“You Owe It To Yourself”-What the hell is Self-Acceptance?

“You Owe It To Yourself”-What the hell is Self-Acceptance?

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Hey there beauts, I want you to pause and think for a moment… is your life perfect? Are you truly happy with yourself and who you are as an individual today? I know this may seem like an easy question to answer and does not have much thought but is it easy for you to answer? To be honest, being almost 23 years old,I do not think I could even answer this, not truthfully at least anyway. “Accepting yourself’ is much easier said than done. I do not think a lot of people within this world accept themselves for who they are as individuals, I know I am still learning how to accept myself, which is sad but it is reality. I know behind a computer I may seem bold, confident and with all my selfies I must adore myself right? Wrong.  Maybe I just love that one aspect of my body where the camera makes me look super thin, or maybe I just love the way the black and white filter highlights my cheekbones… but do I really love me for me? I have been struggling for many and I mean MANY years now with accepting who I am as an individual. I have questioned myself over and over again as to why I can not portray self-love and show it off to others. After searching for numerous years I have finally found an answer. It may not be the answer everyone is wanting to hear but I have found it, and that is being honest with yourself.  I did not want to be honest with myself for the longest time, in fact I was really trying to avoid writing this blog, but I knew that others may benefit from it or even take home a message from it. In previous blogs I have discussed the topics of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, body image and so forth. I wanted something different from this blog. In fact, I wanted the main message to be a combination of all of these topics.

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Behind some of my pictures on Instagram and other social media sites, you may see an extremely happy/confident girl, which is fairly accurate. I am an extremely happy person, but you do not hear the thoughts that are going through a person’s mind when you are glancing at their selfies or photographs. In the photograph up above what do you see? Some may see a black and white portrait, but I know I see someone who is struggling to keep down their dinner they had tonight due to an eating disorder that decided to come back and take over. And that is number one topic that I decided to be honest with myself, and that is my bad eating habits. I know in previous blogs I have discussed this topic and how it had gone away. I have come to the reality that I think this eating disorder is always going to be a part of me, but is not going to define who I am. I may think here and there about my weight issues but I am going to keep living each day to it’s fullest. I know some people are bothered and ashamed to admit that they may have this problem whether it be bulimia or anorexia, but it is something that should be talked about. Maybe this way, others such as younger audiences will be more educated on these serious illnesses. I am not ashamed to admit that I am both of these illnesses, and I am not ashamed that I am going to counselling to get this under control. I just knew that I could not pretend anymore that these disorders did not exist, I just had to be honest with myself.

Self- Acceptance is about finding positive vibes or positive energy and applying it to oneself to create “happy thoughts”.  In order to help create those happy thoughts, you owe it to yourself to be completely honest, like a heart to heart with you and your body/mind. I know for a fact I am never going to be a size 0 ever, or a size 1 …. it is not in my books. Even though I strive for that perfect, skinny, body type, I had to be honest with myself. Lyss, do you really want to give up chips, pop and all junk food pretty much everyday and are you committed to work out everyday? Oh hell no at least not at this very moment in time. I knew for a fact  that I pretty much could not give up pop , I have tried and tried but I don’t want to. So now what?  Well time to be honest with myself. Does eating those stuff occasionally make me happy? Yes. So why give something that makes you happy up for that size 0 body image? Even though I struggle with my size, I am still going to eat that piece of pie later and enjoy every bite, I just had to be honest with myself.

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……. and what about that “A” word… ya you know it, stupid anxiety. I could rant about it day in and day out but I won’t to save you some time.  Alright time to be honest with myself, are you ever truly going to get rid of this mental illness? Probably not. Have you been working on coping with it? Yes you have, and that is being honest with yourself. I know I may not be that social butterfly at the parties until I have had a few shots of tequila, or I may not be able to look you in the eyes for a long period of time when I am speaking but hey…. at least I have a voice, a quiet one but I do. I have come to terms that I will always be that “quiet type”, but in my books, that is ok.  Being quiet does not define who I am let alone anxiety. I still love to share my blog posts with hundreds of people including with my friends on Facebook, I can gather up the courage to go adventure out to the mall by myself and take my sweet ass time, and I can also dance my ass off with my best friend tequila…. and you know what…. that is OK. I may need a little extra help here and there when it comes to social events and socializing but at least I am being honest with myself. Are you?

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Even though you do not want to face your “flaws” or your “insecurities”… sooner or later you have to in order to find or help find self acceptance within yourself. Even though I am 23 years old and look like I have my shit together, I do not. Am I trying to get my shit together? Yes. How am I doing this? By accomplishing the first step…by being truly honest with who you are as an individual.  You owe it to yourself. These do not define who you are as an individual, but they help you accept who you are as a person… different from everyone else in your own unique way.

Thanks for the read my beauts, let me know if you guys enjoy these more personal blogs! Be sure to follow my page for my blog posts to come in the near future,

Much love xo

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5 Things I wish I would’ve known earlier

I thought I would change things up a bit my beauty bloggers! This blog post for today isn’t necessarily about beauty, but I thought it was a rather important piece of information that would make a good read. Do you ever sit there and think to yourself, wow…. I wish I would’ve known that piece of advice or information way earlier in life, then I would’e thought differently about it? I have come up with 5 pieces of important advice that I have learnt over the years through experience, but I had wish I had known these earlier.

