Dear 23-Year-Old Self 

Dear 23-Year-Old Self 


It’s me again, I hope you beauts are having a wonderful Tuesday so far! Last time I wrote to you it was for my 16-year -old self which I found rather refreshing. Of course, if I had to go back in time, or tell my daughter in the future about my 16-year-old self I would remind her of a bunch of things, the do’s and dont’s of life, the ups and downs, the yeses and nos of life and so forth. But I don’t think I have touched on the later years in life that are shortly down the road.  I think it is so important to write dear letters, especially to yourself, it allows you to see things from a different perspective and get all your thoughts down on paper. A lot has happened since I was 16 to now 23 and I feel that I need to remind myself a lot of things, with regards to the struggles I went through to the great memories I cherish.


Dear 23-year-old self,

You made it. You’re here. In fact, you’re almost halfway to 30, so take a step back, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself. This wasn’t easy I know, in fact, if I had to do it over again there are things I would do differently and change, but unfortunately, we cannot turn back time, just keep moving forward. 23 is a big year and a lot of things are happening in your 20’s. You most likely are almost done school or decided to maybe continue education like yourself and I am proud of you for doing that. I know you did not want to go back to school again, 4 years of university is a lot, and I know you get really down and hard on yourself. School was not easy for you. You had a controlling boyfriend over the years of university who reminded you how dumb you were and laughed at your ideas. But you proved him wrong. You walked across that stage proudly and accepted your diploma and got your degree. You met another young man who accepted your flaws and would remind you how creative and smart you were, you did good kid. So you did it. You completed that phase in your life, and when another opportunity came up years down the road you took it. That is one thing I want to emphasize the importance of 23-year-old self. When opportunities come your way grab them. Do not be afraid of what’s going to happen next, but take advantage of things coming your way. And your opportunity was social work, and being accepted into a college to continue your education. I am so proud of you. I know a lot more opportunities will come your way after receiving this diploma. But aside from school, there are other changes you are experiencing right now. It’s a word that starts with an “A”. You guessed it. Adulthood. If I had to explain adulthood in one sentence, it would not be easy. We all experience things at different speeds in life, but if I really had to say something I would say this, ” Adulthood isn’t easy”. I wish I was prepared more. But nobody really informed me what was coming my way. I have never really shared a house with someone, especially my significant other before.  If I had to give you one piece of advice 23-year-old self, it would be that you made the right move. Sure you had your fights here and there but you tried something new. You had to accommodate and adapt to living with someone else and that is never easy. You really learn a lot about someone once you live with them. Overall, it was a great step and a big one at that. I think you made the right move.


Dear 23-year-old self, 

Mental illness runs in your family, we all know that. In fact, I think everyone suffers a bit from mental illness in their life, the severity of it depends on the coping skills you know and the strategies that work for you. You found out after 23 years that you developed social anxiety and you never knew you had it. I think you secretly knew something was up, but never thought anything of it. I am so proud of you for doing something about it. You challenged yourself and took it on.  Some people struggle and just keep struggling but you wanted to do something about it which is amazing. Not only did you attend meetings every Wednesday for two hours, but you blogged about your journey to share with others and that takes courage. I know you love helping people and that’s why you chose to do that. You are an inspiration to others and I am not too sure if you see that just yet. Don’t worry, one day you will take a step back and notice the little things you do in life that are amazing, like yourself. Not only have you improved on your social anxiety but you have attended several interviews since then. This was not an easy step for you to accomplish and do. You hate interviews. It’s the fact of not knowing what will come next, or what if you say something stupid and they look at you funny. It’s all these “what-ifs”, but for some reason, in these last few recent interviews, you did not ask those in your mind. You focused on how well you were going to do and believed in yourself. You trusted yourself. If there is one piece of advice I would give to you 23-year-old self it would be to trust yourself and to give yourself a chance in life. Have some faith and hope and use your coping statements, you got this. You are improving every single day, did you notice that? Did you take a step back today to notice your accomplishments? You should do that just to remind yourself. 23 is not an easy year nor is ageing into your 20’s. I honestly wish they had a pamphlet to tell you the do’s and don’ts but then again, you wouldn’t learn from your mistakes. 23-year-old self you have made so many mistakes in life, but you are still here, learning from them, and doing better the next time. That’s all I can ask for. So thank you for making this a not so hard letter for me to write, sure I could write down all the things you did wrong and let you know how badly you messed up but where is the positive in that? I know 24 is going to be the year for you, I can feel it. Thanks for making 23 a good year for me, you have come a long way, as Tom Delonge would say it, “Life’s just waiting to begin”.

