Mental Health Update; Chit Chat with me focusing on Social Anxiety

Hey my beauts, I hope you are all doing well! I have been doing really well lately in terms of my blogging channel/collaborations and also… shh… launching a clothing line that will be launched soon when details are discussed and finalized with my stepbrother, go follow him on Instagram at @nateslofstra! Unfortunately, I can not share too many details of this clothing line with you beauts yet, but do not worry! There will be a blog on it coming in the near future for sure! I am super excited to be given this opportunity and can not wait to share more details with you beauts!  So it has been a while since I have done a chit chat with me post on my mental health and given you beauts an update! So my anxiety has been better under control ever since starting my new job, I think it is for sure a more relaxed atmosphere, to say the least, which helps me calm down a lot. One thing that I have noticed that has started to peek up again was my Social Anxiety, unfortunately. One thing I am proud of for myself is that I noticed this right away. I have been very anxious lately when it comes to social events some things may include my eye contact is very limited when speaking to people, I get nervous in big crowds or at parties; again if I am sober this is more evident. I also just get nervous when it comes to just small talk conversations, this really gets me anxious for some odd reason. If you beauts have been keeping up to date in the past following my social anxiety journey, you are familiar that these certain things have been making me nervous over the years. Some of these things in the past include:

  1. talk with individuals one- on- one
  2. maintain eye contact
  3. manage anxious thoughts about what people think of me
  4. tolerating criticism
  5. express more in a job interview
  6. go to a party sober
  7. call people on the phone
  8. return an item to a store
  9. ask someone for help

So as you can see, there were a lot of social situations that would make me feel uneasy and anxious at times, and that is okay. A little recap for you beauts who were not following my social anxiety journey in the past. I attended a social anxiety group every Wednesday for 8 weeks which was two hours long in length. Basically, we worked out of a workbook and did different exposures to help manage and face our fears when it came to social anxiety. I absolutely loved this group, after the 8 weeks, I felt like a completely new person who was exceeding in life day by day. I literally felt on top of the world, that nothing could get in my way. I have to admit, the exposures and facing them head on were not an easy process, but I can proudly check off some things I have mastered on my list which is a great feeling!  I can now pick up the phone, make appointments, order a pizza or just have a simple conversation which in the past, made me super nervous and uncomfortable.  I am now able to speak on the phone with little to no nerves which is a huge step for me!  Another thing that I can cross off my list is that I can return an item to a store and usually ask for help depending on the situation! So there are a few things on my list that I can proudly cross off.  There are however things still on my list that I need a little bit of help with still. One of the biggest things for me would be maintaining eye contact and having one-on-one conversations. I do not know what it is about these but I just feel so uncomfortable!

I made an appointment with my therapist and told her some of the social situations that still made me feel uncomfortable and she recommended right away that I go back to my social anxiety group meetings again. I really liked this idea! I think that sometimes we forget how to manage our anxiety for some situations and it’s okay to get that reminder for sure! I need that extra help again, and I want to work and better myself for 2018 as this is my year. So beauts, I am signed up again for the Social Anxiety Group which will be starting in April of this year. This will be a 9-week program for those who experience a lot of fear and discomfort about social situations. Often this leads to avoidance of certain situations and I did not want that whatsoever. I want to be able to live life to it’s fullest without fearing every social interaction I have. So this will be held every Monday starting in April. I hope to be able to cross more things off of my list for sure which would be fantastic and rewarding.  I will be posting blog posts for every meeting held like I did in the past to help you beauts see the progress and to allow myself to see the progress I am making as well.  I hope these updates will help at least one person who may be suffering like I am. I can not wait to start this journey and process with you beauts again, and keep you up to date!

Remember, 2018 is your year to shine. Take control of it. Notice how you are feeling, and don’t push aside emotions. If you are struggling acknowledge it, and fight it. You are a fighter, and if a quiet shy girl like myself can do it, you can do it as well. You are never alone. Have a great rest of your week! Take care.

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Mental Health Update- Chat Chat with me


Hello my beauts, Alyssa here! It’s been a while since I have talked to you guys, sat down with a cup of tea, and just shot the shit with you beauts. I have been so busy doing collaborations with companies lately, that it is nice to take a break and just sit down and talk to you guys about what has been going on in my life so far. As you beauts know I am always real with yous, I never hide anything and I am always sharing updates about what is happening in my life, especially on topics such as mental health. As most of you guys know mental health runs in my family, and it is not something I am ashamed to discuss with you guys, infact it is a topic I am extremely open about. I am an advocate for mental health and love sharing with you guys everything how I am feeling and my emotions. Lately, my family has been struggling with a lot of personal family matters, something that I am not going to broadcast because it is rather personal. As a result of this I have not been myself whatsoever, it has been constant days where I am completely up and about, and other days where I just want to sleep all day. It does not take a lot for me to worry about things, so I have been to say the least.. a mess. I have thought long and hard about what I am going to do, knowing that something needs to be done. I am not one to sit there and do nothing about the situation, I am not going to sit there feeling sorry for myself, that’s not me. I like to do things about situations and I think that is exactly what you have to do when life gets in the way of things. You need to make a plan. So that’s what I started to do. As you beauts know I am in college right now for Social Service Work and it has been extremely hard for me to focus on school at the moment for the past month or so. I let a professor know what was going on, and she was extremely supportive. I tried from then on to keep attending classes and try to focus on assignments and so forth but it was getting tough. I knew that I needed to start taking care of myself whatever that meant to do.


