Hey beauts! I hope everyone is having a great week & I am so happy it’s Friday tomorrow thank god! Phew! It has been an up and down week but felt pretty productive so I am happy about that! I finally am starting to feel more productive with my days & that truly is a blessing. Not going to lie, some days I really just want to lounge, chill and lay in bed. I’m not sad by any means, I honestly just don’t know what to do with my days sometimes, or I just have very little energy. Anyone with me? Lately though, I have developed a “routine” if you want to call it, mainly for work and that helps me out a ton. Not only do you feel more energized, but you feel like you are actually doing something with your days. You let your body start to follow the same routine and daily tasks start to become easier. I used to find it so difficult to get up in the mornings, I would not feel refreshed at all, I would feel sluggish and I would honestly think about my nap later on. Now, my body naturally wakes up around 6 or 7 and I do feel refreshed. Of course somedays I do wake up wanting more sleep... I mean I wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t think that somedays no matter how much sleep I got.
I truly feel like I am starting to better myself in really good ways and that honestly makes me feel so happy. I am finding ways to better myself but I am still learning to accept my flaws, and that my beauts, is not an easy thing to do. I have struggled for years and years trying to accept one of my biggest flaws that I have. This flaw has literally drove me crazy for years. This flaw my beauts, is the dreaded “S” word. The word that has haunted me since forever and has always stuck with me through elementary school, high school, university and still lingers beside me even to this day. Shyness. Oh god , that word used to make me cringe and I felt so ashamed to have this “awful” trait.
I have so many vivid memories of this personality trait and characteristic holding me back from certain situations or events. I hated it. High school was a nightmare because I was so afraid to get out of my comfort zone and mingle with people. I only new my twin sister and was super new to Hamilton. I knew no one and I could not push myself to talk to anyone. I sat with my sister for lunch and didn’t really make too many friends.
Fast forward to university, for first year of university I was in residence and I hated it. I went home every weekend because I was so shy. I didn’t know anyone & I didn’t want to talk to anyone on my floor. I was secretly known as the “stuck up bitch” which I had mentioned in a previous blog post because I was so “shy”.
You automatically get judged when you are shy. I have literally heard so many times before “ why are you so shy?” Or I often have people throwing in my face that they are not shy, that talking to people is a breeze. I remember when I was going through university to be a teacher, and I was asked one question that literally killed me. I was asked, “how are you supposed to be a teacher if you can’t talk to anyone”. That shot my confidence down a ton and I hated how I was. I was often judged so bad for this trait that I felt ashamed to be known as “the shy girl “. I often sat in my room at night time, wishing and dreaming, that I would be cured of this awful trait. I wish I could talk to a random joe blow on the corner and ask what time it was. I wish I could be like Tana Mongeau and not give to shits about things!
I wish I could be the life of the party and show up not even drunk & chat up a storm. My list was big. Boy did I ever wish I could just change how I was , and be more “outgoing”. I always wondered, “why me?”, and thought that if I was more outgoing, I would have more friends. I dreamt.
It literally took me 25 years. 25 years to finally accept my personality, my traits and how I presented myself to others. Do I accept myself and love myself 110% all the time? No . Am I kinder to myself and watch how I speak to myself now? Absolutely. Although I am working on accepting some of my other flaws, the one flaw that I finally have accepted is being “that shy girl”, and you know what? I’m going to friggen work being that “shy girl”. After all these years of thinking I had some sort of disease, thinking “why me?”, I proudly can say fuck it. Fuck the feeling of having to come off as the “outgoing girl” all the time, and screw the individuals that don’t accept who you are, they don’t deserve to be in your life. They don’t deserve to get to know you or to know you better. Bye Felecia! See you next Tuesday!
I remember clear as day, my younger sister came home upset a while back because of what one of her ex’s mom had said. She apparently didn’t really like my sister because she was “shy”. I couldn’t believe it. How dare somebody dislike something like that about someone, something that makes you YOU. Of course this broke my sister and made her feel embarrassed, ashamed and upset. Do you want to know what that family ended up missing out on? A beautiful girl inside & out, someone who is extremely artistic , someone who puts others before themselves and someone who has a heart of gold. Often people who are shy are judged so easily right off the bat and this absolutely grinds my gears. Even though someone is suffering from shyness, doesn’t mean that they are stuck up or any less of a person. We so often shame people for having this trait and that disgusts me.
Sure I may have a very hard time engaging in conversations with individuals face to face sometimes, my heart may start to race when I have to speak publicly, I may stumble on my words when speaking out loud, or I may even turn down some social events because I feel like they are too much. You know what? That’s okay. I have finally learned that it’s okay. It’s okay to maybe skip out on the big social event that’s coming up if it helps you sleep better. It’s okay to pass on big gatherings if that’s not your cup of tea. It’s also however okay to push yourself when you can out of your comfort zone. Even if that means you are extremely quiet at that big huge event. Even if that means you only speak to your best friend out of 100 individuals there. It’s also okay to have that one glass of red wine to calm those nerves.
I have been so ashamed for years but I can not express the importance of taking a step back, taking a deep breath, & saying in the mirror “I love who I am, my shyness and all”. One thing I do really find that helps me out a ton when dealing with my little extra “friend” (hence I didn’t say disease!), are people around me that have patience and understanding. My boyfriend is amazing for that. I truly could not have found a more understanding and beautiful soul. My boyfriend, Dayten, isn’t really shy and sometimes tries to help me get out of my comfort zone, but without pushing me too far! At social events, he offers to grab my glass of wine and stands by my side. He knows that I struggle with interactions at times, so always ensures I am good. He holds my hand and helps me engage in some difficult conversations with others. He doesn’t push me to-attend things I am not that fond of, and never once puts me down or centres out of “shyness“. He is a breath of fresh air.
Find someone who doesn’t centre out your shyness, and find someone who doesn’t judge. You need to surround yourself with positive people in your life, ones who uplift you. So you are shy? Big deal. You are just as smart, just as beautiful and just as important as that outgoing girl down the street. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are a failure because you are a little quieter than others, I know the feeling, and trust me, you are far from that. So you were nominated as valedictorian & had to turn it down because the thought of speaking in front of your class was enough to make you puke. I get it. I would’ve done the same. But hey, girl you graduated and that’s something you should be extremely proud of yourself for. You effin graduated! Off to the next chapter! You got this and I couldn’t be more proud of you!
There are so many opportunities in this world and you have so much to be proud about. YOU DO YOU!
“I’m bringing shyness back, yeah! Them other f*ckers don’t know how to act, yeah!” – que Justin Timberlake.
Hello my beauts and welcome to my channel! Thank you so much for stopping by, I appreciate it a ton, means a lot to me! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day so far, I know I am! What has everyone been up to lately? Honestly, I have been catching up on some blog posts lately and have been busy getting ready for a new job that I will be starting at the beginning of July. I will be a daycare teacher, so I am very excited about that, and I will be moving back home again! I am excited for this new chapter in my life and I am nervous a bit to start! I know that I will enjoy this a lot, and I am excited to see where this journey goes! You can do anything you set your mind to, and if you work hard and want to accomplish your dreams you certainly can! Speaking of chasing your dreams, and working hard, I have one certain individual that comes to mind when I think of all of this. I have known this individual throughout high school and she was always a sweet girl. Although I did not know her on a personal level, she always had an absolutely rocking style and had great hair! We are talking all sorts of colours, absolutely love it. This beautiful kind soul is Sam Auton, and I have followed Sam for quite some time over Instagram, always admiring her cooking posts! Honestly, I am not the greatest cook in the world myself, so I always admire when someone else can cook well! Who knows, maybe it will inspire me one day! Not only is Sam full of amazing hair colours, tattoos galore, and is a wonderful chef, she is a mom to a handsome boy and decided to create her own business recently. I don’t know about you beauts, but when someone I know starts their own business I am over the moon happy for them! It’s not easy. Especially if you have a hectic schedule! Sam recently started her own business called, “Hearts and Tarts” (love the name, it’s so catchy!), and is doing quite well so far!
