Hello my gorgeous beauts! So I was thinking, sometimes you just need a good laugh, am I right? I know some days when I am down in the dumps I look up on Youtube baby videos, or puppy videos or even different YouTubers most embarrassing moments. I thought to myself ” I am a clutz and a spaz, so why not share some of my stories with you guys!?” Here are a few of my most embarrassing stories that I came up with at the top of my head that I think you guys will enjoy reading about!
- I absolutely hated wearing underwear– So when I was about 5 or so, my family had just moved to Jarvis and we were starting to get to know our neighbors and what not. I went through this certain phase during this time where I absolutely hated wearing underwear. I hated the feeling, the texture, just was not having it. I remember on multiple occasions where my mom would have to check me before going to school if I was wearing any. So on this one particular summer day, I decided to go bike riding down my street with my sister, in a lovely summer dress, with nothing down there. Do not ask me how this would be comfy because I literally have no idea. So my sister and I decided to have a contest who could ride their bike with no hands. Do you really think I could do this? Um no. So of course I went airborne, bike goes the opposite way and the dress goes up. Who decides to come and help? My next door neighbour. The full moon was out early that day.
2. I hate centipedes– When I was in high school, I went through a phase where I absolutely hated penises. I thought they looked absolutely nasty, they were weird and I just was not having it. In fact I hated the word penis so much I referred to them as “centipedes”. So one day I was talking to this boy who I liked and was seeing. At the same time I was talking to my friend and explaining to her why I hated penises and what I called him. Didn’t I send this lovely text to the guy I was seeing by mistake. If he doesn’t think I was a lesbian before, I am sure he does now.
3. I thought I was being a badass– So when I was in Elementary school in third grade , I remember I was able to stay in during lunch recess because I had sprained my ankle badly that week. So let’s just get one thing straight here. I was an angel in school. I hated getting in trouble, never talked back, mostly because I was scared to. So this one day, I was staying inside while my teacher was on duty, and this other girl that I knew in my class was staying inside too for some reason. She was the more “rebellious” type if I do say so, where I was the complete opposite. We started talking to one another, then she stated that we should write a note to her friend and tape it to her desk. Knowing me as being the quiet type, I did not say no, so I sat beside her as she wrote it. What did this note say if you may ask? Basically it said ” Will you have sex with me, from so and so” (she put in some guy’s name in our class). So she taped it to her desk, and soon everyone came back inside from recess. She found the note and right away showed the teacher. Of course her and I were the only ones in for recess so we both got the rough end of the stick. I started bawling in class, and she wrote me a note to give to my parents. How mortifying. Also I had to stand on the wall for a whole recess. That was the end of my badass phase.
4. I didn’t know we could use a cheat sheet– So you are probably thinking, okay this does not seem that embarrassing when looking at the title? Sure it’s not that embarrassing when you are in high school and what not, but when you are in university you would think you have your shit together. So I was in a course called “Intercultural studies”, and I hated the time frame that it was set on this certain day. I absolutely hate going to late classes, so I never really went to this class that often. I knew that all the lectures were online, so I was not too worried when it came time for the exam. So when it came time for the exam, I caught the bus and was waiting outside the gym to be let in. I knew that there were 3 or more other exams going on around the same time I was writing mine, and saw that a lot of people around me were carrying a cheat sheet. I calmly reassured myself that they were probably in another class and not mine. So when I sat in my row to write my exam I noticed my friend sitting a few seats behind me with a cheat sheet as well. We were allowed to bring a friggen cheat sheet to this exam that was two sided! Of course the prof only mentioned this little detail in lecture when I was not there and being a scholar. My friend did not even mention anything about a cheat sheet either. I literally looked like the biggest idiot winging this exam when I could’ve had the information right infront of my face. I literally just sat there laughing and asking myself why am I even in university? Scholar much?
5. Dressing sexy for the doctor– So when I was in high school I rememeber always complaining about a bump that hurt under my arm. It started hurting more and more each day. So my mom decided to take me to the hospital to get it checked out. So I laid back in the chair and the doctor came and took a look. He then told me to put on a gown and come back into the room. First of all, I had absolutely no idea I was going to have to get changed. Just take a second to guess what I was wearing? One of the most sexiest, laciest, seducing bras that I own. I was mortified! The fact that I was going to have to show that in order for him to get a better look at my armpit. Too bad he wasn’t Ryan Gosling!