I recently was supposed to start placement the other day and knew I just could not do that right now. I am not in the right state of mind, I have no motivation for school whatsoever, and I would be setting myself up for failure not knowing if I would wake up and not want to go to placement that day. I then thought long and hard about what I was  going to do, breaking down to my mom about everything that has been going on. I am so glad I have that support there for me.  Family means absolutely everything to me, they are the closest people you have to you. I let my mom know that I don’t think I can do placement right now, and she completely understood. I let her know I was not in the right mindset and that I have not been myself lately whatsoever.  People who struggle with mental health issues can sometimes be up and down, and different things trigger our emotions, it can also be completely out of nowhere. I came to the conclusion that I decided to postpone school, for now, I am almost done, but I feel like I am not going to do my best or even go for that matter if I continue right now. This was a big decision to make but honestly, mental health comes first before school. I just wanted to chat with you guys and let you know that sometimes life gets in the way of things, it’s unplanned and it happens but you just have to sometimes think of a different plan and deal with it. I am now in contact with some counsellors from my college and I think I am going to start seeing my own personal therapist again just to touch base and get things off my chest. I can not emphasize how amazing it feels to chat with someone, whether it be your mom, dad, friend, or a counsellor, someone is always there to help and you don’t have to be embarrassed about it whatsoever.  I never thought I was going to share my own personal life on the internet, with complete strangers and with others but something in me told me it was the right thing to do, so here I am today. I want others to know they are never alone, that there are options out there, and that it is okay to put your goals and dreams on hold. That is exactly what I am doing and I am content with my decision. It doesn’t mean I will not finish my program but it means that I will finish it at a later date and that is okay. My program is not going anymore, what matters the most and what is the most important thing right now is my mental health and making sure everything is okay.

Of course, it helps with this little one here with me, this is baby Winnie. She is a cockapoo puppy and has helped tremendously in our household as our therapy dog. Puppies and any animal for that matter as huge life savour when it comes to making you happy, smile and bring peace into your home. We have only had her for a few days and we already notice a huge difference in our home which is wonderful when I go and visit my mom. I highly recommend having an animal in your home if you are struggling or just need a bit more happiness/peace in your home.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little chit chat blog! I always like keeping you guys updated when it comes to my mental health and I always love sharing any piece of advice that I have! Also, want to give a shout out to @dodolashes for these beautiful mink lashes that you can purchase with my discount code “thatothertwin_xo” for 5% off at the checkout. Absolutely love these lashes, they are super easy to apply and look stunning for daytime/ night time looks. Take care, much love xo.

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Social Anxiety Update ! (Post Therapy)

Social Anxiety Update ! (Post Therapy)


Hey beauts ! I have not written to you guys in a bit now describing and sharing my social anxiety progress with you’s. If you are new to my channel I have been struggling with social anxiety for a long period of time now . Recently I was involved with a social anxiety group therapy program teaching us different cognitive behavioural techniques and skills to help cope . I also had an exposure hierarchy that I was working on , where I would expose myself to my biggest fears which provoke my anxiety and trigger it . 

So it has now been approximately two months passed since I have finished my group therapy sessions and I just wanted to give you guys a little bit of an update as to how I  am doing and coping lately . A lot has been going on lately , especially this month. To my surprise I actually have been working quite a bit on my exposure hierarchy without even knowing . Not going to lie, I haven’t been quite on the ball like before planning out exposures and what is going to happen each day or what I am going to work on. Life gets in the way and that is okay. But writing this post and sharing more progress I have come to the conclusion that I have made some huge progress over the past couple of weeks. 

1) Job Interviews– On my exposure hierarchy list, I had written down that I want to remain more calm and comfortable when it comes to job interviews. Recently I had an interview , a Skype interview, which was completely new to me , on a volunteer blogging position. Of course I was psyching myself out and was debating whether just to cancel this interview or not go online. I was impressed with myself as I pushed through my nerves , and managed to attend the online interview which was 30 minutes long. The interview involved two people listening and watching me speak as they asked questions in regards to my blogging and my blogging channel. It was very easy but still nerve racking for me. So that was that ! I ended up getting the position which I was super stoked about. If some of you are curious it’s for the blogging company ” INKspire“, which I am going to start soon! If I would have let my social anxiety get the best of me , I would not have had the opportunity to get this position. I am happy I stuck to my guns! 