I knew I had to reach out to Sam in regards to her new business she started up! I was super happy when she agreed to collaborate with me on a blog post! Sam is a 25-year-old, who is the mom of an amazing 5-year-old boy. She is also an avid sports fan as well! Cooking and baking have always been a huge part of her life ever since she could remember! Sam states, “I love new and challenging adventures when it comes to my cooking“. I absolutely love this, and if it were me, the pan would already go flying across the room… that is how much patience I have when it comes to cooking, so I really respect her for that! I wanted to jump right in and start asking Sam the questions we are dying to know about her history when it comes to cooking and baking! Right away I was curious as to how long she had started cooking and baking. Sam explains, “I’ve been baking since I was a little girl, whether it was with my mom or my grandma I loved to bake ever since I can remember. Cooking came a little bit later in life once I started working in restaurants at 15. I always had a curiosity for food, and always wanted to learn more”.
“…I dyed my hair! It’s pretty crazy but I’m absolutely LOVING it. It’s super bright, and fun and it makes me insanely happy”- Sam Auton
Another question that I was very curious about was I wanted to know if it was self-taught or if Sam had taken any classes at all? Sam attended George Brown for the Culinary Management Program which was a two-year program. Sam states, “it taught me a lot being in that program. It’s more French-based learning but was able to learn a lot of other types of food and cuisine as well. It was a lot of fun and hard work. I had an externship at Trump Hotel which gave me a lot of experience in the high-end culinary world and helps me really finesse my skills that I was able to bring with me to any job I’ve been at”. That’s awesome Sam, way to go! You are doing so well for yourself! It really helps when you enjoy what you are doing in life, and are satisfied with your job! There is nothing like going to a job and dreading it, it makes your day go by so slow and just…. you hate it!
When did you first notice you wanted to get into the food industry? “I knew I wanted to get into the food industry full time when I was about 18. My family had always told me I should be a chef, and it wasn’t actually till I was at McMaster University that I really realized what I wanted to do. After one year at McMaster, I made the jump to George Brown and never looked back. It’s a tough and gruelling industry but can be really rewarding at the time”. I highly agree that it can be a very rewarding career path for sure! I am so happy and proud of you that you found your calling!
One thing that’s pretty neat about Sam that I think you beauts should know about is that she loves her food tattoos which I think is honestly so amazing and unique! I wanted to know a bit more about what kinds of food tattoos she has, and what inspired her to get them! Sam explains, “over the years I have gotten quite a few food tattoos. Some are just silly (like my grilled cheese and avocado) and others were based on family. My favourite food tattoo is my butter tart. My grandma was a big inspiration to me through many aspects of my life, but baking and cooking were the ones that really stuck. She was famous in our family for her butter tarts, and the last thing I was able to make her before she passed away was butter tarts that were her recipe. She told me they were perfect and that has always stuck with me as the biggest compliment of my career. She, unfortunately, didn’t make it to when I started culinary school, but I know she would have been proud of me. I have a few other silly food tattoos like my “lettuce turnip the beets” tattoo and a pineapple and some other small ones (also I have a hotdog which I’m pretty stoked about)”. I love this Sam, I think your grandma would be so proud of you and how far you have come! I mean look at you, now starting your own business, that is such an accomplishment! I love all the other food tattoos you shared, I think that is so unique and different, they suit you so much!
I know all you beauts are dying to know how her business, “Hearts and Tarts” came to be! Sam explains, “the inspiration came from entering a buttertart competition that I was in a week or so ago. Everyone who taste-tested my tarts told me they were great and some told me I should start selling them. Baking is something I’ve always been told I’m a natural at and I wanted to pursue it more as I’m mainly focusing on cooking at the moment”. I love this, and I am dying to taste some of the tarts myself! I am waiting for a special occasion to come up then I will purchase some! The pictures look absolutely amazing! Yum! If you beauts would like to place an order for yourselves, the best way would be through either Facebook Messenger, the direct messenger on Instagram, or you can also email Sam at email@example.com. You can also call or text Sam, as her number is located on both her Facebook and Instagram page. Her Facebook can be reached at ” http://www.facebook.com/heartsandtarts” and her Instagram page can be reached at “@heartsandtartss”.
“It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, just put your head down and get through it”- Words of advice from Sam’s mom
Sam is currently running her own business, “Hearts and Tarts” through her own home. If the business grows over the next year or two, she would consider investing in a storefront if everything was in order. Sam is always available to deliver and pickup is an option as well! That’s great Sam, I think that is a perfect idea and I think that is very smart thinking! You have a plan and that’s all that matters.
Who are your biggest supporters? “My whole family is behind me in this. They’ve always been my biggest supporters. My son thinks it’s fantastic (I think more so because he can taste test them all, who wouldn’t be excited about that?) And also my boyfriend and his family. They’ve been exceptional at giving me support (and extra taste testers when I need them to be)”. That is so fun, I absolutely love that! I know your son would enjoy that so much, best mom of the year right there! Love it! Another question that I was dying to know was what kind of tarts Sam made! Sam states, “I know this will sound vague, but any kind you can dream of, I can make. Anything from plain butter tarts, to chocolate chip banana bread, PB&J tarts and cookie tarts, to carrot cake, key lime pie, red velvet. If you can dream it, I can make it. I cater to dietary needs as well. My son has a severe nut allergy so I can cater to nut allergies, gluten-free, and even vegan (which you can thank my vegan mom for). I try to pride myself on making people as happy as possible, and if that means catering to specific needs, I’m going to do my absolute best at doing so”. I absolutely love this, and I love how you are so set on catering to people’s needs, I find that so important and I think that is so respectable. That’s amazing that you can make literally any kind of tart, that sounds delicious! I am going to have to think of one and let you know! YUM! I know carrot cake sounds absolutely unreal, and so does chocolate chip banana bread!
I then went in and asked Sam some more personal questions! A lot of people start businesses or enjoy doing a certain thing from inspiration around them. Inspiration helps so much whether it be an object or even a person. Sam expresses, “my biggest inspirations for cooking would have to be Graham Elliot. I watched him growing up, I’ve met him and he’s fantastic. He has the best personality for a chef that I’ve seen. He makes it fun while instilling in people to work hard and give it their all, push the limits on creativity because cooking is supposed to be fun. For baking, my grandma. May sound cheesy but I always remember watching her or helping her bake as a kid, and those are some of my favourite memories with her”. Awh this is amazing Sam, not cheesy one bit! I think that that is absolutely beautiful and I think family inspires us so much. I know she is one proud grandma that is for sure!
“If you’re going to get into this industry, be prepared for the tough days…”
Cooking and baking isn’t easy, especially going into the industry. Sam has a few tips, pointers and advice for individuals who are wanting to start their own business or want to work in the food industry. Sam explains, “if you’re going to get into this industry, be prepared for the tough days. Cooking can be fun, but it’s a lot of hard work. Put in the work because it will eventually pay off. Whether it be opening a restaurant of your own, a food truck, a cookbook, a promotion at work, it will all pay off. If you want to start your own business, make sure you have support. Whether it be family or friends (or hell, even both) you need support. Days are going to be long and hard and it’ll test you, but at the end of the day, you CAN and WILL get through it. Don’t give up because it can be insanely rewarding”. I love this and appreciate you sharing your advice on both of these subject matters, I think it really helps individuals who are interested in wanting to pursue this career path that’s for sure. Even individuals who want to create their own business, it’s not easy. I love your advice and thank you so much for sharing! I think this will help out a bunch of people that’s for sure.
