“A Letter to my Bully”

“A Letter to my Bully”

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Hello beauties, I hope you all are having a lovely week so far and that it just gets better from here! As part of my little mini series of letters, I decided to direct this letter to “my bully”. I wanted to make a letter like this for a while now especially on this topic, so I thought why not do it now? High school was a touch era for me, and I had a lot to say but never had the chance to say it. I hope you guys like these letters, and please feel free to comment below and what you guys think of them!

To my bully,

Hi, it’s me again. I know you probably do not want to hear from me, in fact, I don’t think you have ever heard from me at all.  Isn’t that kind of weird? That I have heard you speak so many times, yet you have never even heard me? Some people think I am outgoing, funny, and bubbly while others tend to think I am more shy and reserved. I wonder what you would think of me? For someone who thought they knew me so well inside and out you would be surprised at how much you don’t know me. I think this is mainly because you never got the chance to get to know me. Instead of mumbling things behind my back and talking about me, why didn’t you just approach me? Knowing who I am as an individual, I would’ve taken the time to listen to what you had to say, but would you have taken the chance to listen to me? Probably not. So now I am going to address what I would’ve said to you, looking back on this whole situation years later down the road. I want to thank you. Not for how you impacted my life in a negative way throughout my high school experience but for making me a stronger person than I was years earlier.  Thank you for making me realize that not everyone on this earth is a caring and humble human being, but some appear to be a bit lost or maybe confused. I want to place myself in your shoes. I wondered what was happening in your life during those years to make you treat others so horribly.  I wondered if you needed someone to talk to, or maybe just to vent to. You know, my friends tell me I am a good listener, and I would’ve taken the time out of my day to listen to your life and try my best to offer advice. But you see, you wouldn’t let me, in fact you wouldn’t even give me that chance. Instead of taking the time to get to know me as an individual, you judged me before you even took that step. The glares, the rumours, the endless amount of chatter behind my back enough for me to hear, the verbal abuse over the internet and to my face all started. I wondered what was going through your head during all these attacks? Did you feel good after this all? Did you congratulate yourself after putting me down?  Did your self -esteem raise as you took some of mine?  I wonder what exactly was going through your head all these years after the tormenting. Did I let this experience ruin my life? Absolutely not. Did this awful epidemic ruin my high school experience? 100%. Want to know what frustrates me the most? Not what you did to me exactly but how I see yourself  affecting my little sisters. I see who you were in the eyes of their bully. Their personal tormenter, their intimidator, and their personal aggressor. I see the hurt that they are experiencing, and I know it first hand. Why? Because of you. Because you claimed to know me so well, and wanted to make my life a living hell. I see days where my sisters do not want to go to school because they are afraid, I see their happy selves fading because of their bully’s aggressive domineering ways. I see fear. Why should anyone in their life experience that sort of feeling ever? How is this fair to anyone? Ask yourself this. Better yet, I want you to ask yourself this when you are teaching your children good morals for school. I wonder what type of advice you are going to give your child when they experience a bully first hand, or will they simply follow in your footsteps? Will they follow your ways how you were in high school? How you treated me? How my little sister’s bully treated them? What role model are you going to be? I hope for their sake, someone better than you were back then. Someone with compassion, sensitivity, and overall portrays a positive atmosphere. I want you to give people a chance, and an opportunity for them to show you who they are before judging or humiliating them. I did not get that chance, but I really hope you give someone else it. I feel sorry for you. I am sorry you missed out on seeing how wonderful of a person I am. I am sorry you misinterpreted me, and I am sorry you had low self-esteem. Overall, I am sorry for how you were raised. Being raised to think it’s okay to humiliate a person at school and cause them years of anxiety. Being raised to treat others like shit, and hold yourself high when I know you are nowhere near that. Being raised to make someone else’s’ life miserable who never did a thing to you. I am sorry you were raised like that.

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Overall, this letter of emotions I had built up over those couple of years and to this day is finally coming out. This letter is not intended to give off my hatred towards you, because then I would become the bully, you. This letter is to rather inform you of the damage you’ve caused me those few years, but the strength that grew from that. Because of you, I am more aware of how much bullying occurs within schools. I now give advice to my younger sisters to help them get through this awful situation. I give them  the advice you taught me. To never become the person you were. To treat people with the respect they deserve, and to listen what others have to say. I tell them that this is only one person in your life, and to move forward. To not let this individual ruin or control your life. I tell them they are strong. In fact, I know them way better than you or their bully will ever know them. Why? Because I took the time to get to know them. Even though they are my sisters, I took the time to listen to their stories, to know what their favourite board game is, to offer advice whenever I can, and to provide the love they deserve. This is why their bully will never know them. They did not take the time to get to know each one as a special individual. As a person. As a being who has feelings. Instead, their bully intimidates, threatens, and judges their every move. Their bully tries to make their lives more miserable than hers, just like you did to me. How dare you take a piece of my freedom away from me for those years. The ability to walk in my school with my head held high was taken from me. It’s people like you who are the ones that live the miserable lives. Not us. I often question myself as to why I was the vulnerable one. The target in your little game. Why I was the susceptible one to your endless  amount of verbal torture over the years.I want you to answer that. I specifically want you to answer this question if one of your children asks you this. If one day they experience what you did to me.  What are you going to tell them? Because they deserved it?  Is your child going to be one of the 47% of individuals in Canada that bullying happens to? For me to say that I hope your child does not experience what you put me through should mean something to you. I hope they get that sense of freedom in high school that was taken from me, because they deserve it.