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Dear Girl Afraid of Falling Behind

Dear Girl Afraid of Falling Behind


Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

You’re not alone trust me. There are days where I look around me and wonder “Why don’t I have a big girl job yet?”, or how come I can’t seem to find a job in my field. Sure I have had babysitting and nanny jobs in the past but it’s not the same. I did not go to Brock University for 4 years to come out and apply for waitressing jobs. I am behind, everyone is going forward without me, and I am stuck. I want to scream for the world to slow down so I can quickly move up and not be so far behind. I am almost 24 years old, I should have my life together by now, I should be out of school, having my career dream job, starting a family in the next 5 years but somehow I feel so behind. Why? Don’t you hate that? Your thoughts in your head that won’t shut off even when you close your eyes to sleep and turn off the world around you? There are some days where I feel on top of the world as if no one can get on my level and bring me down. Other days I drown in my thoughts and wonder why I am moving so slow through life when others around me are running through it. It makes me feel like a failure. Welcome to my negative side. She often comes out when there are too many thoughts strolling and wandering through my mind. She’s terrible but doesn’t know it. I hate when she comes out, it’s as if everything I do is not good enough, that I need to try harder in life to succeed. But what if I let her win? What if everything I did I considered a failure in life? I would be miserable. I would hate who I was as an individual and I would be so burnt out from trying too hard. I am not going to let her win. She can’t and doesn’t deserve to. She’s miserable and that’s no way to live. What if I told her to look at things from a different perspective? Then what. 


Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Did you tell her? Let’s take a second to break down those things you see as “failures in life”. So you don’t have a big girl job yet, so what. Sure you want one, but how did you get that degree in the first place? By studying, by sleepless nights, by breakdowns, by endless amounts of presentations and assignments, and by four years of hard work. Now take a step back and ask yourself, “Do you really see that as a failure?”. Or those of you who have tried school and can’t seem to find the right program for yourselves. That’s okay because guess what. I thought I was going to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, and I found out that just wasn’t the right career path for me. So I tried a new route and love the program I am in right now. There are so many different programs out there that how the hell are you supposed to narrow it down and just chose one? It takes time, and I feel like everyone thinks time just runs out like that. Sure we grow older and get wrinkles eventually but that’s years down the road, not tomorrow, not the next day, or the day after that. You have TIME. And we need to reassure ourselves that we do. Even if we take a second out of our days to remind ourselves about this, that’s okay. I have to remind myself that I am not behind in life, that I am not falling behind. In fact, I am taking my time. I am not rushing, I am simply waiting for opportunities to come and find me as if it’s a game. I have been hiding for so long, that I think my hiding spot is too good for opportunities to find me. But then again, everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe in that saying and live by it. So girl afraid of falling behind, you’re only 2 seconds behind, not a year, not 2, not 3. It’s okay to not be on the same route as everyone else, and it’s okay to take that extra time for yourself to figure out what you truly want in life. Decisions are difficult. And it’s okay to take time for them.

Dear girl afraid of falling behind, 

Focus on you. Focus on which plan you want to do next and stop worrying about the speed around you, you’ll get there. I know it feels like your miles behind but you’re not. Don’t let her win. There are times she’ll try to make you feel like you’re nothing, that you’re a failure, but you are far from that. Look at your accomplishments and everything you’ve done in life, it was not easy to get there, you worked for it. Even though time does not stop and people are continuing on with their lives around you, you go at your pace. Jobs will always be there, school will always be there and you’ve got nothing but time, endless amounts of it. You go do things at your own speed and life will accommodate you, trust me. I believe in you, and you’re never far behind. Things happen for a reason and always remind yourself of that. 

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Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged

Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged

Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

Who isn’t afraid of being judged? I feel like all my life, I have always put others first before myself, wondering what others may think of me, and wondering what their opinions are of me. But it’s time to start living, and I feel like I have not lived my life yet.  Wondering who’s going to like my Instagram photos, when in reality, they don’t know the story behind the photo, but automatically you are going to be judged. That’s life. No matter what you do, somebody is going to judge you whether you like it or not. But you know what? Own it. If you want to post a progress picture that you are too afraid to post, just do it. What is the harm? It’s your account, your Instagram, and your time to show off your progress. I can admit that I am a selfie queen, and a lot of people have asked me in the past, ” why do you post so many pictures of yourself?“. One word, I am “proud“. I am proud of how far I have come as a human being, challenging myself each and every day. I am proud of how I look, and how much I have worked on myself, I am proud of how far I have come.  I have gained a sense of independence and I have become stronger over the years. So why do I post so many selfies of myself you may ask? Because I woke up today and I am happy to be alive, I am feeling good, I want to show off my best friend’s amazing photography skills, or I am just generally in a good mood. That’s why.


Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

I was that same girl, in fact, I still am at times. It took a lot of people to get through to me that it’s okay to not care what others may think of you. Do you really have to impress them? Are they really too caught up in your life, that they forgot about minding their own business?  I can relate to this statement. After breaking up and getting back together with my boyfriend I knew the judging would start. I had endless amounts of time to think and really think hard if this is what I want in life, I knew for a fact the judging would be there, but I had to push that aside. I knew that some people would not agree with the decision I made but in reality, “who cares”.  Are they really going to determine your happiness for you? Are they the ones in your relationship? No.  When you are thinking twice about posting that Instagram picture because you gained a couple pounds over the summer, just think, “Who are they to guide your life, to guide how you live, and to guide your direction in life?”. You are your own person, you have your own mind, you can make your own decisions. I currently am focusing on my life, my relationship, and my future. Those who can not accept it are not really your true friends and are not going to be there in the long run for you. This is like an experiment and I am testing you. I am testing you to see if you will be there for me, you may not agree with everything I am doing, but you will be there for me in the end. That is the real test. 


Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,

It’s time to start your life and be who you want to be. I am supporting you 100%, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I will be there for you. In the end, it’s about you and your happiness, not theirs. It’s not their life, their body, their mind… it’s yours. I am in the process of not caring what other’s think of me anymore. It’s not an easy thing to do, and the road may be a bit rocky, but once you stop caring what others think of you, you can truly find your happiness and start living your life. I can finally say I am starting to live my life the way I want to, are you?

I hope you beauts enjoyed this dear letter for the week. I usually gear my dear letters towards what is on my mind, and what I think other’s around me will benefit from, and learn from. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page for more blog posts to come in the near future!

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Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind 

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind 


Hey beauts! Yes I know it’s probably been about a million years since the last time I blogged and so much has been going on! I thought “hey…why not tell you guys through one of my famous dear letters?” And that if someone is struggling like I was and am , that maybe this letter can help you out just a tad bit. I also want to thank a person who inspired me to write this letter & reached out to me.

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind,

It’s not easy, this thing they call life. I remember not having to have a single worry in the world, just having to dread your younger sisters running in and jumping on you in the morning. Close your eyes. Now you’re an adult. You’re here, it’s real. I remember they didn’t teach you this in school. They didn’t tell you that adulting would be like arts and crafts time. I wasn’t prepared. I still am not prepared. I am 23. I know that must mean that I have it all together but I really don’t. I know how to tie my shoes, I know how to be a good role model, I know how to write an essay ( when I like the topic), but school/parents/friends don’t prepare you for your own personal journey ahead.

Dear Girl in a Mixed-up Mind,

I know you’re tired. You’re stressed with school. You’re mentally and physically exhausted. No one can really tell and know how you are feeling except for yourself. When they ask you what’s wrong you simply state, ” just stressed out “. But they don’t know that you just bombed a test for the first time in forever, that you’re having relationship troubles and don’t know where to turn, that you know you won’t be able to enjoy your weekend because you start placement Monday, so your anxiety is eating you alive. But did you personally look at the big picture? Did you get up this morning and look in the mirror? Did you take a deep breath, throw all your worries in the garbage and think “today’s the day I make a change ?”. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath, let out all our worries and just give ourselves a pat on the back. It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to live. We are so hard on ourselves that before we know it, we will be gone. I want to look at the bigger picture. That I went back to school after taking a year off to continue my education. That after school, I will get a career even if it takes me a little bit and you know what? That’s okay. 


Dear Girl in a Mixed-Up Mind,

Did you laugh today? Did you reach out to your friends and acknowledge every aspect and characteristic they hold? They are your support system, and will always be there for you even through these hard times. Reach out to them. Tell them what is going on in that brain of yours. I’m sure if you state “I’m crazy”, they will want to be crazy with you. They will want to endure that with you.  Don’t lose touch with them, I know they live far away but it’s only a car ride away. It’s life, but you make it work. 

I know you stopped going to the gym because you’re stressed out and that’s ok. So what? Take a break, figure out you and your present life, figure out your short and long term goals, figure out YOU. I know you’re hard on yourself because you’re gaining some weight, so what. What are a few pounds here and there? When you are ready, you will go back and push yourself like you used to. But right now, it’s not the right time and I think you know that. You need to have the proper mindset, and I know you’re living in a mixed up mind now. That won’t last forever. Take a few deep breaths right now, run a bath, play some of your favourite music and calm down. It will be okay, it’s always okay, even if it doesn’t seem like it at that moment.

Life is precious. Life is eventful. Life is unexpected. Life is a journey, it’s YOUR journey. Mixed up or not you are here, breathing and alive.

Tomorrow is a new day, decide what changes you want to make and start making that progress. It only gets better if you do something about it. Don’t worry Girl in a Mixed-Up Mind, you’re not the only one.