6. I got a bloody nose– So when I was with a past boyfriend a couple years ago, we decided to hang out one day and watch movies. So as things started to get a bit …. intense…. I went in to be sexy and kiss him. Little did I know he went to kiss me too, but ended up head butting me in the nose. I was completely turned off, and rather than finishing the kiss, I watched the rest of the movie in peace. I was so mad at him that I didn’t say a word as he handed me a tissue for my nose.Let’s just say that is one way to ruin the mood!
7. I was a lesbian?– So a couple years ago during my single times, my little sister was trying to figure out a guy for me to date. I was not opposed to dating sites at all, I feel that you could potentially find a decent guy on one of those sites! So my little sister decided to sign me up for free on this site which I was fine with. So about after a few hours when I was all signed up, I started getting random messages from girls like “Rachel” and “anna” saying you’re so goodlooking, when do you want to hang out? Little did I know at the time, my little sister accidently said I was looking for women as opposed to men. I was receiving emails that whole entire day.
8. Insects know when you are scared of them– So it was Prom, and we were now celebrating the after party. Of course this is a time to literally drink your life away with all of your good friends, and celebrate how great grade 12 was. My hair was still the way I had it presented for Prom since my hair was absolutely full of hair spray. So we were in my friends garage partying away with literally everyone, and all of a sudden this giant…. and I mean giant ass moth flies in. I have never seen a moth this big in my entire life, and it was a teal colour, how weird eh? Where do you think it decides to land?! Obviously in my hair. By this point I am completely hammered, crying, and freaking out that this creature will not get out of my hair. My friends and boyfriend at the time had to detangle it from my hair and shoo it out of the garage. Let’s just say thank gosh I was a little intoxicated, because that would have been much worse sober.
9. I went for a little swim– I absolutely love fishing and feeling that nibble on the hook when a fish is there. So literally forever ago, I was fishing with my grandma and mom on the Grand River. To this day I still do not understand what even happened, but I somehow managed to fall in. I was crying and my mom and grandma had to help me out of that nasty ass water. Next time ill be sure to wear a life jacket.
10. I thought I was the hottest emo chick– In high school I went through this phase where I decided I wanted to look emo. I always thought the hairstyles were super cute, I loved the bright neon pants, and loved dark makeup. So for about 2-3 years I decided to try this style out, and literally thought I looked mighty fine. Now looking back on pictures you literally question yourself if you were on any drugs at that particular time in your life or what?! It is so embarrassing looking back on old high school photos, and seeing a girl with literally a line for each eyebrow, and this ridiculous nest on my head that was considered hair. Thank god I managed to get out of that phase because I tell you, something was a little off there.
11. I sent my landlord a bath picture– I think 1 or two years ago was when this whole ordeal took place. Do you guys remember neck nominations ? My friend and I were trying to be cute, and did ours in the bathtub together with our bathing suits on and our drinks in our hand. Of course we had to take a crap ton of pictures, because that is what I do. I was texting my mom at the time telling her our neck nomination and what we did for it ( yes we are super close in that way), but at the same time I was texting my landlord about something as well. Not knowing I was still messaging my land lord, I sent her a picture of my friend and I in the bath tub. The sad part is I did not realize I did this til after a few minutes went by, then I had to explain to her what had happened. So embarrassing!
12. I peed on a subway– So it was my best friend’s birthday party at the time, and I was visiting her in Toronto for that weekend. We decided to go out both the Friday and Saturday and literally just get belligerent. I am not used to taking subways in my life, so this whole subway thing was a new experience for me. So let’s just get one thing straight. When I drink, I always always always have to pee literally all the time. So we all got on the subway to go to a bar. It was literally the fourth stop when I knew that I had to pee super bad. I knew that we had a few more stops to go, and there were no bathrooms in the subway station. There was literally no body except us on the subway, so I did the dirty. I literally played it so cool (there were cameras on the subway), quickly sat on a subway chair, lifted up my skirt a bit and went. Yes disgusting but you gotta do what you gotta do. Probably one of the most outrageous things I have ever done. Mom would be so proud.