“You’ll always come out the other side. When I’m having a really busy day at work and orders keep coming in, to keep myself composed, I know that if I put my head down and get through it, eventually it will be over, even if the end isn’t in your sights”- Sam Auton
The most famous question that I actually love to ask everyone who I am interviewing is where do they see themselves 5 years from now. I always find everyone’s answers so interesting and unique, there is not one bad answer and I literally respect everyone’s opinions and thoughts! Sam states, “in 5 years from now, I’ll be 30. I’ve reached all the goals I’ve set for myself up to this point and I don’t plan on stopping. By the time I’m 30, I would love to have my own food truck up and running. That’s my ultimate goal for the next 5 years is how I’m going to end up reaching that goal. Ever since my son was born, I wanted him to grow up seeing that no matter the circumstance that was thrown my way, at the end of the day, I still achieved my goals. He’s my biggest inspiration for everything in my life”. I think you are on your way to success and have already succeeded so much in your life Sam! I know your boy is probably so proud of his hardworking momma! I know I am very proud of you and all your accomplishments. Once you have that food truck up and running in the future I will be there grabbing some food that’s for sure! I want to personally take the time to thank Sam Auton for collaborating with me on this blog post, you’re amazing! I wish you nothing but the best for you, your family and your future endeavours. I know you are going far, and I am for sure going to get my hands on some of those tarts that’s for sure. I know everyone is super proud of you and your accomplishments. I am so happy about your new business and can not wait to see where it goes! If everyone could go and spread some love on her pages, on Facebook and Instagram that would be wonderful! Give her a quick like and follow! I hope your business takes off for you, and it was a pleasure collabing with you! I hope you beauts enjoyed this blog post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Be sure to subscribe to my channel if you beauts would like to see upcoming blog posts in the near future! Take care and much love xo.
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography. If you guys have not checked out her work and page yet I highly recommend it, she is so talented and gifted!)
Hello my beauts and welcome back to my blogging channel! Hi, hello, my name is Alyssa and I am so glad you chose to pop by and say hi! I have been blogging for several years now and absolutely love my hobby with a passion. I would not change it for the world. One piece of advice I would offer my viewers is to find something that keeps you busy and that you enjoy doing. It honestly took me a while to find out what my hobby was, but once I found it, I have never been happier. One thing that makes me absolutely adore my hobby, even more, is interviewing individuals from different communities. I thought of the idea a while back and literally thought to myself, “there are so many people from around the world with beautifully hidden talents, I would love to talk about them on my channel and show them off“. I know for a fact if I had a hidden talent and a blogger reached out to me and wanted to write about me I would be caught off guard but in a good way! So, that is when I decided to reach out to different people, ones who inspire me a lot, ones who are beautiful souls inside and out, and ones who deserve to share their story with others around the world. There is one lady in particular that has stood out to me over the past few months. Not going to lie, I do not watch too many television shows or series, I always end up missing an episode and I get far behind. I decided to watch a new television series called, “The Launch”, which looked very interesting to me, as I love singing shows (secretly wishing I could sing myself). This show helps undiscovered artists shape the creation of new releases with the help of producers and songwriters.
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotograph)
While watching “The Launch“, one girl on the show caught my attention. She had a very unique and beautiful look to her. Not only was she stunning, but her voice was out of this world. Her voice is the type of voice that makes you stop what you are doing and just listen giving you goosebumps all over your body. Her voice has so much power, meaning, and feeling behind it. I think this is what I specifically look for when it comes to singers if they actually have the feeling and power of their voice when they are singing. This lady, being only 23 years old, caught my attention right off the bat and I was rooting for her throughout her whole journey on The Launch. I am honoured and pleased to announce and share that I will be interviewing none other than “POESY” herself.
I remember clear as day, I was in the car with my mom and was in the parking lot of a grocery store. To let you beauts all know I do have two Instagram accounts at the moment, one was for my blogging account, but I decided to just use my main Instagram account from now on. I received a notification on my old account that someone just started following me. I didn’t think it was a huge big deal until I saw who it was that had followed me. It was none other than POESY herself, and I was in awe. I called my mom in the grocery store as I was just waiting in the car and told her the news, that POESY and I were actually chatting back and forth, having a conversation. I asked POESY if she would be interested in being featured on my blogging channel discussing her music career and Launch experience. POESY was more than happy to be featured on my channel, and I was literally on cloud 9. How was this happening? I informed my mom of the news and she was ecstatic for me as she was a huge fan of POESY herself as well. Right away we played “Soldier of Love” and started dancing and belting it out. I will never forget that day and the amount of happiness that flooded my body. One thought that entered my mind when chatting with POESY was how down to earth she was.
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography)
POESY was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia. She had lived on the east coast for a while, and then eventually her family relocated to Ontario. Like myself, she watches too many Youtube Vlogs, and her bookshelf is colour coded to look like a rainbow. POESY was always kind of a musical child, as she started taking piano when she was 5 years old. POESY states, “I was never nervous to sing in front of people, which now seems kind of ironic because I grew up a very shy kid. The first time I remember falling in love with singing was when I was 9 years old and sang at my grandparents 40th anniversary party. My parents thought it would be cute if I performed something, even though I’d never really done it before, and since the party took place around Christmas time, I sang a Christmas song called ‘the Gift’. It was originally performed by Aselin Debison (who is also from Nova Scotia), and I remember thinking, “When I’m a teenager, I’m going to be a singer just like her.” After that, I just kind of got obsessed and singing just became a part of who I am. It’s weird to think of a time when I didn’t do it”. I could not agree more with what you had said POESY! That is just like me when it comes to my blogging, it is hard to think of a time when I was not blogging. I feel like blogging has always been a part of me, just like your singing!
I then went on to ask POESY what her basic interests and hobbies were. POESY shares that outside of music, she really loves cooking. POESY explains, “The fanciest meal I used to be able to make was pre-packaged tortellini, but after a became (mostly) vegetarian a few years ago, I think it motivated me to become more creative and find ways to make veggies and beans taste just as good as meat. I also really love yoga – I’m still very much a beginner and definitely have a lot to learn, but it really helps me get into a calm headspace when things get hectic”. I love this. I have always wanted to try something new such as yoga as I have heard it’s extremely peaceful, calming and relaxing. This would especially be beneficial when times get really hectic especially since I struggle with anxiety!
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography) – How adorable is she though?!
POESY has been playing the piano for almost 18 years now (really wish I could play the piano!). I absolutely love hearing someone play the piano since I do not play any musical instruments. Now that I am dating someone who knows how to play the trumpet and piano, it’s so beautiful and peaceful hearing him play! POESY also knows how to play some basic guitar which is awesome! She writes a lot of the guitar because she doesn’t understand where the scales are, so it allows her to get out of her head, and just write based on feeling rather than what key it’s in. After wanting to get to know a bit about POESY and her story, I wanted to get into some deeper questions that I know you beauts are dying to find out. I wanted to know more about POESY’s music career and how she got to where she is today. I wanted to know what her biggest challenge was to get to where she is today. POESY states, “the biggest challenge to getting here was honestly probably just surrendering and putting my whole self into this career. I had known I wanted to do music for over half my life, but I had always been too scared to jump in and commit 100% of my time to it. Now that I am, it’s definitely a lot of work and comes with a host of new stresses, but they’re good ones – the kind that motivates you to go after what you really want and challenge you to be better. And it’s so worth it. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been”. I just wanted to say I am so proud of you POESY for putting yourself out there and showing the world your beautiful talent, you should be so proud of yourself because I am!
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography)
Who was your biggest supporter? “I’m very lucky to have always had parents who were very supportive of my artistic pursuits. From driving me to gigs to investing in my piano lessons, they’ve always been there telling me what you dream is possible. I also have an amazing core group of friends and a wonderful girlfriend who has always told me that what I’m doing is worth it. I know that not everyone who has big dreams is as fortunate as I’ve been in the support department, which is why a big part of my music’s message is to follow your heart because I’d love to be able to be that support for someone else”. I completely agree I think it is so important to have parents, family and friends who care about you and support you 100%. I absolutely love your message POESY, you have such a genuine heart and I have not even met you yet! You can just tell, and this is rare to find.
One question I like ask individuals is if they could go back and change the clock, would they change anything, or would they have done something differently? Often I sit back and wonder about this question personally, and there are some things I wish could have done differently for sure. Then again, you learn from your mistakes, and that is life. POESY explains, “I’m very proud of every decision I’ve made throughout my career – and while I guess I could say, “I wish I had started pursuing things more professionally sooner,” if I had, I wouldn’t have experienced the life-changing moments and struggles that made me into the person I am today. The only thing I might’ve done is taken some dance classes as a kid so I was more graceful on stage”. I completely agree with you POESY, I wish I would have taken my blogging a little more seriously at the beginning as well, that way maybe I could’ve been further along at this point. But hey, you live and you learn! You are still young, beautiful and have your whole life ahead of you!