I also have some interviews coming up for part time jobs as I am heading back to school. This will be nerve racking for me for many reasons. Within my job now I hardly have to speak to any people aside from the mom, dad and grandparents. Now getting a “normal“job , I will have to push out of my comfort zone and associate with more people one on one. Fingers crossed everything goes okay ! I got this ! My coping statement that I often use through hard times like this is ,” you are good at interviews, you got this “. 

2) Going back to school– So as some of you may know I decided to go back to school! I applied to Mohawk college for social service work , so fingers crossed I get in! I have been wanting to do this program for a while now , so I am super excited I got the guts to jump on it! This process has not been easy. I had to inform my boss that I needed to leave and put in my two weeks as I will be going back to school. Quitting a job is never easy, especially the confrontational part about it. I would rather just send a text but we all know that’s not professional whatsoever….. sigh. But I managed to do it, and phew I am still here today , can’t win this time anxiety! I also managed to fill out my whole application without mammas help (that’s pretty big considering I hate doing school work forms). I will be attending my program hopefully next week ! I know my nerves will kick in as I will have to speak infront of people , but I know that I can do this. Just like that two minute presentation I did in group therapy. I did that , I can do this .


3) Speaking on the phone – Recently since applying to school, I have been on the phone with people trying to sort out my application. What shocked me the most was most times I did not hesitate to pick up the phone, I just went right away and did what I needed to do. I have found that speaking on the phone is not as bad as I thought , and I can do it more naturally now. Not to say the anxiety is completely gone, but I can cope and manage it better than before. 


As you can see I have been slowly working on my exposure hierarchy without really even noticing it . I think the biggest challenge for me will be school, since I was so used to have classes with friends at Brock University, that now I have to start fresh and brand new.  This will be hard for me but I am excited because I was informed there was a program you can register at Mohawk called the “Accessible learning centre”, where they accommodate your needs if you have learning disabilities or mental health issues going on. They can extend your assignments, move you to a separate room to write your exams and so forth. This honestly eases my anxiety a ton and makes me feel way more comfortable with my decision to go to Mohawk. All I have to do is just register for this program.  So that was the update that I had for you guys ! Let me know if any of you guys had tried out an anxiety group therapy program or not , I am curious how it worked or is going for you! If you have any questions in regards to this don’t hesitate to ask! I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week, be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page for the latest updates! 

Social anxiety group therapy- session 8 ( last session)

Social anxiety group therapy- session 8 ( last session)

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Hey my beauts! What a bittersweet moment it is. I can not thank you guys enough, my viewers, friends and family for supporting me through this new journey I had taken! For those of you who are not up to date with my social anxiety blogging posts, I will basically just summarise my journey and why I started attending these sessions. I have always been a very anxious person , even when I was little. I remember in elementary school always worrying constantly about homework and my studies. I was then diagnosed with general anxiety disorder within my years of university . I finally exploded and could not take it anymore . I received the help I needed to get back on my two feet , as well as taking medication on the side. My anxiety was under control for a long period of time but spiked back up again a few months ago . I saw my therapist and was inquiring about my anxiety levels as they were peaking again. I did not know if I just got used to my pills or needed a higher dosage. While speaking to my therapist , she had a thought. She handed me a sheet and asked me to rate my anxiety through all these social interactions. I scored a 90 for anxiety rating as my social anxiety levels were extremely high. She recommended that I seek this social anxiety group therapy sessions, but I was completely against it at first. Even the thought of group therapy gave me butterflies …. I would have rather had individualised therapy sessions. She informed me that everyone else in the group was on the same boat I was , suffering as well . I eventually agreed to the group therapy and I am so glad I did ! The first session was brutal , nobody really talked , hence the anxiety , but the instructors were very nice and comforting .

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Now look where I am today ! I made it through 8 sessions and finished my social anxiety treatment program. It’s amazing how far I have come. I notice it completely and so does my friends/ family members. From being so shy where I couldn’t speak on the phone to now being able to order a pizza over the phone is insane. I also can small talk with individuals without my chest tightening up, I am more relaxed while doing so ! The only exposure on my hierarchy that I need to work on is asking for help. I have struggled with this all of my life and it’s not going to be an easy one to work on let’s just say that! However, I made so many improvements over the past 8 weeks on my exposure hierarchy that I am super proud of myself.