From your vulnerable victim,

Alyssa

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What I would tell my 16 year old self

What I would tell my 16 year old self

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Hello my beauts! I hope your week has been treating you extremely well! I was wondering and thinking hard of what this blog post was going to be about, that’s why I am a little late posting this! I was thinking and thinking and finally came across this topic that had sparked my interest. When I look back at my 16 year old self or my years in highschool, there is so much that I would change in a heartbeat. I wish there was a letter that I could’ve read at that time by myself saying “hey do this” or “do not miss out on this opportunity” and so forth”.  But unfortunately you can not change back time, but only move forward. If I had to write a letter for my 16 year old self, I would probably start of along the lines of this:

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Dear 16 year old self,

Hey so you are in highschool, congrats you made it this far. Yeah you may have a lot of struggles through highschool but just make sure to keep your head and chin up. You are shy, we all know that, but don’t worry, you will slowly come out of your shell. I know that you are extremely uncomfortable trying new sports or joining new clubs but you know what? Just go for it! I really think that you should try to be committed to at least one sports team. You are going to feel super proud of yourself that you are apart of something that means something to you. Yeah I know you do not know too any people in your highschool, but that’s okay. You are new. You are new to this atmosphere, to this city, and to this highschool. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to fit in.  Don’t be embarrassed that your sister is your only friend right now, it takes time. It takes time for someone who is so reserved to open up. Just wait. You  will meet a great group of friends who will get to see your outgoing and bubbly side aside from your shy side. You know what I think you should do? I think in your next class try to say something like a “hello” to someone sitting beside you in class! What do you have to lose? I think by  doing this, you will slowly start to come out of your shell and meet new people. I know for a fact that the sports team you joined will help you open up. You are going to meet so many new people and I think that is best for you! I know that when you are uncomfortable you like to quit things. I want you to make a promise to me not to quit this time. Sure you may feel awkward joining that club or team but I think you are going to thank yourself in the long run. This would be a great milestone for you, and you can brag to your kids later on in life how much you enjoyed that activity or sport.

Now 16 year old self, do not let boys get in the way of your friends. Trust me, if you put your boyfriend first you are going to lose all your friends. You really need to sit down and think of who means more to you. Does your boyfriend, a guy who can come and go, mean more than your friends, who could be there for you forever? This is a really hard question to answer but I have faith in you that you are going to make the right choice. Boys come with drama, and I really do not want you to become sick over a guy. Take a mental note. If you end up getting yourself into a relationship make a check list. List the pros and cons of this guy. Does he really make you truly happy? Do you think about him constantly? Oh sorry I forgot to mention this! Does your family like him? I know you’re stubborn but if they do not like the guy chances are for good reasons. I know that you are a beautiful girl inside and out. You need to make sure you understand this! You hear me? If a guy can not see how funny, caring and sensitive you are, the he deserves to be let go. You need to realize that you deserve a guy who is not going to screw you over. You need to make sure that he brings out the best in you. Sure you may get into your arguments, and that is normal. But if he is constantly making you unhappy, then do yourself a favour and say goodbye to him.  There is no reason for you to get sick and throwup over this guy. You deserve better, and he doesn’t deserve a second chance. I know that you may think it’ll get better with this guy, but chances are it won’t. Take the high road. You owe it to yourself. Remember that.

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Sorry I know I am completely nagging you, and I can be a pain in the ass, but there are other things I want you to read about. You need to realize that there are always going to be those negative people in life who try to bring you down. Bullies do exist. I know you are probably thinking that it won’t happen to you, but just have your guards up okay?  If someone does try to mess around with you and bring you down, just know that you are better than that. I know how you are. If someone brings you down it ruins your day right? Try to just brush it off because in the long run, they are only just one person. One person who has nothing better to do then to see you miserable. I am not trying to scare you by any means at all about highschool. Enjoy it. Throw away that negative energy those people give off, and focus on your growth and development. I know you are a happy person, and people enjoy seeing you smile. You do not want to dread your highschool experience do you? I didn’t think so. I also wanted to emphasize the importance of you going to class. Try not to skip too much okay? Education is so important and even though you do not realize this at the time, you will thank yourself later on. I know you do not like doing your school work or doing those presentations, but just try your best okay? I know when you put your mind to it, you can be a really hard worker , so I am going to push you. You want those amazing marks to get into university or college right? Only 4 years then you are moving onto the next chapter within your life. Stop growing up will you? Im kidding. I know you are a good student, I am only saying what I think is best for you.

I promise I am not going to nag your ear off, I am almost done I swear! Let’s talk about you always being anxious and a worry wart. I really think that you shouldn’t brush these feelings to the side lyss! Did you talk to your mom about all this?Emphasize that this is really bugging you? I think maybe you will feel better if you figure out why you are so anxious all the time. But in the mean time, try to take some big deep breaths. I know everything is new to you. New atmosphere, new people to be around, new hometown, new school to attend and so forth. But before you start stressing about all of this, do one thing at a time. Try to think positively about life, and think of something you are grateful for each day. This will help with your mood swings and your anxiety. Hey you are alive right? I am really proud of you, did I ever tell you that? I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself about every little thing in life. I think you should just sit back, pat yourself on the back, and think about all your accomplishments in life. You have accomplished so much, yet I do not think you see that. Stop and think.   You are only on this earth for a short period of time, be someone who your kids will look up to.

Well bye for now 16 year old self! I know you will make all the right choices as I have a lot of faith in you. Be proud of who you are okay? There’s only one of you in this world.

Much love xo

Alyssa.

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