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography)
“…I get most of my clothes from thrift shops, and I think I always will to some extent. I love putting on pieces of fabric and imagine they’ve been through all kinds of adventures, both sad and happy. Maybe they’ve been on a plane halfway around the world, maybe they’ve witnessed someone fall in love, maybe they’ve been stained with tears, maybe they’ve been pulled tightly to keep someone warm. Maybe they were someone’s go to companion on a good night out, or maybe they were the dreaded ugly piece at the back of the wardrobe that someone’s Aunt Freida improperly gifted. Or maybe they were none of that and just a piece of clothing. Either way, I like imaging. It makes me feel like we’re all a little more connected to one another, like maybe one day I’ll stumble across something that belonged to one of you. The piece I’m wearing in these photos must have seen some wonderful stuff because I can’t help but feel magical in it ✨“- POESY
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography)
One of the biggest questions that I wanted to ask POESY and was very curious about was how she had got involved with “The Launch“. Also, what was her experience like on there as well. What an amazing opportunity! POESY shares, “I got involved with the Launch about a year ago when I was contacted by a member of their A&R team. They mentioned the opportunity to me and encouraged me to submit an application. I recorded a quick video of me strumming Zombie by the Cranberries in my bedroom and a few months later, I was on a VIA rail train to Toronto to film the Launch. The whole experience was very positive, welcoming, and nurturing. I had never been involved with television before (or really any kind of large-scale musical showcase) so I didn’t know what to expect. But I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of support and care I received on set from everyone. They felt like family and I left feeling like I’d just had the most unbelievable few days of my life” Wow! What an incredible experience POESY, you must be so proud of yourself! I know I am so proud of you, and I know that thousands of other people are proud of you as well! You are an inspiration to so many people, and I can not thank you enough for that!
Do you write your own lyrics, if so, what inspires you? “Yes! While I didn’t write Soldier of Love, because of the nature of the show, I do write all my other material and am in the process of writing a lot right now. I’m inspired by all sorts of things in life – namely, my own experiences or those of my family and friends. I’m definitely a proponent of ‘write what you know’, but I also like sprinkling in references to literature, poems, history, and mythology because I’m an English major and occasionally like to use my degree”.
What was one piece of advice someone gave you in regards to your music and singing career? “The best piece of advice someone gave me was to step away from the piano and be a full-fledged performer. A lot of the musical personas I look up to a lot (Freddie Mercury, Florence Welch, Lady GaGa) have a huge presence on stage and I think, while I always aspired to that, I never really felt like it was something I could exhibit myself. Sometimes all it takes is one person giving you permission to become something bigger than yourself to push you to grow into the artist you were meant to be. In short, don’t limit yourself and be open to doing things outside of your comfort zone because the payoff will be huge”. Wow, after reading this POESY I stepped back from my computer and took in everything you just said. I love how you emphasize not to limit yourself, and to push yourself out of your comfort zone. I feel like a lot of people can relate to this, and take this in. I, myself, have had some big opportunities come my way, for example interviewing you, and my anxiety does get heightened because it is a big opportunity for me, I do not want to mess up! I love the advice you share, it truly means a lot coming from someone so successful such as yourself. I know a lot of people will be able to relate to this for sure.
(Photograph was taken by @chelseabrimstinphotography)
Often, if we are starting something new we do not know where to even start or how to go about something. I wanted to know if POESY had any words of advice to someone who was just starting out in the music industry. POESY states, “Write a list of reasons why you love music. Why it makes you happy. Why it makes your heart sing. Think long and hard about it and get as specific as you can. Then hang it up or save it on a computer somewhere where you can easily see it. Anytime you make a decision about your career or come across a setback, remind yourself of why you love what you’re doing. It’s very easy in this industry to lose sight of why you started this journey in the first place, so being really concretely sure about why you love and want to do this will make it easier to both push ahead in hard times and take a moment to relish a good time”. Thank you so much for the words of advice and wisdom POESY! I highly agree with what you are saying. I think it is so important to remind ourselves why we start something, and why we love it. I could not agree more with the “hanging it up” somewhere in your house to see. I think just waking up in the morning and seeing this will help brighten your day.
“…Cupcakes, spring days and sly smiles because hey, things might just be turning around”- POESY
Another question that I love asking individuals who I am interviewing is where do they see themselves 5 years from now. POESY explains, “I see myself as being an artist who is lucky enough to have a music career that can take them all over the world. I really want to travel and see as much as I can. I’ll be almost 30 so hopefully, I won’t be too stressed out. By that point, I’d also like to have two recorded and released albums under my belt. I’ll have a tiny little dog that comes on tour with me, have the time to celebrate the highs and lows with my friends and family, and maybe be working on my first book”. That is amazing POESY, and I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavours. You truly are going places, I have a good feeling about this! Just don’t forget this little old blogger when you are really famous! haha! I am praying for you, and wish you well!
Did you always know you wanted to become a singer? “Yes! I remember doing a school project in the 4th grade where you had to research what you wanted to be when you grew up. Mine was on a black bristol board complete with a red Hollywood-style curtain pulled back on either side to reveal the gold letters that read: “Singer”. I remember even then, my teachers were hesitant about the 9-year-old who claimed she was going to win Grammys and perform all over the world one day, but I always knew it in my heart”. I truly believe that this is going to be you one-day POESY, you got this, and you have a lot of people who are rooting for you like myself. You are so talented and you can do anything you set your mind to!
One question that I was really looking forward to hearing from POESY was geared towards her eating disorder. As you beauts know I personally suffer from an eating disorder myself, so I can relate and it really hit home for me reading her Instagram post on “Bell Let’s Talk Day”. POESY released a video explaining that one of her songs is in relation to her eating disorder and came out to share. I had to ask POESY about it, and if she had a message to those who may be suffering, like myself, at this time. POESY shares, “I feel like I’m not the best example of this. I denied my eating disorder for a really long time because the struggle I was experiencing felt more comforting than pushing myself to recover. Recovery was really hard, and I consider myself to still be working on it. I think it only really started getting better when I made the choice to choose a fully happy and healthy life, free from the grips of my disorder. I unfollowed every Instagram account that made me feel bad about my body and replaced them with people who were also in the recovery/body positivity community so that I saw inspiring messages from people going through the same thing as me every day. That made me feel a lot less alone. I also started to get into cooking, so that I found a creative way to enjoy food again. And most importantly, I opened up to people in my life and told them what I was experiencing. Once people around me knew, we were able to work together to find ways to make sure I was continuing to work towards a life where I felt comfortable in my own skin. The best message I can give to someone who is struggling right now is that recovery is hard; it’s more than being able to eat ice cream whenever you want or having pizza just because. It’s a choice that you make every day – it’s a process. And it’s okay to not be perfect at it every day. There may be times, even years after, where you still have bad body image days. But eventually, those will be farther and fewer in between and you will feel like yourself again. It might be a slightly different you than you knew before, but it will be beautiful and strong and so worth it”. I want to personally thank you for your beautiful message to those who may be struggling. It is hard. It’s a very hard process, and it is nowhere near easy. I am on the road to recovery now, but getting there and admitting I really need help was not easy. I love how you unfollowed some Instagram accounts that made you feel bad about your body, and I think this step will help me greatly. I think following some more accounts which shed body positivity will help me on my road to recovery. I know it was not probably easy for you to share this with the world on, “Bell Let’s Talk Day”, but I truly want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this. Not only are you expressing that it is okay to get help and not be okay, but you are being a positive role model for thousands of people from around the world like myself, and I can not thank you enough for that. You are beautiful.
“…Be who you are, love who you love, and shine as bright as you freaking can, no matter what that looks like, because you are wildly special”- POESY
Before I end this interview with the beautiful and talented POESY I would love to give a shout out and acknowledge the gorgeous pictures that I had shared in this blog post. Although I do not know the photographer personally, she has a gift and talent that is exceptional. I absolutely love photography and I am always intrigued by the type of photography artists choose to do, and by far this is amazing and beautiful work. I highly recommend checking out POESY’s beautiful girlfriend’s work over on Instagram at “@chelseabrimstinphotography“. I would absolutely love to maybe book a photography session with her one time, that would be amazing. She is from Toronto Ontario, which I am super excited about! Keep up the fantastic work Chelsea Brimstin, you are going places just like your girlfriend POESY. Keep on shining! Beautiful work!