So 6:00 hit and I sat down at the table for the last time.  We began our session with taking up homework that we had the previous week. Basically, our homework for last week was to just work on our exposure hierarchy. I had raised my hand and offered to speak to the class. I explained that I had been working on small talk again and stated that I had gone to a bar sober and met one of my friend’s friend there. I was afraid it was going to be very awkward but in reality, it went great and the conversation never died.  I was very proud of myself and so were my instructors! They had stated that I was improving a lot and were happy I was working so hard on my exposures.

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We then went into our last session of discussing new information. The instructors started discussing how to maintain our goals for the future. How we should continue to use the strategies we learned and also continue practising them as well. Rather than ending the treatment, we are encouraged to start living your life in a new way, when there really is no end. I am going to practice being assertive and focusing on my hierarchy goals.  We also discussed some of the goals when talking about cognitive behavioural therapy. We need to gain control of our anxiety by using the strategies we have learned over the past weeks to manage it. We need to become our own therapist. Since we now do not have our instructors to help guide and tend to us, we have to be our own coach.  We need to encourage ourselves as if we were speaking to our best friend.

Sometimes, dealing with social anxiety may not always seem effective, this could be for multiple reasons. First, maybe it’s too low of a dosage. Maybe we are not doing enough of our exposures to move past our fears and what makes us nervous. We could not be challenging ourselves enough as well. Another reason could be related to stress. We may be so stressed out or having a bad week that this interferes with our motivation and energy levels, affecting our exposures. Or simply life could get in the way. Often things pop up that may not be all that great, and unfortunately, we can not do much about that. If some things do get in the way of our exposures and trying to better ourselves, that is okay. Let these things happen, it does not mean to get discouraged at all. Let these things happen and when the time is right, you can work and use your strategies.  On the other hand, things may be going as planned and are effective, but what if the fear returns?  We need to sit down and think about what strategies were effective for ourselves, and we need to question ourselves as to why it came back. Sometimes, we only do our exposures occasionally, that leaves room for the fear to creep back in your life as you are not exposing yourselves more. However, there are things we can do to help prevent this from happening. First, continue using both the cognitive and exposure strategies. Second, practice these in different situations so that your exposures become second nature to you. You just have to keep, and eventually, anxiety will begin to decrease over time.

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We were then given some useful and resourceful information based on different articles about social anxiety. I will list them down below for you beauts:

  • “The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook: PProven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear” ( by Antony M.M and Swinson R.P. 2008)
  • “10 Simple Solutions to Shyness: How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety and Fear of Public Speaking” (Antony, M.M. 2004)
  • http://www.anxietybc.com

Overall, I am so grateful and proud of the person I have become today. Months ago, I was so shy and uncomfortable for everything, it was absolutely awful. I know I needed to do something for myself and pronto even though I was scared to reach out. It is okay to ask for help and reach out if you want to better yourself. I highly highly recommend this group or some form of social anxiety treatment based groups if you are struggling that I was. I will share with you guys the accomplishments I have done over the last 8 weeks and what was on my hierarchy, to begin with.

Exposure Hierarchy

  1. Talk with individuals one-on-one
  2. maintain eye contact
  3. manage anxious thoughts about what people think  of me
  4. tolerate criticism
  5. express more in a job interview
  6. go to a party sober
  7. call people on the phone
  8. return an item to a store
  9. ask for help

What I have accomplished

  1. speaking with individuals one-on-one such as my boss and meeting new people
  2. have tried maintaining eye contact with people during one-on-one conversations on multiple occasions
  3.  If I embarrass myself, I really do not care so much what people think of me
  4. I can call people on the phone now
  5. I have returned an item to a store
  6. I have gone to two parties sober

What I need to work on- asking for help and job interviews as nothing has come up so far.

At my orientation for the group therapy, we had filled out a sheet in regards to “willingness to change”. I will share with you guys what the instructor and I had discussed based on what I would like to accomplish:

Benefits of overcoming your social anxiety: 

  • more comfortable talking to people
  • be happier
  • pursue job opportunities

Reasons for changing:

  • just finished university and wants to improve future prospects and her state

Specific goals:

  • feel comfortable talking with another person such as her boss, strangers
  • make friends
  • arrange job interviews

Previous attempts:

  • breathing techniques
  • Prozac

I can truly say I am a changed person when looking back on this sheet of paper. Never in a million years did I think I was going to overcome social anxiety, let alone I did not know I actually had it that bad. I am so glad I reached out for help, and I encourage you guys as well. If I can do it, you can. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, I have it, and I am sure others who are reading this have it as well. I will say it once again, anxiety does not define who you are as an individual. I hope you beauts enjoyed reading these sessions in regards to my group therapy meetings, I hope you beauts learned a lot, and thank you for all the love and support you guys gave me. Means the world to me. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts for updates on the latest posts!

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