13. My 21st didn’t go as planned– So for my 21st decided that I really wanted to go full out because well…. why not. I decided to invite a shit ton of my friends, especially the guy that I liked at the time. I decided to get a head start on my drinking before all of my friends came by. Was this the brightest idea? Absolutely not. This was the first time I ever got black out drunk, and I literally went from 0 to 100 real quick. I was put to bed literally around 10:30 while some of my friends still went out. I sadly can not even say I made it out for my 21st but at least the 2 hours that I drank were good?
14. I forgot my pencil case in class– So if anyone knows me by now, they know for a fact that I really do not know my profs that well, nor do I care to take the time out of my day to do so. This is not because I am ignorant, I am literally too shy to handle that. So I wrote an exam yesterday in my classroom, and always sit in the back row. After I finished my exam I took the bus home, and went about my day. Doesn’t my prof message the whole class saying that “someone forgot their pencil case in the back row, and to come to his office to pick it up”. Well…. I guess it’s never too late to get to know a prof now….fml.
15. love to eat other people’s foods– In second year of university, I was preeing at my friend’s house with a couple of my good friends. So I drank a little too much ….. suprise suprise, but I was loving every second of it. While my other friends were getting ready in the bathroom, I decided with my friend Carly to steal some food because I wasn’t feeling so hot. While we thought we were both being super sneaky and didn’t know who’s crackers we were eating, my other friends came out and saw. All I heard was my best friend scream “what are you doing?!”. We both turned around in shock and I just spat out the crackers. Here’s a tip for you beauts. Do not try to be a sneak because you will eventually get caught, and do not eat garlic crackers before going to the bar, that is all.
16. I got written up – Within my first year of university, I was always terrified to get written up because I absolutely hated getting in trouble. So one night in my residence, I was drinking with my friends in one of their rooms. In residence you are not allowed to play drinking games or something on your floor, I don’t really know, I personally think that is dumb. But anyways, I was playing a drinking game with friends in one of their rooms, and our door was shut. We were playing the penis drinking game where you had to think of a song or a movie and throw the word penis in it. This game was literally so funny but amusing at the same time. So we were all having a grand time drinking our lives away , when little did I know our “Ra’s” (people who are in charge of the floor), were outside our room listening. Pretty much all they heard from outside was “penis this” “penis that”, and “drink bitch”!. So pretty much we all got written up for playing the drinking penis game.
17.I was scared shitless- Within my university years, I remember in lecture probably few times where I was completely caught off guard by my prof. I am pretty sure it was super early in the morning, because I was literally not all there yet. I was busy writing down notes and was pretty concentrated when my prof decided to raise his voice because why?… who really knows. I jumped so friggen high in my seat that my friend literally was dying of laughing. My pen flew across my paper, and I am pretty sure the people behind me were drying of laughter. You’re welcome.
18.I love being naked- If you do not know me already there is one thing that I love doing when I am around my girl friends, and apparently that is being naked infront of them. I absolutely love dancing and lying butt naked in my best friends bed spread eagle. That’s my life.
19.I almost lost my Vagine– So a long long long time ago when I was still living at my old house, we had this awesome pool which we would swim in literally every single day. So I was stepping into the pool, and started going down the ladder when I suddenly slipped and fell hard core onto it. Literally one leg went on either side of the ladder and I was so lucky I did not lose my vagine. Thank the lord.
20.I puked in a mansion– So this happened quite a few years ago one summer when I went with my cousin to her friend’s mansion, literally a beautiful mansion. I was drinking with everyone at this place and it was absolutely beautiful. I swear I have never been in a house this fancy in my life! So I of course drank a little too much like always and suddenly did not feel good. I grabbed my cousin’s hand so fast and ran to the bathroom… literally just in time. I projectile puked all in the sink of the bathroom as well as on the floor. We quickly grabbed a hand towel that was just chillen on the counter and wiped it all up. What did we do next? Casually put it back and walked out of that bathroom so fast. Yupp I am a dirtbag!
So I hope you beauts enjoyed reading these super embarrassing stories that I came up with over the years. I am sure there are plenty more I just can’t think of them at this exact moment. Be sure to take a few seconds to follow my page and my social media accounts!
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Thanks again, & Much love xo.
itsthelittlethingsinlifethatmatter 
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