“…she made me realize that to love someone is to fall in love with their whole soul before you even realize it’s happening”- POESY
I want to personally take the time to thank the beautiful POESY for allowing me to collaborate with her and agreeing to be interviewed. I can not get over how amazing and talented you are, you are such a beautiful soul inside and out. You really are going places, and I will not forget the day you responded back to my message on Instagram! (me dancing full out in the car singing Soldier of Love with Mom cranked up). I love how down to earth you are, you were my favourite singer on “The Launch” and I wish you nothing but the best for your future endeavours. You completely made my day! Keep on being you, keep offering your beautiful words of advice and wisdom to many others around the world. You truly are one of a kind and an inspiration to thousands of individuals such as myself. Keep on shining, and enjoy your wonderful journey. I can not wait to see you on May 11th at The Zoetic in Hamilton Ontario. Of course, I had to get VIP seats to see you, and I am counting down the days! Maybe I will even get the chance to meet you as well, who even knows! That would be a surreal experience! Love you POESY! I hope you beauts enjoyed this blog collaboration and interview with POESY. Be sure to follow her on Instagram and support her music journey! Much love xo.
Good morning my beauts, and welcome to my channel where I discuss all my wonderful Tinder and Bumble horror stories for you guys. Honestly, who doesn’t like to fool around on these dating apps? Sometimes, well most of the time I am pretty serious about these apps and I am genuinely looking for someone that has the potential to date. I literally have my list and follow that when seeing what I want in a man. I personally think there is nothing wrong with this whatsoever, and everyone should have some standards when trying to find the right man. So you can usually get a feel for someone when you are figuring them out, what they like and how their personality is. Well honest to god these individuals just set themselves up for failure like in my last blog post on my tinder and bumble experiences.
I can truly say congrats to these fine man, you are famous and made the cut for my blog post! I can honestly say these are probably some of my favourite conversations by far, and I know you guys got a kick out of my last blog post with my horror stories, so I had to come up with a part two for you beauts. So sit back, probably grab an alcoholic drink, I am personally drinking a rum and coke while typing this, and enjoy these beauties.
This one is probably one of my favourites, I met this guy through Tinder and we started chatting one evening. He seemed pretty chill and down to earth, did not seem creepy whatsoever. So we got chatting and then he randomly asks me, “do you ever horseback ride?“, and I personally thought nothing of this whatsoever, I legit thought that he wanted to be romantic and go horseback riding… boy was I wrong. So me being stupid I’m like, “I haven’t gone in forever!” and so on. It’s funny because I was literally reading this out loud to my mom, I thought he was being all cute and romantic because no guy has ever asked me that before, (mom deff called what was going to happen next, I was too oblivious). When he responded with the horse costume I almost spit out my rum and coke everywhere, literally, like full blown. I could not believe that he texted that to me, it was absolutely hilarious and completely random as hell. Kudos to you my dear friend, you sure know how to be romantic. Can we ride away into the sunset together?
This next one, you can tell I was starting to get annoyed as everyone on the site was either perverted or drove me nuts. I for sure got a kick out of it though. So I started chatting with this good looking guy and I felt like we were hitting it off okay! Then he starts talking about how sore his neck is, and I am completely ignoring the obvious, like buddy I personally don’t care. Then he has the balls to ask if I will “volunteer”, (VOLUNTEER?!, cause that sounds like a shit ton of fun) to massage it. My response? “Do I look like your slave”?“. Needless to say, he was unmatched right away. Or I would’ve been unmatched but beat him to it.
This next one I again was joking around and made a common mistake on purpose that some girls make, this is moving way too fast. Sure I have a list that I look for in a guy, and it’s just simple things such as if you are caring, sensitive and so forth, usually never go this far when it comes to expectations but I was extremely curious as to what he would say! I literally laughed out loud at his reply, and let him know after I was joking around. But girls, don’t move too fast or you will scare the hell outta the guy and he will dip forever, trust me.
The next guy that I was talking to I found on bumble and he was gorgeous, we hit it off pretty good and actually hung out at his place the one day. So everything was going well and what not, then out of nowhere he was asking about my dating life which is completely fine I am an open person and don’t mind sharing. So he wanted to see some pictures of the guys so I showed him and then he got all quiet about one guy in particular. I asked if maybe he knew the guy or something and he said his friend has been seeing him for two months now, (aka, I just went on a date with this guy about a month ago…. awkward). Apparently, he had keys to this girl’s apartment and everything I couldn’t believe what a player he was. I obviously had no connection with this guy whatsoever but I just felt bad for the other girl he was playing, I can’t stand guys like that, have some respect for women. That guy is long gone and I pray he changes his ways or he’s going to get nowhere in life.
So as you can see I have had my fair share of keepers, and I hope you beauts enjoyed this part 2 of these mini-series. I find these stories absolutely hilarious and I hope you guys did too. Again congrats to the individuals who made the cut, and goodluck! Be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my homepage for more blogs in the near future. Take care and much love xo.
We’ve all been there, well most of us anyways, have been on some sort of dating site in the past. I recently have been single now for about maybe more than like 7 months or 8 months, to be honest, I completely forget, but it’s been a little while now. I have to say going on these dating sites has really opened my eyes, both in a good and bad way. Don’t get me wrong, I have met some really nice people on these sites for sure, some really down to earth and friendly guys, who are serious about finding relationships. But if I had written a blog post about all the wonderful men I have met, then well… it wouldn’t be too interesting and I would have left out all the weird, freaky and gross online dating stories for you beauts. So a little bit of background information, I have been on two dating sites for the past couple of months now. I have been on Tinder, which everyone knows what the hell it is, and secondly, I have been on Bumble which is a newer site to me that I have just recently been on. My friend recommended me to try out this site and give it a go. The only difference about this site is the girl has to speak to the guy first when they match. This really didn’t bother me that much, I am used to usually speaking first to the guy, that is no biggie. So I decided to give these two sites a go. I can honestly say I have been on a handful of dates, and I think when you are single it’s good to get out there and see what you want in a guy, I find nothing wrong with that whatsoever. For the purpose of this blog, I am of course going to leave names out of this, for respect and confidentiality ( I am not that mean of a person). So shall we get started with some of my horror stories when it comes to Tinder and Bumble experiences that I have had?
First, I had gone on a date with this guy that I started talking to on bumble. He seemed like a really funny guy, and if you have a good sense of humour that usually attracts me a bunch. This guy seemed super nice and down to earth as well, so we have been talking for a bit now and finally decided to go on a date. When we were trying to make the plans, I go a bit of a red flag because he suggested we hang out on a Friday night and just relax and stay in. If you beauts know me, I like to be wined and dined that’s for sure. Like this is your first impression and you wanted to just stay in on the beginning of the weekend and chat? ( I was not down for this). So me being bold, I decided to speak up and suggest going for a drink ( buddy… it’s a Friday night, I am only young once). So he agreed, and he came and picked me up and we were on our way to a pub to sit down and have a drink. So everything was going good, I decided to be a badass and order a double rum and coke, just because it was Friday. We were chatting away, but I knew right away that there was a no connection whatsoever, but I was trying to enjoy myself. So about halfway through he randomly stops talking. I thought maybe he just was nervous so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him gather his thoughts for a few minutes because sometimes I run out of things to talk about sometimes. After about 5 minutes went by I knew something was up and things started getting really awkward. It literally looked like we were just sipping on drinks and looking around (just picture it now, super awkward). SO the waitress is coming by constantly, and now I am starting to pound back the double rum and cokes ( usually like to keep it classy on dates, but at this point, I needed to be drunk because it was painful). I am not one to watch sports that often by the way, and it got so awkward I started to watch basketball on the televisions at the bar. He finally perked up and actually asked, “So you really like basketball eh?“. I was trying so hard not to laugh, and I was literally thinking, “oh my goodness please take me home“. Finally, after about 2 hours, I finally said, “well did you want to head out?!”, and he states, “I mean if you want to we can?”, I am like, “okay, let’s do this”. Overall he was a nice guy and everything but like talk to me, I don’t bite! Let’s just say most awkward date I have been on ever.