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  1. It takes going through a few assholes to find “the one’.

Relationships can be extremely painful at times, sometimes even unbearable if you find yourself in an unhealthy one. I have had my fair share of dating so called “assholes”, and guys whose main priority is themselves. I have felt stuck.. but if I wanted to, I could’ve left at any point, I just chose not to. When I look back at some of my past relationships I often feel angry, sad,and disappointed in myself that I would even open up to these people in the first place. Do I regret dating any of them? No I do not , as they have helped built a stronger person out of me. The good thing about going through a bunch of assholes is that now I know exactly what I want in a guy. I want someone who is sensitive, caring, loves family, humorous, a happy camper, and someone who brings out the best in me. If I would’ve known earlier that it takes a few assholes to find “the one”, I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself through every breakup. I have always thought to myself, “what is wrong with me?”, “Why are assholes drawn to me?”. “Am I going to be alone forever”, and “why me?”. I am sure these are some thoughts that everyone can relate to while dealing and coping with a bad breakup or relationship. One of the key words that I have learnt over the years while going in and out of relationships is “patience”, Be patient when trying to find the right guy for yourself. You can’t find your prince charming just like that. From experience, I can proudly say that after going through my fair share of awful boyfriends and bad relationships, I have now found my prince charming. It took a few bad ones to finally pinpoint exactly what I was looking for.

2) Learning to accept your flaws will help create a healthier you.

Everyone has flaws that  they struggle with on a daily basis. The truth is some people hate their flaws so much, that it starts to impact their daily life activities, and their lifestyles. Whether it be body parts, personality traits, how someone acts or the choices they make, everyone has a flaw. I could write a whole list of certain flaws in my life that I have struggled with for over the years, often feeling ashamed of myself. Instead of dwelling on your flaws, try teaching yourself to learn to accept them. Even creating a more positive mindset and outlook on life can help you create a more happier lifestyle. One of my biggest flaws that I have struggled with is my shyness. When I look at other people who are so outgoing , I wonder how one can be like that. I would give anything to be an outgoing individual, but that’s just not me, and that’s what I have learned to accept, Even though I am quiet, I still have bright ideas to offer, I care a lot about other people, I have made it into my fourth year of university, and I have done over 20 presentations.  I have created a more positive outlook towards my flaws, realizing that if I cannot change them, I can try to cope or minimize them. Each day, I try to push out of my comfort zone… and since I am a shy girl that is not something that is easy for me to do. Little things such as forcing myself to say “hi, how are you doing?” or “hi how was your weekend?”, pushes me to open up to more people who I am not the closest to. A prime example of this could happen within my work atmosphere. Since we have a lot of staff members who work within my daycare, I try to at least say hi to everyone I pass in the hallway or at least one person. I have found that this is slowly helping me overcome a great deal of my shyness. Will I go infront of 100 people and say a 40 minute speech? Probably not. But am I working on overcoming a lot of my shyness towards people? Yes. You should not be ashamed of your flaws. Even though I am not the most outgoing person in the world, I love being my quiet self.

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3) Loosen up… don’t sweat the little things.

Boy am I one to talk but I cannot emphasize how true this is. When I look back in the earlier years, I feel that a majority of it was spent being too “stiff”, worrying too much and stressing over the little things in life way too much. Life should be enjoyable and not spent worrying about every little thing in life. If you get in trouble at school for once… who cares? maybe it will make a good story later on to tell your kids that you can laugh about. Learn to brush things off or you will eventually make yourself sick. If you encounter a super embarrassing moment in your life, try to laugh it off.  Don’t let that embarrassing moment bring your day down!

4) It’s not all about the looks.

The media has distributed a world wide image on how the “perfect” female should look like. This person needs to be super skinny, have big boobs, have a nice bum, tanned skin, blonde hair, and a bubbly personality.In reality, nobody can look that perfect and be considered “real”. It just doesn’t work that way. Ever since being introduced into the instagram world, I have always cared so much about my physical appearance. In order for a guy to recognize you, I thought it was all about how you looked! I thought it was all about having your boobs pushed up, wearing tight clothes, and having a flirty personality, but that slowly began to attract the wrong group of people. Since I was so concerned about my looks, I was starting to attract the guys who only wanted “bootycalls”, or guys who were super shallow. I was so tired of trying to keep up with society that I had finally realized, I am never actually going to reach society’s standards of “the perfect image”. Pretty sure my stretch marks on my legs, my beauty mark on me left arm, and my freckley nose does not make the cut.  The truth is, people don’t just look at your physical appearance, they look at the whole “you”. If you are looking for a nice, genuine guy, they will like you for the whole package you are offering for them to get to know, not just your appearance. Love your body just how it is, after all… there’s only one of you in this world!

5) Things do get better.

Everyone has hit rock bottom before or close to it after going through a hard time. When you are at a young age, everything seems like it’s the end of the world. Whether it be failing a test, going through a rough breakup, losing a loved one, flunking a university exam, or getting fired, this may cause a severe amount of stress. Sometimes the stress may seem unbearable to the point where you just don’t know if you can get through it. Trust me, I have been there, and gone through my fair share of highs and lows. But one thing I cannot stress enough is that things do get better. Even if somethings seem like it’s the end of the world in your eyes, someone else has it way worse than you. Take a step back, count to 10, and take 3 deep breaths. Everything is going to be okay.