should be extremely proud of yourself for. You effin graduated! Off to the next chapter! You got this and I couldn’t be more proud of you!
There are so many opportunities in this world and you have so much to be proud about. YOU DO YOU!
“I’m bringing shyness back, yeah! Them other f*ckers don’t know how to act, yeah!” – que Justin Timberlake.
Hey there beauts! Yes I can’t believe it myself… I am actually here, typing, writing, present and more than ever I am BACK. I have been MIA if you want to call it for a long long time. Sometimes life gets in the way and you know what? That is quite okay. I used to see myself as a failure if I got behind, if I let someone down and now I am finally learning to not be so hard on myself, and this my dear… is a fantastic feeling. I honestly didn’t know if I would get back into blogging or not, I quite frankly don’t know who reads my blogs but tonight I felt like typing after 6 months. I know most of the time I am stressed out about something or my anxiety goes off the wall over things I can never control… anyone else with me? My motivation dies, I make excuses like “I can’t find the time”, and I push my hobby to the side. Now I finally feel back to myself, even though it has taken quite some time. I needed to heal, I needed to gather myself again & more importantly, find myself again. I know those of you who follow me on my other social media accounts kind of have an idea of what has been happening over the past 9 months of my life. Those of you who don’t know me & are now stumbling across my account welcome. Is this going to be the happiest of my blogs? No. Am I in a better place now than I was months ago? Absolutely. So grab a glass of wine, some chips and here’s my story.
You know how hard heartbreaks are? No I am not talking about that shitty boyfriend who cheated on you, or your boyfriend of two years, I am talking about a best friend, not just one but two. So imagine a breakup with your boyfriend times two. That was my life, and did I ever think this would be this hard? Never. See, growing up I never really had too close of friends, I had friends but never really really close ones. I had one best friend since kindergarten into university but after university that faded and died. I get it, people grow apart and that’s life. I accepted it.
Carefree, beautiful, high-energy and adventurous is one way to describe her. I met my new best friend in my second year of university, she was my roommate. I lived across the hall from her, and our friendship grew every single day. I was super shy but she brought me out of my shell and I really needed that push. We did everything together and she helped me get through a very hard time in my life. I had a pretty bad dark phase to say the least but I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her so I truly thank her for that. Rewind a year before that and that’s when I met my other best-friend. I met her in my first year of university in a lecture hall. I can’t believe somebody actually spoke to me first as I sat their anxiously, nervously, with hundreds of people around me. We were in the same program and we had back to back lectures. Again another friendship grew and I was finally feeling accepted. She helped me with my studies and we motivated each other. She was my partner in crime and I introduced her to my roommate. Together, we became the three amigos. We were pretty much inseparable, and we posted on instagram with our belligerent drunk pictures, where we danced goofy, laughed endlessly and enjoyed life. I loved them. I loved them like they were my family and I still do love them.
Unfortunately things happen in life, sometimes things that you never think would happen. I used to imagine each other’s lives, visiting with my children one day, and having our wine nights when the kids went down. We had matching tattoos that empowered us, I use to think I was absolutely invincible when I was with them. They made me feel on top of the world. Unfortunately, our powerful and unique friendship did not last. Things unfolded, arguments happened and things got ugly. By ugly, I mean crying nights, sleepless nights and times were I could not eat. Seems a bit dramatic you may be thinking right? I thought so but then again, I have never experienced a true friendship like that before and I was hurting. Hurting enough that things were said on both sides that were nasty, disgusting and ugly. I was absolutely heartbroken the day everything ended. When calls went to voicemail, and we all became strangers. I often questioned myself as to where this all went downhill, if we could’ve avoided all this, but then again, what’s done is done. For the first few months I was angry, angry beyond belief. I am stubborn and wanted to accept and believe the fact that it wasn’t ME who messed up and that was my first red flag. I realized that months later when I tried to reach out again, apologizing for my behalf of the arguments, where I went wrong.
That conversation went nowhere. If anything, it got worse and I knew nothing better was going to come out of this, as much as I wanted so f***ing bad for things to work. I didn’t want to throw away memories, the past, and lose this. I really didn’t want to lose this. Arguments were starting amongst my boyfriend and I all the time over this, he wanted to make sure I was okay, afteralll my mental health was going downhill and I could tell. I needed my therapist but she was booked, I needed to freeze time, I need to start over again. Finally, after endless talks and discussions with the family, I had to make a hard decision. One that wasn’t made overnight, one that took thought and courage. That was the power to let go. If there’s one piece of advice I can offer from this super long and sappy blog, it’s that YOU are in control. You do have the power to let go if you want to. You have to weigh the pros and cons of everything in life. I knew that it was not going to clear up and I wasn’t prepared to go a one way street, it needed to work three ways. Always remember to take care of yourself. Your mental health is absolutely everything, and you need to always ensure you are okay. Take the time to talk to people, talk to loved ones, and don’t keep things bottled in. Keeping things bottled in becomes hostile and slowly, you will see yourself deteriorate.
You need to live your own life. If that requires taking certain people out of your life or changing certain aspects you need to do that, after all , you owe yourself that at least. For me, it took months, more than 8 months to find my happiness again and to find myself again. I kept thinking I would never heal, and I would always be in a downward spiral going nowhere. I thought I would never let any friends close into my life again but that’s far from the truth and I can assure you that. Even though everything is far from perfect, life gets in the way, and things go wrong remember things always get better. There is always a light, even though it may take a while… mine did… you will be okay. I wanted to take the time to write this post not only to share my story and advice with you beauts, but this is a form of healing. A healing I prayed for.
Am I completely healed? Absolutely not. Will I always have a place in my heart for those girls, absolutely. Do I hate them? No. They helped me get through university which was not easy for me. I am at a point in my life where life is too short to hold on to regrets, negativity and the past. It takes so much energy to hate someone, to wish them a terrible life. It takes no energy to move on with yours, to focus on yourself and to create positive vibes. I want nothing but the best for them, and I will continue to wish that. But now, it’s my turn. It’s my turn to return to my normal life, my shy/bubbly self, my goofy dance moves, singing “poor unfortunate souls” by Ursula on Karaoke, and drinking my red wine. It’s my turn to live my life again, to meet new people and to laugh endlessly.