The next Bumble story I have for you guys is about my personal “stalker” to say the least. This guy is a keeper. So I matched with him on Bumble a while back, a good looking guy full of tats and had a nose piercing (something about nose piercings on a guy get’s me going). So we had literally matched around 8 pm at night one night, and that same night he asked me to hang out. Usually, I do not hang out with someone on the same night but I literally had nothing I was doing so I thought, “hey why the hell not?“. So keep this in mind, we literally had no set time we were going to meet at, I told him I lived in Hamilton and he was from another city. I did not mention my address yet, but he was going to come and pick me up. So I had mentioned that I needed to get ready still but I would message him when I am done. So I finally finished getting ready and he proceeds to say to me, “make sure you wear something slutty!”, with a happy face. I could not believe this guy, I literally called him out and replied, ” you do know you are not getting anything tonight right”? He then states, ” well you never know what could happen“. I was so furious and that was so disrespectful to say to a girl, like come on man. So I then blocked and deleted his number because clearly this guy only had one thing on his mind and that was it. I felt like I did not need to give him any explanation as to why I did that cause well… he was a pig to say the least. Two hours went by and I randomly start getting about 4 calls from this random number, and texts from it. I was literally thinking, “ what the f***?!“. I start reading the messages and it was the guy who I was supposed to meet up with! He was literally reaming me a new one saying how I stood him up, how he drove all the way to Hamilton to come see me, and that I wouldn’t answer the phone (keep in mind this guy has no idea where I live okay), and he was so ticked at me, and could not believe how disrespectful I was. I was blown away. How disrespectful I was?!Are you kidding me!? I was so thrown off, I blocked and deleted that number as well. A few days pass now and I get a message on Instagram from this random account, keep in mind he did not have any social media accounts whatsoever. This guy, that same stalker guy, makes an Instagram account to message me on there and start reaming me out on there now! This guy has balls I tell you. I could not believe it. He was SO MAD beauts, and I could not emphasize that enough. So doing what I do best, I blocked and deleted him on there as well. I never gave this guy the satisfaction he wanted and replied to him, I just deleted him out of my life. SO that was my stalker story, this guy was a little too intense for my liking, but hey… you brought this upon yourself bud.
These next few stories are a little bit shorter in length but they are ones that I had to include for sure. I have had some real keepers on these sites, some are just like literally, “what the f***”, so be prepared! This next one, I was chatting with a guy on Bumble, and he seemed again friendly, good-looking, maybe looked a little bit cocky but I thought I would see where it went. So he was from another city and wanted to hang out, so we were deciding on what to do when we hung out. He wanted to keep it simple and come over with a bottle of wine ( we all know what he is thinking), I like to go out in public to go out for dinner or grab some drinks. He then proceeds to say this beauty of a line, ” so when are we banging out, I mean * hanging out”, with a winky face. Bye Felicia. You can go “bang out” somewhere else, LMFAO. I was so disgusted I actually burst out laughing. Does this guy really get anywhere with these cheesy pickup lines? So that was banging out boy, and I still can’t believe how forward guys can be on these sites, but I mean, it is Tinder and Bumble we are talking about here. It just frustrates me because maybe some girls, like myself, are actually looking to meet someone to potentially be in a relationship with them.
This next story always makes me laugh and I swear to god I felt so dumb for even swiping right for this guy. So I found this guy on Tinder this time, and we were chatting away, good-looking man. So he had a unicorn emoji in his bio and I honest to god did not think anything of it whatsoever. I thought maybe he just likes unicorns or is completely random one of the two. So he then proceeds to ask me, “did you see the unicorn in my bio?“, I’m like, “Yes, why?”. He then asks, “do you know what that means?”, being dumb I was literally like, “that you like unicorns?“, he was like, “no no no“. He then goes on to tell me that he and his girlfriend are looking for a third, and they wanted to know if I ever considered doing that. That honestly is not my thing, and I have nothing against people that are into those sort of things, but it’s just not for me. So now I know what a unicorn is and stay far away from people who have those in their bio. Honest to god, I felt like the biggest idiot, and I am pretty sure I am the only one who did not know about that kind of thing, I was so confused.
The next one is a classic, literally the classic “he stood me up stories“. Yes, yes I have been stood up twice, and it is not the nicest most lovely feeling in the world, to say the least. I have made plans with people, they knew my address and completely never showed, so you get those lovely bunch of people as well, which is amazing…not. I just do the simple block and delete, like why give them a second chance, f*** that crap, I don’t have time for that. Assholes. Some guy literally asked me to be his valentine , like buddy, how you going to be my valentine if you can’t show up for a first date?! Keep dreaming .
The best one is when you go on a date with someone who looks absolutely nothing like their picture, that is super fun. It really sucks trying to hide your disappointment when you meet them in their car, it’s so hard I can not even emphasize it enough! Like, please, update your pictures, or at least look a bit like them and not surprise the hell out of someone when you meet them. That blows.
I can not forget about the instant dick pics, those are quite lovely as well. Literally asking a guy how his day is going then BAM, ” here’s my dick”, like alright , cool. I didn’t ask for that nor do I really care. Can we just have a normal conversation, k thanks, you can put Princess Sophia away now.
I can honestly say finding your husband on these sites is almost near to impossible but I congratulate the couples who did find each other on these sites, you found rare beautiful people! I can clearly say I have been on a shit ton of dates, and a lot have been kinda crappy but some have been pretty good. I think this is such a learning experience being on these sites, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing to go on lots of dates, hell you are single AF you do what you want to do. I am single AF I am going to do what I want to do and that is that. But these sites I find are full of the most random people I have ever met, and sometimes I do get a good laugh from them. So three things to take away from this blog post today:
you are a bad ass b**** and deserve the best.
thank you to the individuals who were apart of these wonderful stories
I am sorry you got stuck with a blogger who loves to blog about everything… surprise!
I hope you beauts enjoyed this more amusing blog post that I came up with from my personal dating stories on these two glorious sites. Be sure to subscribe to my channel if you have not already and follow my other social media sites located on my main page! Take care and much love xo.
Hey my beauts, I hope you are all doing well! I have been doing really well lately in terms of my blogging channel/collaborations and also… shh… launching a clothing line that will be launched soon when details are discussed and finalized with my stepbrother, go follow him on Instagram at @nateslofstra! Unfortunately, I can not share too many details of this clothing line with you beauts yet, but do not worry! There will be a blog on it coming in the near future for sure! I am super excited to be given this opportunity and can not wait to share more details with you beauts! So it has been a while since I have done a chit chat with me post on my mental health and given you beauts an update! So my anxiety has been better under control ever since starting my new job, I think it is for sure a more relaxed atmosphere, to say the least, which helps me calm down a lot. One thing that I have noticed that has started to peek up again was my Social Anxiety, unfortunately. One thing I am proud of for myself is that I noticed this right away. I have been very anxious lately when it comes to social events some things may include my eye contact is very limited when speaking to people, I get nervous in big crowds or at parties; again if I am sober this is more evident. I also just get nervous when it comes to just small talk conversations, this really gets me anxious for some odd reason. If you beauts have been keeping up to date in the past following my social anxiety journey, you are familiar that these certain things have been making me nervous over the years. Some of these things in the past include:
talk with individuals one- on- one
maintain eye contact
manage anxious thoughts about what people think of me
express more in a job interview
go to a party sober
call people on the phone
return an item to a store
ask someone for help
So as you can see, there were a lot of social situations that would make me feel uneasy and anxious at times, and that is okay. A little recap for you beauts who were not following my social anxiety journey in the past. I attended a social anxiety group every Wednesday for 8 weeks which was two hours long in length. Basically, we worked out of a workbook and did different exposures to help manage and face our fears when it came to social anxiety. I absolutely loved this group, after the 8 weeks, I felt like a completely new person who was exceeding in life day by day. I literally felt on top of the world, that nothing could get in my way. I have to admit, the exposures and facing them head on were not an easy process, but I can proudly check off some things I have mastered on my list which is a great feeling! I can now pick up the phone, make appointments, order a pizza or just have a simple conversation which in the past, made me super nervous and uncomfortable. I am now able to speak on the phone with little to no nerves which is a huge step for me! Another thing that I can cross off my list is that I can return an item to a store and usually ask for help depending on the situation! So there are a few things on my list that I can proudly cross off. There are however things still on my list that I need a little bit of help with still. One of the biggest things for me would be maintaining eye contact and having one-on-one conversations. I do not know what it is about these but I just feel so uncomfortable!