Dear Girl on the Verge of Quitting

Dear Girl on the Verge of Quitting

Hey my beauts, hope you all had a wonderful weekend spent with friends and family! These are the times and moments you have to treasure and remember. I recently have been inspired to do more of my “inspiring blog posts” lately, such as my dear letters. Sometimes these type of blog posts come to me and sometimes I will be sitting in front of the computer for hours trying to get something to come to me, it’s really a hit or a miss. I have been inspired to do a letter geared around the theme of quitting.  I know for me, if I do not want to do something or I am not motivated, I will just say f*** it, I am tired, or I will do this tomorrow. This letter is meant for those on the verge of quitting, on the verge of saying “I will just do this tomorrow“, this is for you.

Dear girl on the verge of quitting,

“You’re fine, you’re good, you can just pick up the pieces tomorrow and start fresh that day”. Do these sound familiar? Your brain can be an absolute beautiful pleasure to have, filled with wonderful thoughts and encouraging statement pieces. On the other hand, it can be your fuel girl on the verge of quitting. Don’t let these thoughts fuel your fire. You’re better than that. I know life would be so much easier if one could just start a new process the next day, leaving today a day to relive your normal unsatisfying routine that you wanted to change. Girl on the verge of quitting, do you remember why you started? I remember. You only told me a thousand times why would want to change up your routine, and better yourself. It was only those numerous nights where you kept reminding yourself in the morning you are going to start. So start. Go and be that morning person you always wanted to be. Don’t think that you can’t do this, I have seen what you can do. I think that you are blind to the amount of amazing things you can do. Were you fast asleep when you won your university 45-minute debate in front of your seminar? Remember that sleepless night before hand? Did you show up to your seminar stating, “I am going to do this tomorrow“? No. You did it. You won. You knew deep down you had this even though I know you are not 100% sure of yourself. Don’t worry girl on the verge of quitting, that is something we can work on another time, but let’s focus on the aspect of quitting, and how you did not quit in that moment. How good did that feel? I know you were completely out of your comfort zone, I think that is life right? Life is about doing things you would not normally do, and you did just that. I think you surprised yourself, don’t you think?

Dear girl on the verge of quitting,

Can you remind yourself why you started this journey? If you need some help, why don’t you grab that pen and paper over there and write out your reasons, I think you could name 10. But that’s just me. Your reasons are not dumb, do you need to be reminded of that? I know you thought of these reasons for a purpose, so let’s continue to strive for that short or long term goal. If you need me to help push you, I think you should hang your reasons above your bed, that is what I usually do. I know it’s hard girl on the verge of quitting, but can you just do me one thing? I don’t ask for a lot. Can you please stick through this one thing and push yourself as soon as you wake up and get out of bed? I know this is a really big commitment, and you’re probably scared to take on the challenge. May I remind you of the time you went completely out of your comfort zone and joined a treatment program? No, it’s not something to be ashamed about, so get that thought out of your mind. Where would you be right now if you said, “ I am going to do this another time, not today”? Would you be reaching out to lots of people in regards to blog collaborations, let me just add in there that you have never even met half of these beautiful individuals, but you did it. I am proud. I know you want to say you are secretly proud of yourself as well. It’s okay to take that credit once in a while you know. In those moments, you did not quit. You were not a quitter. You are not a quitter.

Dear girl on the verge of quitting,

You can do this. I know you got this. I know you regret some things in life, but don’t let this be one of them. Don’t let this opportunity slip and run away from you. You are already in the moment, you’re here, so let’s stay here and hold onto that promise. You need to let go of things that you quit in the past, you’re not that same person anymore remember. That isn’t you. Let’s show you what you’re capable of.  So girl on the verge of quitting, I hope I got through to you a little bit. I know it may take a few reminders here and there to not let this opportunity slide, this is why I am here. You may read me anytime you wish, okay?  I just think that some days I may know you a little better than you may know yourself. I know for a fact you’re a strong girl with many ambitions and goals in life. Keep this goal on your list, don’t scratch it out until it’s completed.

Remember all those nights where you questioned yourself in university and stated, “I don’t know if I can do this”. Remember when your palms were super sweaty before presentations and you had to borrow your friend’s water bottle in order to add some moisture to your throat because it was so dry before that one presentation. Remember when you scored a 90 on that presentation and you hate public speaking? I remember. In fact, I will always remember. If you need a pick me up, I want you to take a second and glance at that diploma hanging on the wall. Did you quit that? No. You did that, you got that education. That was all you. Do you see how much stuff you’re capable of? Don’t let yourself down, because I know you’re better than that.

Daer girl on the verge of quitting, you’re not a quitter.

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