I made an appointment with my therapist and told her some of the social situations that still made me feel uncomfortable and she recommended right away that I go back to my social anxiety group meetings again. I really liked this idea! I think that sometimes we forget how to manage our anxiety for some situations and it’s okay to get that reminder for sure! I need that extra help again, and I want to work and better myself for 2018 as this is my year. So beauts, I am signed up again for the Social Anxiety Group which will be starting in April of this year. This will be a 9-week program for those who experience a lot of fear and discomfort about social situations. Often this leads to avoidance of certain situations and I did not want that whatsoever. I want to be able to live life to it’s fullest without fearing every social interaction I have. So this will be held every Monday starting in April. I hope to be able to cross more things off of my list for sure which would be fantastic and rewarding. I will be posting blog posts for every meeting held like I did in the past to help you beauts see the progress and to allow myself to see the progress I am making as well. I hope these updates will help at least one person who may be suffering like I am. I can not wait to start this journey and process with you beauts again, and keep you up to date!
Remember, 2018 is your year to shine. Take control of it. Notice how you are feeling, and don’t push aside emotions. If you are struggling acknowledge it, and fight it. You are a fighter, and if a quiet shy girl like myself can do it, you can do it as well. You are never alone. Have a great rest of your week! Take care.
Hello my beauts, Alyssa here! It’s been a while since I have talked to you guys, sat down with a cup of tea, and just shot the shit with you beauts. I have been so busy doing collaborations with companies lately, that it is nice to take a break and just sit down and talk to you guys about what has been going on in my life so far. As you beauts know I am always real with yous, I never hide anything and I am always sharing updates about what is happening in my life, especially on topics such as mental health. As most of you guys know mental health runs in my family, and it is not something I am ashamed to discuss with you guys, infact it is a topic I am extremely open about. I am an advocate for mental health and love sharing with you guys everything how I am feeling and my emotions. Lately, my family has been struggling with a lot of personal family matters, something that I am not going to broadcast because it is rather personal. As a result of this I have not been myself whatsoever, it has been constant days where I am completely up and about, and other days where I just want to sleep all day. It does not take a lot for me to worry about things, so I have been to say the least.. a mess. I have thought long and hard about what I am going to do, knowing that something needs to be done. I am not one to sit there and do nothing about the situation, I am not going to sit there feeling sorry for myself, that’s not me. I like to do things about situations and I think that is exactly what you have to do when life gets in the way of things. You need to make a plan. So that’s what I started to do. As you beauts know I am in college right now for Social Service Work and it has been extremely hard for me to focus on school at the moment for the past month or so. I let a professor know what was going on, and she was extremely supportive. I tried from then on to keep attending classes and try to focus on assignments and so forth but it was getting tough. I knew that I needed to start taking care of myself whatever that meant to do.
I recently was supposed to start placement the other day and knew I just could not do that right now. I am not in the right state of mind, I have no motivation for school whatsoever, and I would be setting myself up for failure not knowing if I would wake up and not want to go to placement that day. I then thought long and hard about what I was going to do, breaking down to my mom about everything that has been going on. I am so glad I have that support there for me. Family means absolutely everything to me, they are the closest people you have to you. I let my mom know that I don’t think I can do placement right now, and she completely understood. I let her know I was not in the right mindset and that I have not been myself lately whatsoever. People who struggle with mental health issues can sometimes be up and down, and different things trigger our emotions, it can also be completely out of nowhere. I came to the conclusion that I decided to postpone school, for now, I am almost done, but I feel like I am not going to do my best or even go for that matter if I continue right now. This was a big decision to make but honestly, mental health comes first before school. I just wanted to chat with you guys and let you know that sometimes life gets in the way of things, it’s unplanned and it happens but you just have to sometimes think of a different plan and deal with it. I am now in contact with some counsellors from my college and I think I am going to start seeing my own personal therapist again just to touch base and get things off my chest. I can not emphasize how amazing it feels to chat with someone, whether it be your mom, dad, friend, or a counsellor, someone is always there to help and you don’t have to be embarrassed about it whatsoever. I never thought I was going to share my own personal life on the internet, with complete strangers and with others but something in me told me it was the right thing to do, so here I am today. I want others to know they are never alone, that there are options out there, and that it is okay to put your goals and dreams on hold. That is exactly what I am doing and I am content with my decision. It doesn’t mean I will not finish my program but it means that I will finish it at a later date and that is okay. My program is not going anymore, what matters the most and what is the most important thing right now is my mental health and making sure everything is okay.
Of course, it helps with this little one here with me, this is baby Winnie. She is a cockapoo puppy and has helped tremendously in our household as our therapy dog. Puppies and any animal for that matter as huge life savour when it comes to making you happy, smile and bring peace into your home. We have only had her for a few days and we already notice a huge difference in our home which is wonderful when I go and visit my mom. I highly recommend having an animal in your home if you are struggling or just need a bit more happiness/peace in your home.
I hope you guys enjoyed this little chit chat blog! I always like keeping you guys updated when it comes to my mental health and I always love sharing any piece of advice that I have! Also, want to give a shout out to @dodolashes for these beautiful mink lashes that you can purchase with my discount code “thatothertwin_xo” for 5% off at the checkout. Absolutely love these lashes, they are super easy to apply and look stunning for daytime/ night time looks. Take care, much love xo.
It’s me again, I hope you beauts are having a wonderful Tuesday so far! Last time I wrote to you it was for my 16-year -old self which I found rather refreshing. Of course, if I had to go back in time, or tell my daughter in the future about my 16-year-old self I would remind her of a bunch of things, the do’s and dont’s of life, the ups and downs, the yeses and nos of life and so forth. But I don’t think I have touched on the later years in life that are shortly down the road. I think it is so important to write dear letters, especially to yourself, it allows you to see things from a different perspective and get all your thoughts down on paper. A lot has happened since I was 16 to now 23 and I feel that I need to remind myself a lot of things, with regards to the struggles I went through to the great memories I cherish.
Dear 23-year-old self,
You made it. You’re here. In fact, you’re almost halfway to 30, so take a step back, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself. This wasn’t easy I know, in fact, if I had to do it over again there are things I would do differently and change, but unfortunately, we cannot turn back time, just keep moving forward. 23 is a big year and a lot of things are happening in your 20’s. You most likely are almost done school or decided to maybe continue education like yourself and I am proud of you for doing that. I know you did not want to go back to school again, 4 years of university is a lot, and I know you get really down and hard on yourself. School was not easy for you. You had a controlling boyfriend over the years of university who reminded you how dumb you were and laughed at your ideas. But you proved him wrong. You walked across that stage proudly and accepted your diploma and got your degree. You met another young man who accepted your flaws and would remind you how creative and smart you were, you did good kid. So you did it. You completed that phase in your life, and when another opportunity came up years down the road you took it. That is one thing I want to emphasize the importance of 23-year-old self. When opportunities come your way grab them. Do not be afraid of what’s going to happen next, but take advantage of things coming your way.And your opportunity was social work, and being accepted into a college to continue your education. I am so proud of you. I know a lot more opportunities will come your way after receiving this diploma. But aside from school, there are other changes you are experiencing right now. It’s a word that starts with an “A”. You guessed it. Adulthood. If I had to explain adulthood in one sentence, it would not be easy. We all experience things at different speeds in life, but if I really had to say something I would say this, ” Adulthood isn’t easy”. I wish I was prepared more. But nobody really informed me what was coming my way. I have never really shared a house with someone, especially my significant other before. If I had to give you one piece of advice 23-year-old self, it would be that you made the right move. Sure you had your fights here and there but you tried something new. You had to accommodate and adapt to living with someone else and that is never easy. You really learn a lot about someone once you live with them. Overall, it was a great step and a big one at that. I think you made the right move.
Dear 23-year-old self,
Mental illness runs in your family, we all know that. In fact, I think everyone suffers a bit from mental illness in their life, the severity of it depends on the coping skills you know and the strategies that work for you. You found out after 23 years that you developed social anxiety and you never knew you had it. I think you secretly knew something was up, but never thought anything of it. I am so proud of you for doing something about it. You challenged yourself and took it on. Some people struggle and just keep struggling but you wanted to do something about it which is amazing. Not only did you attend meetings every Wednesday for two hours, but you blogged about your journey to share with others and that takes courage. I know you love helping people and that’s why you chose to do that. You are an inspiration to others and I am not too sure if you see that just yet. Don’t worry, one day you will take a step back and notice the little things you do in life that are amazing, like yourself. Not only have you improved on your social anxiety but you have attended several interviews since then. This was not an easy step for you to accomplish and do. You hate interviews. It’s the fact of not knowing what will come next, or what if you say something stupid and they look at you funny. It’s all these “what-ifs”, but for some reason, in these last few recent interviews, you did not ask those in your mind. You focused on how well you were going to do and believed in yourself. You trusted yourself. If there is one piece of advice I would give to you 23-year-old self it would be to trust yourself and to give yourself a chance in life. Have some faith and hope and use your coping statements, you got this. You are improving every single day, did you notice that? Did you take a step back today to notice your accomplishments? You should do that just to remind yourself. 23 is not an easy year nor is ageing into your 20’s. I honestly wish they had a pamphlet to tell you the do’s and don’ts but then again, you wouldn’t learn from your mistakes. 23-year-old self you have made so many mistakes in life, but you are still here, learning from them, and doing better the next time. That’s all I can ask for. So thank you for making this a not so hard letter for me to write, sure I could write down all the things you did wrong and let you know how badly you messed up but where is the positive in that? I know 24 is going to be the year for you, I can feel it. Thanks for making 23 a good year for me, you have come a long way, as Tom Delonge would say it, “Life’s just waiting to begin”.
You’re not alone trust me. There are days where I look around me and wonder “Why don’t I have a big girl job yet?”, or how come I can’t seem to find a job in my field. Sure I have had babysitting and nanny jobs in the past but it’s not the same. I did not go to Brock University for 4 years to come out and apply for waitressing jobs. I am behind, everyone is going forward without me, and I am stuck. I want to scream for the world to slow down so I can quickly move up and not be so far behind. I am almost 24 years old, I should have my life together by now, I should be out of school, having my career dream job, starting a family in the next 5 years but somehow I feel so behind. Why? Don’t you hate that? Your thoughts in your head that won’t shut off even when you close your eyes to sleep and turn off the world around you? There are some days where I feel on top of the world as if no one can get on my level and bring me down. Other days I drown in my thoughts and wonder why I am moving so slow through life when others around me are running through it. It makes me feel like a failure. Welcome to my negative side. She often comes out when there are too many thoughts strolling and wandering through my mind. She’s terrible but doesn’t know it. I hate when she comes out, it’s as if everything I do is not good enough, that I need to try harder in life to succeed. But what if I let her win? What if everything I did I considered a failure in life? I would be miserable. I would hate who I was as an individual and I would be so burnt out from trying too hard. I am not going to let her win. She can’t and doesn’t deserve to. She’s miserable and that’s no way to live. What if I told her to look at things from a different perspective? Then what.
Dear girl afraid of falling behind,
Did you tell her? Let’s take a second to break down those things you see as “failures in life”. So you don’t have a big girl job yet, so what. Sure you want one, but how did you get that degree in the first place? By studying, by sleepless nights, by breakdowns, by endless amounts of presentations and assignments, and by four years of hard work. Now take a step back and ask yourself, “Do you really see that as a failure?”. Or those of you who have tried school and can’t seem to find the right program for yourselves. That’s okay because guess what. I thought I was going to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, and I found out that just wasn’t the right career path for me. So I tried a new route and love the program I am in right now. There are so many different programs out there that how the hell are you supposed to narrow it down and just chose one? It takes time, and I feel like everyone thinks time just runs out like that. Sure we grow older and get wrinkles eventually but that’s years down the road, not tomorrow, not the next day, or the day after that. You have TIME. And we need to reassure ourselves that we do. Even if we take a second out of our days to remind ourselves about this, that’s okay. I have to remind myself that I am not behind in life, that I am not falling behind. In fact, I am taking my time. I am not rushing, I am simply waiting for opportunities to come and find me as if it’s a game. I have been hiding for so long, that I think my hiding spot is too good for opportunities to find me. But then again, everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe in that saying and live by it. So girl afraid of falling behind, you’re only 2 seconds behind, not a year, not 2, not 3. It’s okay to not be on the same route as everyone else, and it’s okay to take that extra time for yourself to figure out what you truly want in life. Decisions are difficult. And it’s okay to take time for them.
Dear girl afraid of falling behind,
Focus on you. Focus on which plan you want to do next and stop worrying about the speed around you, you’ll get there. I know it feels like your miles behind but you’re not. Don’t let her win. There are times she’ll try to make you feel like you’re nothing, that you’re a failure, but you are far from that. Look at your accomplishments and everything you’ve done in life, it was not easy to get there, you worked for it. Even though time does not stop and people are continuing on with their lives around you, you go at your pace. Jobs will always be there, school will always be there and you’ve got nothing but time, endless amounts of it. You go do things at your own speed and life will accommodate you, trust me. I believe in you, and you’re never far behind. Things happen for a reason and always remind yourself of that.
Who isn’t afraid of being judged? I feel like all my life, I have always put others first before myself, wondering what others may think of me, and wondering what their opinions are of me. But it’s time to start living, and I feel like I have not lived my life yet. Wondering who’s going to like my Instagram photos, when in reality, they don’t know the story behind the photo, but automatically you are going to be judged. That’s life. No matter what you do, somebody is going to judge you whether you like it or not. But you know what? Own it. If you want to post a progress picture that you are too afraid to post, just do it. What is the harm? It’s your account, your Instagram, and your time to show off your progress. I can admit that I am a selfie queen, and a lot of people have asked me in the past, ” why do you post so many pictures of yourself?“. One word, I am “proud“. I am proud of how far I have come as a human being, challenging myself each and every day. I am proud of how I look, and how much I have worked on myself, I am proud of how far I have come. I have gained a sense of independence and I have become stronger over the years. So why do I post so many selfies of myself you may ask? Because I woke up today and I am happy to be alive, I am feeling good, I want to show off my best friend’s amazing photography skills, or I am just generally in a good mood. That’s why.
Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,
I was that same girl, in fact, I still am at times. It took a lot of people to get through to me that it’s okay to not care what others may think of you. Do you really have to impress them? Are they really too caught up in your life, that they forgot about minding their own business? I can relate to this statement. After breaking up and getting back together with my boyfriend I knew the judging would start. I had endless amounts of time to think and really think hard if this is what I want in life, I knew for a fact the judging would be there, but I had to push that aside. I knew that some people would not agree with the decision I made but in reality, “who cares”. Are they really going to determine your happiness for you? Are they the ones in your relationship? No. When you are thinking twice about posting that Instagram picture because you gained a couple pounds over the summer, just think, “Who are they to guide your life, to guide how you live, and to guide your direction in life?”. You are your own person, you have your own mind, you can make your own decisions. I currently am focusing on my life, my relationship, and my future. Those who can not accept it are not really your true friends and are not going to be there in the long run for you. This is like an experiment and I am testing you. I am testing you to see if you will be there for me, you may not agree with everything I am doing, but you will be there for me in the end. That is the real test.
Dear Girl Afraid of Being Judged,
It’s time to start your life and be who you want to be. I am supporting you 100%, and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I will be there for you. In the end, it’s about you and your happiness, not theirs. It’s not their life, their body, their mind… it’s yours. I am in the process of not caring what other’s think of me anymore. It’s not an easy thing to do, and the road may be a bit rocky, but once you stop caring what others think of you, you can truly find your happiness and start living your life. I can finally say I am starting to live my life the way I want to, are you?
I hope you beauts enjoyed this dear letter for the week. I usually gear my dear letters towards what is on my mind, and what I think other’s around me will benefit from, and learn from. Be sure to follow my other social media accounts located on my home page for more blog posts to come in the near future!